AWKWARD ZOMBIE

in 7th grade there was a kid who like tossing his pencil up in the air when the teacher wasn't looking

it got stuck in the ceiling, like stabbed into the ceiling by the point

no one said a word and it stayed there the rest of the year.

I remember in class there was always this cunt who would steal the pencil off my desk if I ever got up to do something.

The teacher would always tell me it was my own fault. Because how dare I leave my own stuff on my own desk alone for 20 seconds.

That teacher was a cunt too now that I think about it. They pretty much all were.

I was in junior high when the pencil/pen modification frenzy hit my school. Make it into a staple shooter, stick three springs in so it launches like a ballistic Catherine wheel, break a rubber band and slip it through the tube then launch the pen like a slightly more accurate Catherine wheel.

First few days of the fad were hilarious in class. Soon as the teacher's back was turned the modded tools came out and staples were flying across the classroom going clickclickclickclick and pens were getting embedded into the ceiling with loud thumps. They had to replace the panels by the end of the schoolyear there was so many holes in them.

Not in my class, but a class Tuxedo Mask was in, a student asked a teacher how to do something in a program they were working in. The teacher just nonchalantly replied "P on your keyboard." He has never lived it down, even with students who were not in that class when it happened.


In another class, everyone swapped seats every time the teacher walked out for something. At one point in a particularly long, grueling work day, everyone suddenly burst out in song when he walked into the class.


In that same class, I was so sleep deprived one afternooon that I forgot how to write in English. This was on a day when I had to write a script for a video and I spent a good 30 seconds staring blankly at the screen trying to remember what language I spoke. That was a fun class .___.

I had this teacher who'd throw erasers from the blackboard at people who rustled him off. He didn't aim to hit, but still, guy was pretty crazy.

recently in my math class there was a guy so high he couldn't figure out how to close the door

stay classy berkeley

I had a teacher who threw textbooks. Softbacks, luckily, because the accuracy was unreal.

Oh man, I have so much to tell about middle school, my class was crazy. A quick round down:
1st year (6th grade):
On the 5th of november most teachers were on a strike. And by some teachers I mean ALL OF THEM. It was total chaos. We even made a makeshift ball out of paper and duck tape, put aside every desk in class and started playing handball. Then near the end of classes two of the girls got in an argument. Eventually one of them drenched the other with a water bottle who then responded by throwing a plushie out of the window.

One time the class's douchebag decided to put a stapler on the girl next to him's chair. She noticed like 30 minutes later and when she told the teacher he started a shitstorm, called the principal to class, told the douchebag he wouldn't pass (the year he did) and started ranting about how she could get sick because the stapler was rusty or something

2nd year:
Oh man. For most of the year we had a spanish teacher so stupid that she couldn't speak spanish properly. Two guys started playing soccer during a lesson and she didn't even notice. During another lesson we did jack shit because we all pretended we didn't have the textbook. During tests you could just keep the spanish book under your desk and copy away

3rd year:
The one time I passed the final middle school exams with the best possible grade without ever studying seriously

Junior year in my Japanese class, I was joking around with my friend, and she tipped my binder off my desk. It landed with an audible thump, papers went flying everywhere, and I started cracking up. Our tiny japanese teacher looked up, yelled, "Ehh? Who threw that?"

Looks at me laughing, "EMMA-SAN, DETENTION!"

Aaaaahahahaha. Greatest day ever.

I don't get this, what is this supposed to do?

there was a biology teacher at my old high school who never noticed anything the students did. kids would roll joints on the desk and sell it to each other and she had no idea. there was another science teacher who used to go to parties with high school kids and do drugs with them.

in my sister's 8th grade science class two kids dropped acid and were having seriously bad trips. one guy crawled under his desk and just started freaking and screaming. paramedics had to come and take him to the hospital.

drugs are so blasé here. people came in drunk and high to class all the time and the teachers didn't even report them. i had a teacher tell some kids it was really rude but that was about it.

people also climbed trees near the park here to smoke pot between classes.

man, know that feel bro

I was night manager at a pancake parlour for a few months a year ago and goddamn

pretty much every other member of staff other than me was high most of the time

Damnit I used the wrong word
He put a drawing-pin on her chair

At my college

Everyone is high

At all times

I think every final I have taken, bodaciously every student around me was high out of their minds and the entire room smelled like pot. I actually started laughing at how ridiculous it was at one point.

where the hell do you live