AWKWARD ZOMBIE

There are many amazing posts in this thread that say what I think better than I could ever hope to, but I want to reiterate that you should take your time with things and try not to stress yourself out too much with labels. You do you, take care of yourself first and foremost. You've got a ton of support here with us!

OK, so I'm noticing a lot of people telling me not to stress about this, and I appreciate the concern, but I feel like I should clear up that I'm really not stressed about this at all. It's probably normal to be stressed, but I dunno, my brain is strange, haha. I can get a bout of anxiety from an angry customer at work, but not this, apparently. I think I've been stressed over this like twice. So yeah, while I am still kind of confused about myself and second guess myself a lot, it's not giving me ulcers or anything. Not that anyone did anything wrong, just wanted to clear that up. I'm really OK with just discovering right now.

Yeah nope

Never mind

I take it back

Definitely stressing about this a bit.

But I did get to talk to my friend on the phone last night instead of texting him, and it felt good to vocalize all of this stuff. I've always seemed to be able to think more clearly about things when I can say it out loud to someone.

I'm starting to figure some things out.

I don't HATE being male, I just wonder if I might be more comfortable as a female.

However, I will say that some things do bother me. I don't have a feminine voice, I don't act like a girl or have female vocal patterns, and I have chest and facial hair. Those things honestly do bother me. My friend asked me if I experienced any dysphoria, and I guess I do in those cases.

But at the same time, I feel like I don't care enough. I feel like I should have stronger emotions one way or another, and since I don't, I secretly don't care. But that's something I've had to deal with for a long time before this. I've struggled for a while with feeling like my emotions are somehow "wrong" at times.

well, you can tackle it in steps. you can shave your chest, face, leg and pit hair and see how you feel after that, it might help to be a less hairy lady. if it doesn't, well, it grows back. 'acting like a girl' isn't something that really exists, honestly none of my lady friends have any kind of common behaviours. you can be a woman in an infinite number of ways. you are already a woman.

Oh, yeah, I know that there aren't specific "girl" behaviors, what I mean is that I don't really display traditionally feminine behaviors. Which I'm not saying you HAVE to do to be female, but again, I notice it and it bothers me a bit.

Also I feel really pretty today and it makes me pop flyin'. :3

I did some shaving today and yesterday and OH GOD I AM SO SMOOTH, YESSSSSSSS. I wish I had some sugar scrub. I will be the Goddess of Smooth Skin.

I know right? I shaved my legs last week after 20 years of never shaving them once and it was so surreal how smooth my legs were.
IDK if I'll do it again without waxing or nair or something, the prickly regrowth suuuuucked.

I've always wanted to do this but I feel like I would need an excuse to do it. I get this weird feeling that out of all the guys that do shave their legs, only half of them are actually on swim teams. The rest just like the feeling. I want to know how cool (as in cold) bedsheets feel on shaved legs - apparently it's 'magical'.

Everything feels cooler, actually, and my legs felt numb because I was used to feeling things through the hair as opposed to directly on my skin. It was nice, though.

Yeah you don't really need much of an excuse to shave your legs honestly. Hell, if you're embarrassed about other people's reactions, I can tell you that very very few people will even notice unless you bring attention to it.

I want to shave my legs but my parents will definitely notice and then ask me about it and then the jig is up.

But I'm OK with not shaving them for now because I noticed that I feel so much better about my body when it's smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy.

I just feel a lot better about myself in general lately.

Nair smells like shit, I'll warn you right off the bat. And use paper towels to wipe it off, you don't want to get all of your leg hair on a towel and then chuck it in a washing machine, you'll create a giant hairball.

I can't comment on waxing from experience, but your first time is going to be painful.


ALSO ALSO, for a more expensive but more permanent option: electrolysis. You'd probably only want to do that on small areas since it's costly, but I've been considering having it done on my upper lip cause the hair along there is darker and makes me feel like I have a fuzzy mustache.

I think since this time last year I've shaved my legs like... twice? Maybe? I have to admit it does feel really nice and refreshing on the rare occasions they're smooth, but the majority of the time I just cannot be arsed. Though it helps I live in England where it's rarely hot enough to warrant wearing anything that even slightly exposes my legs.

But seriously though, who the fuck decided body hair on women was """unattractive""", I want to punt them off a cliff

The same people who think women in medieval fantasies should wear lingerie, and not actual armor -_- I want to punt those people off a cliff too.