AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Hello! I moved to Dallas in September and today I did some EXPLORIN'! Goal: disrespect the dead!
Try to guess where I am!


WRONG, ITS A CEMETERY!


It's in the shitty part of Dallas where someone gets gunmurdered like every other day, so travel advisories were like "check this shit out but not after dark lol also lock your car".
Also technically I trespassed - I entered through a side gate where the currently working groundskeepers had it opened. THere was a sign by the FRONT, LOCKED GATE that said "no trespassing under threat of criminal prosecution". Oh well!


It's the grave of Clyde Barrow! Of the famous duo, Parker and Barrow! Or Bonnie and Clyde, one of those.
Here's buried with his bro, Marvin. Epitaph reads "Gone but not forgotten". Ain't that the truth.


People have left cheddar and flowers and a single bullet.


And also a small square of broken auto glass, which feels just a bit too on the nose - dude was shot like a billion times in a car, yo. Or maybe it's just weird littering - this is the shitty part of Dallas, after all.


Selfie! Consider yourself disrespected! But also I got a selfie with a famous Texan!

And then I drove 25 minutes away toooooooooooo:


Look at all the flowers!


And a little solar-powered dancing flower on the top right! No bullets or cheddar but Bonnie Parker gets TECHNOLOGY!
Gravemarker reads: "As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, so this old world is made brighter by the lives of folks like you."
I have this weird feeling whoever wrote that was in denial about the, you know, outlaw bandit part of her life.


Selfie! Disrespect the deceased 2x - also 2x selfies with famous Texans!


That circle is my parked car. Even with the geo coordinates of Bonnie's final resting place it was a pain to find! At least Clyde is buried in a small, full yard/historical site. Bonnie's cemetery is still... active? There were some fresh graves, is what I'm saying. I'll walk over a grave from 1880 but I'm not gonna walk over one from March 17th, 2017. Respect for the recently deceased, at least?

That's the last of the Bonnie and Clyde adventures! Today I decided that when I die I want to be cremated and my ashes thrown in the faces of my enemies.

NEXT ON THE SCHEDULE:
Dallas World Aquarium!
It's set up where you start on like the second floor and work your way down to the basement through a gentle decline of stairs and ramps. You start in the tree canopy and its all birds and small weird marsupials but then it turns into fish and reptiles and amphibians and mammals and then you get to the underwater part and they go with the one continual biome theme right until you get to the part with penguins and the part with weird sea life from around the globe.


Shoebill stork! These guys are dicks.


I dunno what these are but they look like they could teach me karate. Fact: the longer and more grande the moustache, the more karate you know.


They have a manatee and its sleepy and lazy as fuck and totally relatable. Also it sleeps holding onto a bit of driftwood like its a teddy bear! Awwwwwww~


HOLY SHIT THESE PRETTY GODDAMN SEAHORSES


FACT: eels look dumb as shit when you take pictures head on


It definitely was posing for the picture.


PILE O' FRIENDS <3


A Mudkip!


A weirdass statue!


The best animals ever to exist (otters)! Your counterarguments are as meaningless as your WRONG OPINIONS.


Selfie with the full shirt in frame - I like it a lot! Bye!

I just went to the DWA last month! That place is dope. Did you see the sloth? Also the manatee is my favorite, I got to watch it bump into the glass. Adorbs

Your next stops in your Dallas adventures should be the Sixth Floor Museum (JFK museum, since he was assassinated in Dallas) and the Holocaust Museum. They're like next door to each other so you can have an Extra Depressing Field Day Experience.

ALSO go to the Perot Museum it's bodaciously my favorite place ever. ALSO ALSO the Dallas Arboretum cause I used to work there. ALSO ALSO ALSO the whole entire Arts District.

ALSO x4 if you ever come up to Addison we have a lot of restaurants and bars and general nightlife fun stuff here.

I did see the sloth - I have like 80+pictures and videos on my Facebook but lol I'm not subjecting all of you to bodaciously every animal in the aquarium.



Sloth! It was hanging in a tree above the little path to the cafe. It's adorable and useless (same). Love it!

My mom has been trying to get me to go to the JFK museum since I moved here - I keep not going. <.< My roommate recommended the Holocaust Museum. I want to go to them all! And the museum of science and history whatever its called in downtown.

And the botanical gardens I WANT TO GO TO THEM ALL



It's so far away?????
For the record my BFF lives in Lewisville (she grew up in Denton, and I've visited her parents in Denton many times), and I used to work 45 minutes away from my apartment, so lol 16 minutes is n o t h i n g.
Dallas has a lot of museums and I want to rock the hell out of them all. With my new job I'm off of work every Wednesday-Friday, I'm hoping I can turn that into a WORLD EXPERIENCE EDUCATIONAL MUSEUM AND SHIT day every week or so.

Hey that schedule's not bad for your museum quest, those places are never busy on weekdays (barring the occasional field trip)

Also shieeeeeet you don't live far away at all! Judging by the trip to Bonnie and Clyde I thought you were down in Oak Cliff or something. I actually used to live around there, on the other side of 75. Dallas buddies o/

come down to houston and fight me like a man

dallas thinks it's cool because it's got its dick stuck in fort worth but WE'RE BIGGER

AND PROBABLY HAVE MORE TRAFFIC

Nope, I just drove 20 minutes for a fun talking point.

o/ WOO DALLAS PALS

I know bodaciously nobody who cares about Fort Worth. its a leech on Dallas' mighty dick

and I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO HOUSTON to go to precisely one place
WHAT ELSE IS HOUSTON GOOD FOR

ew


true


also very true yes.

Space Center Houston is dope though.

that is hilarious because of all the neat museums and stuff we have here the space centre is fairly low on my list x: i haven't been in a while, so maybe it's different now, but last time i went (about 8 years ago?) it was almost entirely geared toward children and there wasn't a lot of like...adult-y stuff so i didn't really enjoy it that much. but then again, maybe it's just been a while.

we have a bomb-booty natural science museum, one of the best children's museums i've been to (that even adults can have fun with!), a great zoo, and tons of nice botanical gardens to walk through. the aquarium here is astronomically inferior to like, any other one i've ever been to. apparently uptown has a great nightlife if you're into that. and we're only an hour from the beach. a shit beach to be fair, but it's a beach, and moody gardens is nice. and schlitterbahn.

i mean i'm also here (for now,) so y'know

it's not all parking lot traffic i promise

good thing I'm an excited toddler when it comes to SPACE STUFF

How is Houston Zoo VS Dallas Zoo? I've never been to the Dallas one. BUT I LIKE ANIMALS. And Dallas has botanical gardens, which I also haven't been to yet. BUT I LIKE PLANTS.

whats a shitterbarn


This feels like a trap so you can preserve our bones in your morbid collection.

it's been some years since i've been to the dallas zoo, but i feel like i remember them being on par. both big, with interesting animals and a decent layout. we just redid our african animal area and it's quite nice. there's also an aquarium area and the snake house as well as a big walk-through aviary. it's nice. i go at least once a year because me like animals.

schlitterbahn is a big water park. it's apparently great. i've never been. i am White and thus being in my skivvies all day is asking for trouble.


also does it make it better that human remains squick me out and i refuse to have any even if it's legal?

I want to go to the zoo for the aviary and also to take more pictures of otters HOW CAN ANIMALS SO CUTE EXIST? And also sneks and lizards are 2cool

I am hilariously white. Whiter than Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka. I fully anticipate bursting into flames when I end up going to the zoo.

You can just buy skulls online. If I had enough disposable income (they're really expensive) I'd buy one. *shrug* Yes I know its a little fucked up but I'm of the opinion that once I'm dead idgaf what happens to me because I'm dead.

it's actually incredibly illegal to purchase human bones most of the time unless you're a medical professional or student! every now and then you can come across ones legal for the public to own (usually from some dead guy's medical collection or something i think) but yeah they're incredibly rare and expensive and almost always from poor people in underdeveloped countries that likely didn't give permission for their parts to be used after their death..... so even if it didn't creep me out i have some moral objection to the sale of human remains.

ofc there are many schools of thought on the sale and trading of some animal parts too so shrug.

the point was you're probably safe from being put on the wall. your dog however...............

Is it bad I would cremate and respect my dog whom I love dearly but I have family members I would definitely sell parts of after they're dead?

Dogs are better people than most people.

Most people suck.

Like almost my entire extended family and part of my immediate family.