AWKWARD ZOMBIE

It is true. You made everyone else's life pop flyin'. You failed your mission, Trygve.

I wish for some crispy bacon.

Granted! You get the crispy niblets of our dear forumite Bacon.

I wish my microwave popped every kernel in my bags of popcorn evenly, without burning them.

Granted. It does so by firing a precision neutron beam at them. The popcorn is now radioactive.

I wish my penis was 1" longer, while maintaining the same length to width ratio.

your penis is now 1 inch longer, so it is 2 inches.


I wish that my hair dryed quicker.

Shaka-Zu! your hair now generates microwave radiation when wet.

I wish I could finish this book.

You finish the book, but the ending leaves you completely unsatisfied.

I wish I wasn't so daisies sexy.

You are horribly disfigured in a car crash.
I wish for my room to be clean.

It's so clean that the shine blinds you.

I wish I had a great electric bass guitar.

granted, but the guitar is a fish.

I wish I had an axe.

Granted, but the axe has the head of a salmon.

I wish I had the coolest new computer to show all my boys, holla.

You have the coolest new computer to show, but never to use. When some one does try to use it they get shocked and die.

I wish I had an Entei Shirt from AZ.

Da da da DAAA! You get an Entei shirt, but now all of your other clothing has disappeared.

I wish I had friends at school.

OK, Your best friend is the creepy old janitor.

I wish for a life size anthro fox plush.

Zippidi-do-da! Granted.
But it's anatomically correct. and male. and-

I'm not going to say it.


I wish my phone would take quality sound recordings.

You just made my wish even better

OK, but the phone can only record and nothing else. You can't even play the recordings.

I wish for a device capable of performing various actions through sonic waves.