AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Your Constantine avatar makes that awesome

Also why should you get the French version of Windows 7?
it runs faster than the other versions

Brits were once known as Redcoats since they were so ruthless the blood stained their coats red, hence the name
the French were once known as the Brownpants

What do you get when mixing a prostitute and a sword?
A dead hooker.

A man who was skeptical of a fortune teller was convinced by his friends to give it a try. He goes into the tent and faces the psychic, who gazes into her crystal ball and says, "I see you're the father of two."

"Hah! That's what YOU think!" laughed the man. "I'm the father of three!"

"Hah!" That's what YOU think!" replied the psychic.

Comment on BNP Facebook page:
Britain Needs Pakis, without them who will run your shops and take aways?

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tested whether you tend to do simple things In an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, Put in the elephant, And close the Refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, Put in the elephant and close the door. This tested your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend....except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant.

The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.

This tested your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, You still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.

Have you not been listening?

All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

This tested whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

So If you didn't get any right, you're basically a thick bastard

Twilight.

What a page get.

...

I SPELT ELEPHANT RIGHT OKAY

OH MY GOD.

Ok when it was my school's award ceremony and we went the Cathedral the main guy in there (he was some ex-MP) told that joke in his speech (which went on for ageeeees, like half an hour or something and he put that terrible joke/riddle in there along with some starfish one).

One time i was talking to my friends in Media and the teacher caught me and said "Is there something youd like to announce to the class?", I went "yes", then stood up and said "the game" and sat down

Did they have any idea what you were on about? Only like, 2 people know about 'the game' and they're both game nerds who everyone calls emo's. One is also very fat. So, yeah, only those two would lose 'the game' if you said that in my school.

oh the entire class more or less went "fffffffffffffffuck you"

It's kind of funny how angry people get. I had a friend once who would flip the fuck out if you said 'the game' or 'i lost' or whatever.

You will never guess who I just saw at the petrol station - it was that human torch guy from the Fantastic 4 film.
I tried to get his autograph but he just kept rolling around on the floor screaming.