AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Well then.

INVENTORY:

- BLEACHED RAT POISON
- BLOODIED LINT
- BROKEN GLASS
- BUSINESS CARD
- CARD KEY
- CHAIR
- DICTIONARY
- ELECTRIC GUITAR
- EXPENSIVE PEN
- INFINITY REVOLVER
- JANITOR'S KEYS
- MAKESHIFT CRIMSON GLASS DAGGER
- MOP
- NAMETAG (Equipped)
- PLANT
- POISONED BROOM JAVELIN
- SAFE
- SCRAMBILONI'S CLOTHING (Equipped)
- SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET
- SOAPY WATER
- STAPLER
- TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES
- VARIOUS SNACKS (10)



I guess I'm keeping track of this now...So!

I second rocking out once more before you die. Who knows? They might just think you're so pathetic that they'll teach you to play before killing you.

You toss your safe at the nearest Angry Mobster, which does around 95 damage. You then use your POISONED BROOM JAVILIN to stab another. He takes 60 damage.

The ones you didn't hit then shoot you. Each shot does 30 damage, for a total of 90.



You hear a voice. You have a feeling. You have... a dream. You take out your guitar and ROCK LIKE YOU'VE NEVER ROCKED BEFORE. The ALMIGHTY POWER OF ROCK fills the air, and the Angry Mobsters are blown away by the awesome beats and solos you are currently creating! It does 70... no... 120... no, more than that... 230 DAMAGE TO EACH ONE! You finish with an amazing chord that sends them all flying!

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!



You take advantage of the fact you just knocked all the Angry Mobsters over and start shooting all over the place. You only hit each one once, though. This does only around 45 damage to each.



You draw your makeshift dagger and slash the one about to grab you in the face, for 73 damage. You manage to get another one right in the temple with your gun for 124 damage. He's still alive, though. Stupid RPG style damage system.

One of the Angry Mobsters punches you in the face, another hits you in the ankle and causes you to fall over, and a third shoots you while you're down. 122 damage total.

INVENTORY

BLEACHED RAT POISON, BLOODIED LINT, BROKEN GLASS, BUSINESS CARD, CARD KEY, CHAIR, DICTIONARY, ELECTRIC GUITAR, EXPENSIVE PEN, INFINITY REVOLVER, JANITOR'S KEYS, MAKESHIFT CRIMSON GLASS DAGGER, MOP, PLANT, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, SOAPY WATER, STAPLER, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, VARIOUS SNACKS (10)

EQUIPPED
HAT, NAMETAG, SCRAMBILONI'S CLOTHING, UDDER PICTURE

(I guess I should start posting the inventory every update now. Let me know if I forgot something. Also, yeah, I admit, I pretty much stole this list from Gigoergong's last post. Sorry.)

Don't worry about the inventory thing. The whole point of it was to help you out anyway. Though you did put in some things I missed.






Now swing that CHAIR at them.

USE INFINITE REVOLVER AGAIN.

AND AIM THIS TIME.

Spill the soapy water on the ground between you and all the mobsters. Taunt them into trying to tackle you. Use jokes about their mothers if necessary. Shoot at them and make sure to dodge when they slip.

After you do that, go into the kitchen portion of the cafeteria and look for BAKING SODA and VINEGAR. Take your now-empty SODA BOTTLE and drop in the GLASS SHARDS. Add the BAKING SODA and VINEGAR, screw on top, and throw at Ol' George as he comes through the door.

JAM YOUR OWN REVOLVER

You take out you're chair and smash it over the head of one of the mobsters. It does a surprisingly large 87 damage. You must have been hitting that particular goon a lot, because he doesn't get back up. Only four more to go!



You take out your revolver. You take incredibly careful aim. You don't want to have a repeat of last time, where you barely got any of your shots to hit!

Unfortunately, you take too long lining up the shot and get kicked in the face. It does a healthy 52 damage.



You spill the SOAPY WATER all over the ground and attempt to trick the Angry Mobsters into slipping on it. You REALLY good at tomfoolery, so it works wonderfully. On one of them, at least. You shoot at him to get him to chase after you and he slips, falls, and hits his head. It does a total of around 133 damage. He doesn't get back up either. It doesn't work on the other ones though. It turns out that they aren't all complete idiots.

Only three left!



You take your empty SODA BOTTLE and grab some incredibly conveniently placed vinegar and baking soda. You shove the last of your GLASS SHARDS in the bottle and poor in the vinegar and baking soda until the bottle is full. You get ready for Ol' George to come through the door so he can hit him with it, completely disregarding the fact that he is still watching the fight through the hole in the ceiling and isn't going to be coming through the door anytime soon. You end up getting shot while waiting and take 43 damage. You really are an idiot sometimes.



You suddenly feel your revolver is WAY too cheap. Seriously, a gun that never runs out of bullets, or need reloading? Clearly, you need to do something to even the odds. You promptly attempt to jam your revolver. You're not quite sure how to do that, so you try shoving the EXPENSIVE PEN in the barrel and hope that works. Rather then jamming, however, the pen just ends up flying like a bullet when the gun is fired. Although you didn't manage to even the odds, you did manage to hit a mobster for 74 damage. You don't think you're going to be getting that pen back, though.

INVENTORY

BLEACHED RAT POISON, BLOODIED LINT, BUSINESS CARD, CARD KEY, DICTIONARY, ELECTRIC GUITAR, EXPLOSIVE BOTTLE, INFINITY REVOLVER, JANITOR'S KEYS, MAKESHIFT CRIMSON GLASS DAGGER, MOP, PLANT, POISONED BROOM JAVELIN, SAFE, SCRAMBILONI'S WALLET, STAPLER, TRILBY-ESQUE CLOTHES, VARIOUS SNACKS (10)

EQUIPPED
HAT, NAMETAG, SCRAMBILONI'S CLOTHING, UDDER PICTURE

Finally cleaning out the inventory a little?

Stab one of them in the gut with the dagger.

You gotta recover some health quickly!

Cannibalize
10 sec. cast
5 yds. range
When activated, restores 7% of total health every 2 sec for 10 sec. Only works on Humanoid or Undead corpses within 5 yds. Any movement, action or damage taken while Cannibalizing will cancel the effect.

the expensive pen had powder i guess

Well, actually, it was more the bullet propelling the pen.

I know that would never actually happen, but so would most of the stuff in this adventure, so it's probably okay.

Hold the Janitor's Keys in your fist and push 3 of them up through the gaps between your fingers. Pretend you are Wolverine and punch a mobster with your new Key Claws. (+24 stab)

Then rob the mobster of his cheddar.