AWKWARD ZOMBIE

YES
> buy lazer turrets
> buy a flamethrower for your minions
> buy minions

>"Good answer."
>The EMPLOYEE retrieves a HAND-HELD BUTTON from his POCKET and presses SAID BUTTON. You both FALL into a TRAPDOOR.
>You arrive in a different kind of RADIO SHACK. It is a CAVE. BATMAN is at the CASH REGISTER. You suddenly realize that this must be the BAT SHACK.



>You ask BATMAN where to buy these things and he POINTS you down AISLE THIRTEEN.

>You perform a quick CURSORY SCAN of the BAT SHACK, and REALIZE that there is no AISLE THIRTEEN. It goes from TWELVE to FOURTEEN. You ASK BATMAN about this and he replies:
>"To find AISLE THIRTEEN is to find LIFE ITSELF."
>Though this seems a little VAGUE, you SHRUG IT OFF and begin your QUEST FOR THE THIRTEENTH AISLE.

>Exits are NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, and WEST

> Go down the 14th aisle

> Pick up any useful items

>Ask Batman where AISLE THIRTEEN isn't

>Ask Batman if he has any spare Bat-aisle 13-locators.

>BATMAN points his FINGER at your CHEST. You now know that AISLE THIRTEEN is not in your HEART.



>"Yes."
>BATMAN and you spend the next THIRTY MINUTES staring at each other, until you realize that he isn't going to GIVE you one.



>You decide you have had enough WITTY BANTER for the current PERIOD OF TIME and decide to go to AISLE FOURTEEN.
>Once there, you grab:
>1 CAN OF SPRAY PAINT
1 WINDOWS 98 BOOT DISK
1 FLOOR PLANS OF CAPTAIN NARWHAL'S HOUSE
3 BADGERS
99 RED BALLOONS

>Spraypaint one of the badgers and tie him to a balloon, Then offer Batman the badger in return of him taking you to aisle 13

> start singing in german
> Ask Batman if you may have an isle 13 locator

(you asked if he had any. Not if you could have one. Batman seems the type to do that.)

> Pick up the FLOOR PLANS to Captain Narwhals house

> Place BALLOONS into your INVENTORY
> place WINDOWS 98 boot disk in your INVENTORY
> Place 1 BADGER into your INVENTORY
> Name BADGER Ted.

> Go back to LAIR
> Train TED to become your evil minion.

>The remaining 2 BADGERS look very, very SAD.



>You begin to sing to the BALLOONS in GERMAN, because they remind you of that CATCHY SONG.
>You ask BATMAN if he wouldn't mind relinquishing himself of ONE AISLE 13 LOCATER.
>BATMAN hands you the AISLE 13 LOCATER.
>You press the LOCATE button, and it points you to AISLE 13, which is to the LEFT of AISLE FOURTEEN. You wonder why AISLES ONE THROUGH FOURTEEN use LETTERS, while AISLE 13 uses DIGITS.

>AISLE 13 is STOCKED with RAINBOWS AND UNICORN FARTS.
>You suddenly realize that there is a difference between AISLE 13 and AISLE THIRTEEN. God daisies it.

>Ask to borrow any AISLE THIRTEEN LOCATORS

If not:

>Ask for a price check on badger food

> Retrieve the other two badgers.

> Name them Susan and Susan
> Train them to be your evil minions as well.

> Make your badgers seek out aisle thirteen

>Burn UNICORN FARTS. FOR SCIENCE!!

>You are about to ASK BATMAN for an AISLE THIRTEEN LOCATER, but then you realize that AISLE THIRTEEN LOCATERS couldn't possibly exist as that would be SILLY.



>Your ARMY OF MINIONS is coming along rather NICELY. You place a PANK BOW on SUSAN and a RED BOW on SUSAN.



>You tell TED, SUSAN, and SUSAN to seek out the MYSTERIOUS AISLE THIRTEEN. They will be back in TWO UPDATES... er... TWO MEASUREMENTS OF TIME.



>While you are waiting, you decide to BURN the UNICORN FARTS. You knew that MATCHBOOK would come in handy.
>You STRIKE a MATCH.
>There is a COLORFUL EXPLOSION that SMELLS VERY PRETTY.
>A wild FART JOKE appeared!