AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Can I just not come out to my parents and avoid seeing them?

They're the kind of people who make disgusted noises any time they see gay people on TV.

I'm feeling a bit stressed about family since my dad has been very rustled about "people being pop flyin' about Gay Marriage being legalized" when it shouldn't 't be a big deal and when other issues are more important for SCOTUS to deal with. Meanwhile sis -in-law is posting anti-gay things on Facebook like videos and stuff and arguing with her gay friends about it. None of the shit she posts she actually believes, but because her church and her dad are outraged by the SCOTUS decision she wants to earn brownie points with them by posting shit on Facebook where every prying eye in the community will see. Spreading hate and "lol gays are getting divorced already gay marriage is an abomination like we said it was" is not acceptable for her when she knows better.

And I just want to scream at both of them for being so stupid and to say "guess what assholes, it affects more than just strangers and friends when you say these things, but my dad is a "non-bigot" bigot and my sis-in-law would probably lock my niece and nephews away from me in fear that someone tells the community that there's GAY in the family.

It's just so stupid. I finally come out to my host family and leave myself exposed and feel like I don't have to hide, and I worked up the courage to even consider coming out to my family, and now it's just like waking up from a dream. I'm gotten nowhere and the dialogue is even more buried because of how hot and "in your face" the news is right now.

More than anything family still treats me like a child, so at the very least I'm sure I could expect atleast one person to say. "He's just following the trend. It's cool to be gay nowadays."

My parents are upset about the gay marriage ruling too. They aren't bringing it up around me because they know I'll jump on that like a dog on a rare steak but my dad keeps mentioning how the US "isn't going in a direction that's pleasing to god".

In other, related news, they are still chasing after me with 'teehee you should find a cute boyfriend and give us grandkids someday' even though I've been getting quite exasperated about it. I can't outright shoot my dad down because he would throw an absolute tantrum over someone not being amused by his 'jokes', but I've told my mom before that I'm asexual and she's STILL not giving it a rest.

Mind you this doesn't come up too often in my household, but it was brought up the other day so it's fresh in my mind.

Oh god my mom does that to me all the time over girlfriends.

"There's no way that you're 24 and still haven't at least had a crush. Now tell me about the girls you like. Oh you don't want to talk about it because you're embarrassed or worried I'll embarrass you, how cute!"

Gets old real fast when it's brought up around strangers all the time.

Well, that's pretty much how it has been going for me. Came out to my brother and my mother ages ago before the marriage ruling. Every time I even CONSIDER coming out to any other family members or friends, SOMEONE will say something horrifically homophobic. It's not like it's on a scale, either - they don't say something like "well I personally disagree with that, but carry on". It's ALWAYS something like "fucking gays are ruining our country", "they are an affront to god and nature", and I once overheard a stranger say: "we should just shoot 'em".
I mean with friends I don't have any issues with them knowing because if they were terrible people I would stopped hanging out with them long ago (all three of them. :/), but I just have this fear of them slipping up on Facebook or something and outing me at the worst possible time.


This is also something I fear. I have four nephews. Two are my brother's and two are my sister's. I bet at least one of them would forbid me from contacting them because they might be corrupted.


and then there i are the two gay guys I know who just straight up refuse to acknowledge that it is possible to be into all genders instead of just one. At least when you're gay you get 100% support from one side of the community. Bi and you maybe get 25% support if you're lucky, and if you're pan you're a hippie.

I need a new social circle.


Amusing(ish) story. After the SCOTUS ruling my sister (EMT) was bitching about how the national pride day thing would be a total disaster from an emergency services viewpoint because all those gay people will be going full-on gay vandals on the town and burning shit down or something. She said this in the room with me, my mother, and my brother (the two people I am out to).

I was like "How would you know if you were treating a gay patient anyway?"
"Oh, I can tell. You can always tell."
"...no you can't?"
"Trust me. I can always tell. They're so obvious and gross about it."
and then my brother pipes in:
"Yeah, right. You could be in a room full of people and have no idea that there are any LGBT people present."
"I would know!"
"You definitely would not."

and then she left in a huff and we gave her helpful advice like "if a drunk lesbian tries to make out with you, politely but firmly tell them no like you would with any other drunk trauma victims."

Ugh yeah, it's that kind of thing. I'm sure my brother and mom can be told, but I can't find time where they're separate from the others and I can't depend on them no outing me and it's not fair to put that pressure on them of knowing and not talking about it.

So instead I just kinda exist in that limbo having to quietly take all of the "gay people have to be so obvious because every one of them have to act like it defines their entire being. It's so fake, like in all the TV shows."

And while I'm on the subject, I find a lot of gay couples on tv to be irritating because they feel like they're written to fill that kind of clowny role. I like camp, but it feels like by the numbers camp and there because "those wacky gays". Plus we need more lesbians. I miss Gus and Wally from Mission Hill.

In all fairness, how often do you see straight characters that arent solely defined by who theyre sleeping with? Yeah, they usually have SOME other trait, but its still a pretty big part of them. Sex is an easy, relatable part of life, so thats a topic that gets mined for all its worth.

[quote="Flame Warp on a different website]
Yeah, it's kinda weird. For some reason the second two characters are introduced everyone wants to see who/if they're diddling.

It was the most amusing euphemism I could think of, okay?

Anyway, reminds me of something the sniper said: as long as there's two people on the planet, someone's gonna want someone dead. Or, in this case, in bed.
[/quote]

now, that was in response to a post about the borderlands fandom, but it's true about every...well, everything, including real life.

My favourite way to counter the tired old argument of "YOU'RE EITHER GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOU CAN'T BE BOTH!!!" is to let them know how stupid that opinion is by bringing up sofa beds. IT'S EITHER A SOFA OR A BED, IT CAN'T BE BOTH!!!

I'm bi/pan and maybe demisexual? I don't know if demisexuality even matter tbh. I just know I talk to a lot of people and they find the way I'm attracted to people weird so maybe demisexuality does matter.

I honestly do not understand why demisexuality is referred to as a sexuality. As far as I understand it, it's a term that describes a person who only forms romantic relationships with people after forming a deep emotional bond. Does that really require a label? It's really just kind of a...way to be? Like it's not weird if one person is instantly sexually attracted to a person and wants to have a relationship, and another person may find someone visually appealing, but needs to have a closer relationship before being able to have a romantic relationship with them. Those are just sorta the differences in people and doesn't really require a label.

I guess this is just coming from a person who finds the huge amount of labels that people have for themselves sorta baffling. Like, I get it, but sometimes they just get so oddly specific and numerous that they become redundant and unnecessary. I guess I just kinda find it better for myself to simply be who I am and not try to find a name for all my idiosyncrasies.

Well, the way I always defined demisexality was more of a sexual attraction than a romantic one. But the reason I eve began to consider a difference in the first place was my literal inability to be sexually attracted to someone before I was emotionally linked to them.

It feels impossible for me, and maybe that's not worthy of a label. But I only gave it attention because of the fact it didn't feel like a choice to me, it felt like the way I was hardwired.

Well honestly, I see that as more of just the way people are different than a sexuality. I honestly feel the same wa! I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone unless I knew them closely first. I've been in one relationship in my lifetime with a person I've known for almost eleven years. I've known plenty of people that I've found attractive or have been in some way fond of, but I wouldn't want to date them unless we got super close. I think that's just the way I am, and file it in the same drawer as the other "Things That Make Me Me".

Also I totally don't want it to seem like I'm saying "HARGLEBLARGLE STOP LABELIN YERSELVES N SHADDUP" I'm just kinda talkin bout point of view and sharing some thoughts on the whole thing. People can refer to themselves however they want and that is fine by me!

I totally get that vibe from you, don't even stress it.

I don't really feel like it needs to be a label either, but at the same time, a label let's people know what you are?

people could also just, you know, get to know you

i mean that's how you want them to know who you are. not by how many syllables you can use to describe who you bone.