AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I've been getting overly upset while playing games with friends. It's making people not want to talk to me.

When people don't want to talk to me, they don't want to play games. When they don't want to play games, I get rusty since I have nobody to play with. When I get rusty, I get really frustrated when I can't do anything right because I just can't retain properly muscle memory for game input, and that returns right back to square one.

I don't see why I have to constantly watch what I say for fear of making someone else unhappy when everyone else gets to say whatever they want with complete disregard to how it will affect my feelings.

about five years ago i worked at an animal shelter, and at the time it was going through a serious medical crisis brought on by a former employee. the place was horrendous. one particular cat i became close to and i promised that i would get her out of there as soon as i could.

when i got married, i went check up on her and was told she'd been adopted.

today i found out she hadn't.

and i want to go to the shelter and take her away right now (for the record, the place has cleaned up,) but i already have two cats and two fosters and i dont think kyle will be okay with a third cat, especially with fosters right now, and im actually really...really upset

I didn't get the bank position because I'm fucking worthless to everyone.

You are not! There's plenty of other jobs out there, just keep looking. Rejection is, unfortunately, just part of the job hunt process.

Be sure to tell everyone you know you're looking for a new job. ...except the people you're currently working with. Just keep applying, even to jobs you're not sure you're qualified for. You never know.

So I'm a shitty friend and I forgot I was gonna hang out with friends tonight. I guess my excuse is that I've been feeling kinda foggy all day, and since I'm housesitting my daily routine is all fucked up. I told them I wasn't feeling well, which is sort of true. But mostly I'm just the worst.

Having a rough time adjusting to living 2000 miles away from all the family and friends I grew up with for ~20 years.

Don't really have a good outlet for it right now so anon internet post works.

I've been full of self-doubt, regret, sadness, and a general feeling of incompetence ever since I woke up thirteen hours ago with just a few hours of sleep. I lied down attempting to return to my former unconscious state for eight hours to no avail. Every time I think about trying to be social, I feel like breaking down into tears and like there's just no reason for anyone to even bother caring that I happen to exist.

I want these uncharacteristic feelings to stop. They came out of nowhere and are interfering with my scripted role of "content internet dweller".

I'm a lazy piece of shit and am terminally incompatible with change, which means this "moving out" thing is getting dragged out to ridiculous lengths. In three days, I've moved a bed and half a wardrobe. That's it. What the fuck is wrong with me.

My sisters moved out of my parents' house ten years ago and their bedrooms is still full of their stuff. I still have a lot of stuff there too.

It's not that weird for the first move to go kind of slowly while you figure stuff out, given that you still live only a few minutes' drive from your parents' house, especially if you're kind of moving everything on your own. And I feel like most people on at least speaking terms with their parents end up with some old books and posters and blankets that remain stored at their parents' house on a semi-permanent basis.

yeah i haven't lived at home for...three? almost four years and i still have some stuff in their shed lol. my parents collected household items for me over years so when i got married i had furniture and dishes and stuff already...the problem is we had a 700 square foot apartment. now we live in a 3 bedroom trailer but there's still some things i don't have storage space for - mostly pet supplies for pets i don't have anymore (fish, rats, which i want to have again in the future but can't right now.) i think there's also some china in there too lol. but yeah if you're on ok terms with your parents dont worry too much about moving it all out...

it also helps that not living with my parents has GREATLY improved our relationship. a lot of why i got married so early is to get away from them and it worked out pretty daisies well so that's nice lmao.

It's not the items, exactly. I don't have a lot of stuff and most of it isn't vital anyway. The problem is how uncomfortable I am with actually going to live in another house, one that has nothing to do with family.

It's gotta happen and this is a better situation than I'll find anywhere else. I just have to get over the anxiety.

focus on how nice it'll be to have your own space and not having to deal with whatever it is about living at home that you hate! also very important: decorate. making the new place feel like "home" really really helps ease that anxiety, i found. but ultimately just time really is the key. congrats though!

I'm pretty afraid that I'm too boring and not worth getting to know as a result.

Like I could tell you all about my favorite games and shows but honestly who cares?