AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I've done really well in my English class all semester and had an A up until now. But recently I've just had no motivation and so I neglected a pretty big assignment and now have a C in the class. Gotta admit, I'm pretty annoyed with myself. Since I'm dropping out after this semester for a while, I pretty much have just given up on all my classes and it just sucks. I just want this semester to end. I don't even want to think what my GPA is. At least I'll be starting over next fall at a different school.

My roommate just made the decision to not return to campus next semester. It's probably the best choice for him, but I'm super bummed out by the realization that I'm not nearly as close with anyone else on campus.

My life is such a mess right now, it seems like it will never get better.

I feel sort of lonely and stuff right now. Think being at my dad's house I just don't feel the same as with my mom and sort of discouraging.

Also brother's clarinet broke at concert and he couldn't play and it seems like it was probably his fault it broke but it was a shame. We were hoping to see him, and I feel bad for him, and that he didn't look good out there because he couldn't play.

being in the military is nooooooooot for me

Tried to play a board game with my dad and brother but my brother was a complete booty about it from the minute we asked him until when we quit because he was going to make the whole experience shitty and was intentionally throwing the game.

I have feelings for my exes but I'm moving in with Tuxedo Mask soon and it's hard not being able to explain why I'm depressed or crying a lot because I'll be admitting to something really weird and creepy

I feel like I'll never find a group that's really into what I'm into and has time to do it. All my friends are really busy all the time, my new card group has lost the guy who invited me within a month, and none of my immediate family likes doing almost anything I like to do.

I got really emotional and yelled at a friend undeservingly.

Lemmy kilmister died. This makes me sad.

i dont even knoiw why but i cried for like half an hour

why am i so terible

foirtuneatley i was in the shower so nothing important got damp

yay

Edited because reasons.

what is it with kentucky and being full of bigoted shitbags and "chewbub" (as my brother calls them. teenagers who chew tobacco, because they walk up to you and say "g' a chew, bub?" when they want to bum some off of you) jerks

wow, thats fucking awful

Don't you have, like, miles of caves that you can throw these people in to never see them again?
Or at the very least have them be absolutely traumatized from stumbling around in darkness and absolute silence for a couple of days and not bother you again. The tour guide when I visited one said that happened between tours, once.

Not that I am trying to give ideas or anything.


I had my fair share of talking garbage piles, so I have a general idea of how it all feels. What makes it worse is that one of my teachers was a bully I had to deal with in school. Worst part was that she was part of the Special Education group, and she did not take lightly to students being unsure of what to do. I had the hardest time understanding the abstract concepts she was trying to convey through seemingly completely unrelated metaphors (and having later been diagnosed with Aspergher's, I finally figured out why).

My brother was also in her class. She would jab him in the back with a pen when he wasn't working fast enough (he turned out to be dyslexic), and these jabs left physical bruises on his back. She would occasionally grab my hand and force me to write using then most unholy of death grips, which left my hand hurting for the remainder of the day. She once dragged me into the principal's office while she was spending a week camping on the school roof with the librarian (school event reward for the students), and that awful teacher threatened to beat me with a paddle if I didn't learn anything.
Mom would have never authorized that.

Look, you can tell me I need to climb out of the box and think all day long, but I am not sitting in a box and it has nothing to do with writing a short story about a scientist on the moon. I won't understand this, Mrs. A! I'm cripplingly literal-minded!

The worst part of all of this was that the school refused to believe my family, even though Mom took pictures of my brother's bruises, because this teacher worked in the industry longer than all of them and was too respected. She later went on to become the Head of Special Education in the county school district and actually visited my new school after I left Elementary and moved to Middle.
No one understood why I was running and screaming when I saw her come through the door, nor did they believe me when I explained.

It really upsets me that there are probably still kids having to deal with her "teaching" methods. Unless she just up and died at some point (she wasn't young in the slightest and did not care about making enemies).

I think she is the leading cause of the majority of my self-esteem and my debilitating anxiety issues. When your school authority figures make you feel like trash, what does one expect you to think of yourself later on in life?