AWKWARD ZOMBIE

David Bowie is 68. I'm gonna pretty daisies sad when he dies. D:

Life hurts and i've lost my motivation to do anything.

Hello fellow sad members of the internet, sadkin.
Being out of college has left me feeling adrift, I don't have nearly as many friends now and I just don't know what to do with myself at home during the day when I'm not working, it feels very, very lonely. I am sad about that.

I have nothing to look forward to in my life. Absolutely nothing good has happened to me since college and it's not going to get better. I just want to go somewhere where no one will see me again and I can stop being a problem to everyone.

For the past several years when I've felt down, I've just kept the thought that "it'll be better eventually" in my head, and I've realized that it hasn't really gotten better at all since when I first started thinking that. Hopefully getting a job will help, but not sure what I'll do if it doesn't.

Turns out that a lot of my family has been talking down about me lately because of my decision to drop out of school. Just in time for me to have to see them for the holidays. woo.

I don't fucking belong anywhere.

Mom borrowed my tablet last night and her new kitten, named Loki, chewed through my USB keyboard's cable.
I only had it for four days.

Well he is the god of mischief...

Jake Roper of VSauce3 (if you don't follow the Vsauce channels you are making a big mistake) was recently diagnosed with cancer.



He's 28 years old, by the way. Here's hoping he makes it through this.

My grandmother died yesterday. I feel odd about it, because I feel almost nothing. But I am certainly worried about how everyone else will handle it, even her dog. It's really close to tearjerking that her dog seemingly couldn't handle it and apparently ran out of the room she was in. And it really, really feels like cruel fate that she died on her favorite holiday before she got to celebrate it at all. At least she said that she was pop flyin' with her life and wasn't that afraid of death because of that.

You're taking it so much better than I did when mine passed this summer, and I practically hated her by the time she was gone...

I hope your family copes well with your tragedy. Especially that dog. There's an old dog around here that's still waiting for its (long since passed) owner to come home, according to its current caretaker...

My German shepherd has had a trio of diagnoses in the last week that's going to make life painful for a while. She's been licking at her back paw for a while now and it's started to get swollen and infected; the vet figured it was just a small cut or something that nobody noticed, and now the dog's making it worse. Because of the pain of that, she's been favoring one back leg, which has resulted in her pulling the other and causing dysplasia. In a large breed that's always a risk but we hoped both of our dogs wouldn't be having hip issues. And then, completely unrelated, the vet noticed a cyst at the base of her tail. So in the near future, when she's knocked out for X-rays, the vet's going to remove that.

Update: I don't know if it's her medication or what but she is burping now and it is RANCID. Serious, chemical warfare type shit. She's going to be tried for war crimes if this keeps up.

I told one of my friends today that I was thinking of switching majors. When I told them to what major I was switching to all I got were 2 simultaneous "That's bullshit." One from some other dude that was a friend/acquaintance of his. I'm feeling really discouraged and don't really know what to do.

I don't want to be stuck with a profession I won't be pop flyin' with, but I also don't want to make a wrong decision, so it's very confusing.

It's better to realize your major is not the right one for you now than when it's too late to switch and it's okay to change your mind. Don't let other people's opinion make you feel bad about your choices.

Now that I'm not living in the mountains and can talk to everyone I want to talk to, I noticed that all my friends feel really distant, with, like, three exceptions.

It is finally just hitting me that I have been gone for over half a year. All that time feels like it wasn't so far apart now that I am back, but it seems like time has pulled everyone I cared about away...

All I could think about these past months was how much I missed all of my friends and how my social awkwardness and overwhelming anxiety with physical proximity to other human beings makes it impossible to have friends outside of the internet.
Now that I'm back, I've just felt... Forgotten, almost...

It doesn't feel good.