AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Urgh, I tried talking to him and he's just settled on the thought of "I'm 22 years old, I gotta do SOMETHING." He's aware that the path he's going down is sorrowful, sucky, and will ultimately make him have a midlife crisis where he'll try and go to college again for something he actually likes while he's working his booty off as a nurse. This sucks. I wish I could get really rich and get us a ton of cheddar so he could do all the stuff he wants to do like go to the CIA for nursing. I'm gonna work really hard to be the best at 3D Animation, too, so at least I can show him it's okay to selfishly go for dreams.

...okay, I gotta ask, is this some kind of cultural thing that you just accept your parents constant emotional abuse, or what? Because their behavior is incredibly toxic and you both need to get away from them

Probably..? I'm Filipino, so I have noticed a strong sense of family and religion within many of the other families I've met. And the Asian stereotype of being pressured into some medical career is so true in many cases that I've seen. I honestly wouldn't even see it as abuse until someone tells me because this is how I was raised and how I've lived my whole life. And even then, they'd have to go off of what I say, and my forum posts. That's kind of biased, right? I could be a brat and be selfish at home, but if one went off only what I posted, they might not think so because it's just my side.

Honestly my big brother probably could move out if he wanted, but we both have been raised thinking that we have to take care of our parents when they're old, and I know he has very strong feelings of wanting to do things for the good of the family. He wouldn't be able to go to college at all if he moved out, too.

I'm pretty sure I've explained my personal and financial situation as well quite a few times on the forum, so I don't think it bears repeating.. Idk, I still care about my parents, (to some small degree, I still want to please them), and I really want to go to college for 3D Animation, so.. I guess I'm just gonna keep sticking it out here.

Looking at this, I feel kind of bad. I don't want to seem as though I am still living with my family just for the cheddar for a college education. That's like some different and horrible kind of gold digger. :<

Just saying, like 99% of every thing you have ever said about your family is about how miserable they make you.

I failed both of my AP exams. I knew I had failed the Calculus one, but I thought I actually did pretty well on my History exam. Oh well.

I think I'm getting depressed or something. Probably not the clinical kind, but I do feel really unmotivated. I don't feel good about my art anymore, I just overall feel really down. I feel like I might feel a bit better if I got into a TV show or good game or something, but nothing seems appealing and I want to go buy a good game, but I also want to save my cheddar for college stuff.

It's weird, since I really felt good while I was at Anime Expo, but the energy pretty much immediately died as soon as I got home. I was looking forward to going home so I could draw and rest, but it seems it just made me feel bad.

Edit: I might just be super tired from the con, but it was going on well before the con. That might be just feels bad from being stuck at home though.

Everyone feels depressed every now and then, it's perfectly natural. It's when it lasts for too long that it becomes a real problem. So, here's hoping it passes soon for you mate.

What the fuck did I do to make my parents hate me, or least completely disregard my feelings about anything?

Even if I become proficient at writing sql code, I don't think I'll ever enjoy it. There must be people who like writing it, but I can't imagine that.

At this point I don't think it has anything to do with you.

I don't love it either but I found it got much more interesting after the second class since it became much more powerful. I wouldn't want to be a professional SQL-guy but I don't mind using it for programs.

I don't mind SQL at all, I've only had the Essentials class so far but it came fairly natural to me. I'd write some query and it almost magically returned the results I wanted. I was always a little surprised how well it turned out.

i just found out the two best friends group is gonna be at SGC this year

that's next weekend

i can't get off in time for that (well, i could, if my boss wasn't a hardass)

please someone just kill me

I'm not knocking on it. Compared to c++, it's easy and intuitive. It's just so.. unexciting.

So, I actually may not be able to attend college this year. I have enough financial aid to cover all of my costs, but they want me to pay my dues by the 24th(Cost of attendance minus Anticipated financial aid) and they don't include Work Study under the Anticipated Aid since it's basically a job. So that leaves me with a little over a $1000 that I have to pay by the 24th and I just have no way of doing that. I can divide that payment up into 4 separate monthly payments, but that's still an initial $250 that I don't have. I'm sending emails back and forth to try and work something out, but it doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to. My last bet is to try and get some of my aid disbursed early to make one of the first payments, but I'm not too sure I'll be able to.

It's so stupid to actually have the cheddar to go, yet not be able to go because I don't have it right this minute. I've put a lot of hope into going to college so that I could kinda start a new life and shit and now I just have no idea what to do. And it also means I'll have to stay in this God daisies shithole of a town.

And I can't even fucking cancel going to the daisies place without having to pay a fee for canceling my housing.

So fucking rustled right now, but mostly just sad. I feel like curling up into a ball and dying.

You can always take out a federal student loan. I know loans are kinda terrible but if youre confident you'll have the cheddar and it's only a (relatively) small amount you need, you'll be okay. Definitely talk to a financial aid advisor before doing anything like that, though.