AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted. Now the world gets even LESS educated, and as a result, those who type in text speak are hailed as the smartest people in the world.

I wish I could control time at my pleasure.

BAZINGA! Now everything is frozen in time whiles you can walk around a do whatever the hell you want but from being alone for so long you go insane

I wish this Salamence's stomach had wifi

(Not an answer to the wish)
But I said control time at my pleasure
keyword being CONTROL

Done! The Salamence's wifi connection cuts out every time the weather in a battle changes to rain or hail.

I wish I could see my friends again.

Zoop! They just can't see you

I wish I had a better laptop that didn't cut out in weather patterns
or the salamence throws me up, either or

The Salamence throws you up. But you are gruesomely disfigured by the effects of its stomach acid. Also you're naked.

I'd like to be Kamen Rider.

Granted, but your one of those guys who only has the power for the first episode before dying and passing it on.

I wish my college internet connection didn't suck.

Kazam! Instead of your college internet sucking, it now blows everyone away, very bodaciously, within a three yard radius within any router on campus!

I wish the next AZ comic would be posted earlier.

Granted, but this was Katie's last comic.
I wish that none of the wishes cam true, were changed, or had any actual effect on reality, as well as it didn't cause people to get upset over their wishes not being granted in any way.(is this to specific?)

Granted, but now you have a dick in your mouth.

I wish "Theory of Knowledge"-classes would just cease to exist.

Granted, but they are still required so now you can never continue.
I wish I didn't have that dick in my mouth that trygve put there

Granted, it has been moved to up in your butt.

I wish I could sacrifice one eye for the knowledge of everything.

Granted, you now have knowledge of everything, realize that many people hate you and the knowledge that constantly comes to mind happens to be all the crappy things.
I wish the only dick on my body, in my body, or within a yard radius of me was my own, and my own penis is fully working and in the normal area for a penis to be. the size is also what mine normally would be.

Granted, but it won't attach to your body.

I wish for the sun.

granted, its to close to the earth and everyone dies
I wish this wasn't a dick size +1 thread.