AWKWARD ZOMBIE

So I smashed by hand against something like four seconds ago and there is already a surprisingly dark bruise. I've never bruised this quickly before.

I think it's gonna be a while before I go out drinking again.

My feet hurt really bad. Standing around for 7 hours a day is painful.

Get some gel inserts for your shoes. They made a huge difference when I was on my feet for eight hours at a time during my Toys R Us holiday stint.

I want to go back to therapy but I can't because I can never actually open up and talk to the therapist

I can't talk to doctors, I can't talk to my parents, I can't talk to my friend, I can't talk to anybody

Going to therapy and saying very little might still be better than saying nothing at all. You could also try keeping a diary, if you want.

Heath related:
Visited the psychiatrist again, got some new meds, the vitamin D supplement (which is apparently like 500 time the dosage of an over-the-counter supplement, but only taken once a week) and an antidepressant.

Saint ventures into the wonderful world of brain-drugs, hooray?

I'd be kinda horrified if I had to take any kind of medicine that affected my brain such as anti-depressants. I'm really not okay with anything that affects my behavior which is why I don't really drink either. Luckily I'm pretty level-headed and not moody so I doubt I'll ever have to take any.

Which is kinda ironic because Finns have a history of alcohol and anti-depressants.

What if your fear of antidepressants is caused by depression

Yeah that stuff kinda worries me too, but I trust the doctors.

I'm sort of on a trial run of it anyway, just a low dosage to see if anything changes. Lately my low energy and mood have been bad enough that I'm willing to give it a try, especially since it's been affecting my schoolwork drastically. I really hope it'll be helpful.

When my depression hit I didn't start to feel like myself again until after I started taking anti-depressants. I don't really get where the hate comes from

The side effects can include seizures, worse depression, worse anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc etc.

I'm not terribly worried, but I can understand the hesitation, I felt the same way before going to the doctor. The brain is a mysterious thing and it's usually best not to tamper with how it works unless the benefits outweigh the risks.

oh shit I forgot about those. This is what I get for writing while tired. Sorry about that
Aren't the chances of those side-effects happening really slim though?

Not from what I've heard. The only drug I've had to take with serious side effects was anti-acne stuff and it dried up my skin for those 8 months. Luckily it worked.

The chances are pretty slim unless you're predisposed to have them due to the way the drug works. For example my doctor said she can't prescribe this particular drug to people prone to seizures or have had bulemia or other eating disorders because it makes those worse, but I didn't have those problems so I don't have to worry about those. Different drugs work in different ways so someone with those problems would get a different prescription.

The doctors know what they're doing, I'm not too worried about side effects.

A question for you all: How out of shape are you?

I jogged in place for like 15 seconds and was out of breath I should probably do something about that after finals.