AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I hate how I'm always horniest just before or just after my period.

I think the period thing is normal. I heard it was something to do with that time being the best time for conception.

I always heard the best time for conception was in the middle of the cycle, when a woman ovulates. I mean people say that's when a woman is the most fertile, so...

^ it is this. Right after your period is when your uterus is preparing itself again and conception is hard. And it takes a couple of days for the egg to move into the uterus, so it's very hard to become pregnant right before your period too, as by the time the egg makes it down there won't be anything to latch onto and it's just flushed out with everything else.

I would assume that the libido increase right before/after is attributed to hormones changing around. I just got off my girly times and I am extremely horny as well. Luckily I have someone I can sex up, yay~

I would have someone to sex up. BUUUUT.....

There's a few problems of distance. and cheddar. and time.
so.
:U 53 odd days.
then all the sex
all the sex ever.

But Alas. For now..
My Fingers and vibrator will have to do. :I

i can't remember the last time i had my period so i can't tell if i'm late or not

I am learning something new everyday.

Oh dear god my tiddies hurt so much

it feels like they've been beaten and bruised

I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at work today while I was on my break. I was eating lunch and listening to the radio. I was bored and absent-mindedly eating while also trying not to fall asleep.

My mind wandered. Wandered into sexy thoughts.

A few seconds later I realized that I was slowly chewing my McDonald's food while I had a raging erection.

Ahahahahha, people who have any semblance of regularity to their cycles.




Try not knowing aside from a 3 week to 3 month window.

My roommate went home for the weekend and he's not coming back until tomorrow night.
I'm sleeping naked tonight.

woo!

Okay so I got up this morning, went to get some coffee, I slip on cat shit in the middle of the floor because my cat is old and apparently senile

fall onto the futon, face-first
fall onto the wooden, hard, square arm of the futon, nuts-first
it has been bodaciously like 18 hours and I still can't walk straight

guys i think any chance i had at having kids just shattered along with my testicles

I was about to post something
But it would look pretty weird right after that post.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I thought that eating made hangovers better but oh no I feel worse. And my water bottle tastes like absolute hell which doesn't help.