AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Heard a song today that I haven't listened to in a long time, and it took me back to when I was first starting university. Then I got to thinking about how it's been 5 years since that day and how I've done nothing with the skills I learned, even though my tutors were often encouraging me to make new animations and enter my work in festivals and things. I animated a grand total of one thing last year and I dunno, I just feel really bad that my tutors were so supportive of my work and I'd developed my skills so much and now I'm just... wasting those 3 years I spent learning how to do this. I feel like they were expecting good things from me and I'm just letting them down.

I failed my classes a second consecutive time

My dad is going to be disappointed.

I could get kicked out of school. In fact it's pretty much guaranteed.

My life is over.

I hate everything.

I can say from personal experience that your life isn't over yet. Parental disappointment will probably happen, yeah, but you'll have more opportunities to get back to school and have a good career.

If there's anything I learned from college, it's that failure is always an option.

Your life isn't over, it's just that that particular path in life didn't work out. You can always pick yourself back up and find a new direction to go in. Whether that's different classes, a different school, or just a different career path outside of school.

Yo whaddup random anxiety.

I wonder if its about my job, it's great an all but because it's part-time and pretty exhausting I guess I'm having a hard time feeling like it's the right fit for me. I mean, it's definitely a temporary job but I dunno how long I'll be there? And I don't want to think of it as temporary because I want to do a good job while I'm there. Hopefully I can talk to my career counselor soon.

Some fucking birthday.

I feel dead inside.

I have already begun stockpiling beef jerky and sugar saturated drinks.

Was looking at this photocollage of terminally ill patients just before and after death, and each photo had a little blurb about who they were and their thoughts leading up to their death. So now I'm super sad and depressed as hell.

They all just looked like they went to sleep and never woke up again. Which I guess is true after a fashion

Alright, I'll get on preparing the posters and our wrestling outfits.

Morning DJ for my favorite radio station passed away Saturday afternoon. He did the show with his son for the past few years, I can't even imagine how hard it will be for him to come back to work.

Apparently the reason for me getting placed in a different shop wasn't that they have too few employees, but that I'm apparently such a shitty apprentice and the supervisor hopes that the boss there can make something out of me, otherwise I'm "not eligible for the company".

That was yesterday. And today I got to hear that one of my dogs had a malignant growth on his leg, but it's already so deep down in his flesh/muscle, the doctor couldn't get it out, and he absolutely can't tell how long he still has left. My dog is only 4 or 5 years old.

Tomorrow I'm going to my appointment with a lawyer, what's next this week, that he's going to tell me I'll have 0 chances at all in court and I'm going to have to pay 2400€?

I miss Airra. Haven't seen her around the forums lately. Well, last time we heard from her she was using a mobile device to connect so I assume something happened to that. Still miss her though

You and me both. Airraaa come baaaack

Called in sick today. Just feel blah.

Why am I always so bad at noticing people leaving? I didn't notice Wry Bread, Airra or you disappear, I just kinda looked back later and was like, 'huh, so they vanished.' So whenever anyone comes back I feel kind of narrow minded because I've practically forgotten them by then.

...now I miss Wry Bread.