AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i am pretty delicious

that song is so strange

Why are you so expensive.

Quality doesn't come cheap.

hey thats a downright lie

espolon tequila is 20 bucks for either gold or silver and its taste rivals (actually its a shit ton better) patron which is 50-60 easily

I need to come up with a reliable way to procure alcohol

because I am in love with drinking.

But you're 18-OH HAHA

*sobs quietly*

I've tried wine before when my parents let me finish off one of their glasses. It is tolerable in tiny sips but it is still a little too strong for me, I think!

I love the fruity smell of the cork, though.

I've bought alcohol twice during the 10 months I've been eligible to do so

tequila is so foul goddamn

all of it

HA HA America.

I still find it mind boggling that Americans aren't allowed to drink alcohol until 3 years after they're allowed to vote.

Aren't they also allowed to learn to drive at about 15 years old or something?

That's six years before they're allowed to drink.

Being a poor college student who can also appreciate some inebriation, I have some experience with cheap alcohol. Although I usually go for incredibly cheap beers that you can only get here (like, cheaper than bottle water cheap). In my experience though, as long as the beer is cold enough, it's drinkable.

But perhaps you're not much of a beer guy. In that case, vodka is probably the way to go. When making cocktails, the quality of the booze used usually doesn't matter much. The cheapest vodka I've found so far was Vodka brand vodka, which was like 6 euro a bottle (70 cl). A bottle of vodka can land a single man in the hospital, so you should be settled with that and a bottle of coke, although I usually prefer orange juice. Drink it pure if you don't care about taste, but I'd advise some ice cubes, unless you're doing shots.

Protip: get a bowl of gummy bears, fill it with vodka and let it stand for hours or more. The gummy bears will transform into pure awesome.

Or make a black/white russian.

black
2 shots vodka, 1 shot coffee liquor (if you don't have that I guess cold coffee with a bit sugar will do too), stir, pour over ice cubes.

white
the same but on top you pour 2 shots of cream, lightly whipped, don't stir.

shots of sambuca taste like liqourice fire