AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Feeling generally awful about my personality for indescribable reasons. Likely without logical cause. I don't know how to make it stop.

Think about whatever other horrible douchebags you know and realize that you're 50 times better than them. For no other reason, you're better than most douchebags because you care whether or not you're a douchebag.

It's a bit more existential than thinking I'm rude or something. In fact, I'd say I'm the eleventh nicest person I know, losing many points for sarcastic remarks at my close friends' expense.

I got over it, though. But thanks for the thought.

My crush lives 2,800 miles away and tonight has been nothing but a whirlwind of songs that remind me of him
The internet did this to me

Mind if I ask where you and your crush live? That's a hell of a long way.

Also hooray for long distance crushes. loud, screaming tears

Maryland to Washington. He's almost as far away as he can get while remaining in the continental USA. I got to be with him in person during Magfest, but that's just making the distance even worse right now.

My irl friends constantly post pics from their near weekly trips to Disneyland and it kinda has me moping. Granted, they know I don't like Disneyland and don't invite me, but they seem ti hang out there much more often than I get to hang out with them. I'm glad they're pop flyin', I just wish I had someone to watch wrestling with.

All of my friends are talking about how they are playing Smash, Monster Hunter and Mabinogi. I can only sit here with a phone that barely works and listen to the tales of fun.

My friends are either not into gaming or not into the same multiplayer games as I am. I got used to it.
It's still odd to be really into something when friends aren't.

If I ever come over to the US, I'll get snacks and crap and we'll watch wrestling until the sun comes up

I had always wanted friends that would invite me out to do things. Apparently all my friends (Including myself) are too busy and poor to hang out. I guess it makes the occasional evening together all the more worth while.

Wait who has the cheddar to go to Disneyland near-weekly? What kind of crazy member discounts they givin' out over there?

Also, the vast majority of my close friends have all moved away to various places. I have some not-that-close friends I hang out with occasionally, but usually just for parties and the like. Luckily I have Brock from Cockfighting Society to play video games with me. I could kinda use a girl friend to go shopping for clothes with, though.

I would absolutely go clothes shopping with you if we lived anywhere near each other, Saint.

Mostly because I think I'll need help when the time comes for me to go clothes shopping.

Hahaha, well if you're ever in the Dallas area, give me a holler, we have too many malls around here.

Disclaimer: I might not be the girliest girl to help pick out girly clothes with. ...I really could use more dresses and skirts though.

Don't know really where else to put this but its kind making me sad so I guess I'll put it in here.

I have felt stressed beyond belief the fast few days. Whether its from my "womanly problems" or just the huge stack of school work, i dunno. My current guess is probably both.

There is also that feeling of impending doom that decided to hang around, so that's nice. I'm also worried about summer coming because summer means me having to say goodbye to a lot of wonderful friends I've made this year and I'm not ready for that to happen.

I just...... I don't know... I really just need a shoulder to cry on and for a wizard to come and finish my school work.

Sorry for wasting your time with this obligatory post. Have a nice day I guess.