AWKWARD ZOMBIE

GRanted, but it's all counterfeit and you're arested.

I wish my friend would talk to me.

Granted, but then your friend proceeds to consume your soul.

I wish I could find someone else from Alabama in the internets.

Granted, but it turns out that the Alabamanian is actually a fugitive. You get arrested for fraternizing with the criminal.

I wish this POD report was shorter.

Granted, but you don't have school ever again. Because you're dead.

I wish that I didn't have to type up all this stupid homework while also still being alive and not failing it/losing it.

Granted, but now you must hand write every thing in illuminated manuscript style.

I wish Twilight would GTFO my fandoms, the mafia and Twilight have nothing to do with one another

Granted, but in its place, Aliens begin running Amok. daisies X-files, amirite?

I wish I were sexier.

Granted, but the writing is poor quality and ends up with all characters becoming Mary-sue's.

I wish I had a new face.
(THEY ATE MY FACE)

Granted, but it's made of chocolate again. It gets eaten.

I wish I had a new cell phone.

Granted

I wish my computer was fast enough to play some decent games.

Granted, but it's a mac, so nothing works anyways.

I wish I wasn't hungry anymore.

Granted. But you ate a bucket of nails.

I wish my computer wassent Ubuntu.

Granted. It's now Fedora Red-hat.

I wish I had some manly chest hair.

With that chest hair you are now more than a man!



I wish I had some decent candy to eat...I'm craving something slightly sour yet sweet to the taste.

Granted, but it melted in my hand, so if you want it you have to lick it off of something.

I wish I had a special type of grenade which, when detonated at my feet, would send me flying into the air without any of the pesky "blown to tiny pieces"-type side effects.

granted but you fly into a helicopter.

I wish I had a car