AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted.. (Am I allowed to post again?)

But you go paralyzed for life.

I wish I could teleport.

You teleport into somebody by mistake.

I wish I could program.

Granted, but you are now deathly lactose intolerant.

I wish I could build a Gothic church style building to live in.

Edit: daisies POST SNIPED.

Granted. But then it falls in around you.

I wish it wasnt so cold here at night.

Granted, but it's been watered down.....with Mexican Water.

I wish My back didn't hurt so much.

granted, but now your front hurts

I wish I could learn how to cook

Granted, but you're stuck with making dinner for other people from now 'till eternity.

I wish I could understand the game Dwarf Fortress.

Granted, but now you get beat up for your lunch cheddar every day.

I wish that I had a Zoltar machine so that I could wish that I was big.

granted. But after you wish to be big, you get too big and your mass crushes the universe.



I wish ToS: Dawn of the New World was longer. D:

Granted. But now it's so long it takes your entire life to complete. You die before you complete the game.

I wish my parents would turn down the volume of the TV.

Granted. But when your parents try to turn the volume down, it becomes mute and the volume buttons fall out and the wires explode due to magic.

I wish I could get FE Shadow Dragon.

Granted, but then it turns on you and destroys your one true love, cheese.

I wish Starseed would come back.

Granted, but she comes back with a vengance.

I wish that the stupid bagel meme would go away.

Granted, but now some other more stupid meme crops up.

I wish this nagging cough would stop. 8/

Granted, but when you jump into the freshly fallen snow, you just landed in the yellow snow.

I wish I could get real cheddar for my art.