AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I mean, people I can go out with. To a party, to the movies, to a concert, anything.

I have tons of acquaintances, people I talk to at work, at theatre, at football, but I never get invited anywhere, nobody texts me telling me to go to their party, or to just come hang out.

I don't feel like a friend to these people, only somebody to maybe talk to and maybe laugh with, but never hang out.

A girl I liked at church invited me to a pool party on the hottest day since the dust bowl and I never went.
Why am I so retarded??

Edit: this was a sloppy relation to badfish but im too lost now to relate it the way I wanted. I apologize.

I feel the same way all the time, Badfish. Are you in contact with the people that you want to be closer to often? As in talking to them on the phone and online, not just seeing them around. That's a good way to make plans with others, because if you talk a lot you usually know what both of you are up to and can do together.

And another thing, I'm generally an independent guy, so it doesn't bother me too much.

But fuck, I'm human, I'm 16, I still long for social interaction, but when you're sitting at a computer late Saturday night knowing your classmates, associates, acquantinces, are out having fun, that's what depresses me the most.

But, if I am going to be online so often, why not make friends here. I mean, I have like 3500+ post right? But I can never call anybody here my friend, and you know what? That's my fault, I'm not out-going enough, I never reply creatively or funny enough, I never made a groundbreaking, entertaining thread. These are really my problems, people have made much more of an impact off 100 post in a week then the year and months I've been here, I don't blame anybody for that.

But this is the strange thing, I'm shy around you people. I mean, sweat running down me, lip stammering, fingers shaking nervous. And I feel that why because, well, I just don't feel like I belong here. So I put on a facade to try to disguise myself, to seem like the average AZ-er (whatever that is).

But I'm not, hell, I don't even like MS Paint adventures that much. I find myself going "what the hell is this" most of the time when I see a thread or read a discussion.

I don't feel like somebody here, I can barely relate to most people here. I don't like anime, I don't care too much for the newest videogame, only a small contingent of people here follow sports.

I'm nervous because I was already banned from this place once. (This is a multi'd account, any proletariats could check my IP, I guess, this was way long ago before the rules were put on board and the forum was switched. If it still warrants a ban, then so be it, but I said this a couple other times and nobody cared) so I was petrified of how to act after that that I lost all sense of a personality. Admit it, when you look at my post you don't see anything worthwhile, or funny, or smart. The overall feel I get is "meh". I went to tinychat twice, both times I was either incredibly quiet or wasn't interesting in the slightest.

I really want to be your friend AZ, really, you are all interesting and amazing. But for whatever reason I can't. I'm not blaming any of you, please, let me make that very clear. But after one and a half years of trying, I'm just tired of it.

I'm not "quitting" (I find that term stupid), I just feel, I dunno, defeated in a way. I can't make friends in the real world, ok, a lot of people can't or don't. Those people can usually find friendship online, but apparently I can't. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by saying this, I don't feel any better for doing so, I feel weak and exposed, but it is how I feel.
Thanks to the 3 people who will actually read this.

TL;DR= I feel alone and nobody will be my friend, even online, and I'm just like fug it, maybe I'm not suppose to have friends.

Badfish, that's a normal feeling for someone in your situation

I felt like that not too long ago too. Like I had no friends in the world and no one really cared about me. I did the same "internet facade" thing you're doing now.

The problem is that you want to be everybody's friend. You can't do that. It was what I tried and it didn't work. A few months ago I decided to myself that I'd pick a random stranger and I'd be their friend. It worked out. Someone I hardly knew a few months ago is one of my closest friends now. It's so much simpler than you think, once you start focusing on the individuals, not the groups.

Well then how did the other people here do it? How is Spoony and Yanimae loved and adored by everyone? How can you break into this community?

I'm sorry Mander, I'm really really thankful, I'm just so sick of everything.

Spoony and Yanimae got where they were by focusing on individuals too.

Do Spoony's regular rants of homosexual caps-lock fueled passion stray to more than two or three targets? Do Yanimae's clever apple doodles respond to more than one topic at once?

No. They got to be so popular because they had a good time with one or two people, and the rest of us were around to watch. It works that way in real life social situations as well.

if you see somebody you like/think they're cool, PM them and say 'hey' or whatever.

it's not up to them to talk to you

I never said it was up to anybody here, I also said I completely blame myself for the situation.

I was asking how some of the most influential people here have gotten to where they are. I honestly don't know where you got the idea of I want people to talk to me first.

But thank you, Mander, really. I'll try it these next few weeks and see where it goes. Much appreciated.

Hey man, I'm not loved and adored on this forum all that much as far as I know, and I don't really stand out beyond being a smart booty and having a million men at my feet constantly. It's all about being outgoing. Don't stress it so much. People can sense desperation, and know when you're trying waaaaaay too hard to be witty and interesting. It's like a guy showing up to a BBQ wearing a tux.

Just be yourself. I'm sure you're a cool guy.

Why do you always use me in your examples

Because you're a fucking faggot.

AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A SEXUAL FETISH FOR THE NUMBER EIGHT

THE FUCK, MAN

WHAT DO THE NUMBER 8 AND A WOMAN HAVE IN COMMON

TWO HOLES

wait what's the other hole