AWKWARD ZOMBIE

how to put on perfume properly:

spray it in the air in front of you

walk through it

should be strong enough to smell without being overwhelming

DO NOT ADMINISTER TO ANUS

I cannot stress this enough

To all perfume/lotion/deodorant users: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT apply your shit in a crowded or enclosed area with other people. That is just a dick move to make everyone in a locked position have to taste Eau de Jackass for the duration of their stay.

One reason I despise perfume is that my mom has environmental asthma. She has trouble breathing if anyone wearing scented products gets near her. Perfume, lotion, spray deodorant, all of that. What's really infuriating is when people know this and come close anyway because they think their smell is "light" and then proceed to ruin her day. Perfume salespeople are some of the worst offenders at this when they come out of nowhere and try spritzing us.

Perfume sales people exist!?

Voice of experience?

Am I allowed here?
I would love to learn the tricks on mastering the captivating of the d.

People do this?

assholes do

Protip for sprays an' stuff: No matter how long you use it, use the same amount. You eventually get used to it, and unless you're careful you'll end up using too much to get the same amount of scent to you, but not anyone else.
Limit to an amount of spritzs, not strength.

Don't apply to your asshole, and don't apply, you asshole.

I try not to use sprays on a regular basis just so I don't get used to it.

All I ever use is some raspberry vanilla spray though. I have some perfume I got as a present for my 16th birthday but I've used it maybe once.

It's Britney Spears
fabulous.gif

Hm, I can see why you're reluctant to use that. What does it smell like by the way?

Honestly it's not that bad. I try to ignore the celebrity brand.

It's kinda sweet I guess, but not in a fruity or sugary way. I want to describe it as fresh and clean, but it's a bit stronger than that. I wouldn't pick it out, but it was a nice gift.

TIL it's hard to describe smells over the internet.

Well all I can say is the sooner you use it, the soon you can move onto other scents.

I ended up leaving my spray on kitty magnet at my parents house when I visited during winter, so all I've been able to rock lately is Irish spring aloe body wash (it makes my skin feel good). Haven't exactly gotten any complaints.

Then again people could also be being polite.

Also, as a biology student, I feel the need to ask the question of if it's bad we feel the need to suppress our natural man funk.

I mean...it's not to try and justify not trying, it's just that it's SUPPOSED to be there TO attract the opposite sex...yet it's shunned. Usually when that sort of thing happens, it's considered "maladaptive"...which is bad.