AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted. Nothing happens ever again. ever. The world is stuck in a stasis for the rest of eternity.

I wish that I was in the waterpark with Shoolis and his friends and my friends already.

Granted, you all drown.

I wish there was more time in the day.

Granted, Everybody's name is now Time.

I wish I could have telepathy.

Wish granted, but the only stipulation is that you can only communicate with extremely annoying people.
You know the ones.


I wish I had some carrot juice.

Granted, but it's rotten.

I wish I could find someone to teach me how to dougie. That video taught me nothing.

Granted, but now you ONLY know how to dougie.

I wish my earlobe would stop itching.

Granted, Mike Tyson breaks down the door and bites your ear off.

I wish I had a fish.

Granted. The fish bitchslaps you. Where the fuck is it's cheddar. You got the only pimp-fish in the universe.

I wish Minecraft would run decently on my computer.

Unfortunately, the upgrades required put your family out several thousands of dollars, which makes you abruptly spiral into debt. You eventually decide to end it all when the hole becomes too big and you can't even feed your relatives.

i wish I had a pet bee who could do no harm.

Granted, the bee's pop flyin' nature gets on the nerves of some angry Japanese wasps that swarm together and sting you and your bee to death.

I wish I had someone to play xbocks with.

Granted, but it RRODs
I wish my stomach didn't hurt so often

Granted. You now get migraines every single day.

I wish this sandwich wasn't soggy.

Granted, it is now a brick of a sandwich

I wish there was no such things as wishes

Granted. Now that people know no mystical power is going to make their wishes come true, a lot of them lose hope. Suicide rates raise rapidly.

I wish I wasn't browsing the forum right now.

granted. you switch computers with galaxy man, and now nothing works, including forums.

i wish pokemon was less like an rpg and more like a beat 'em up. tekkenmon.



okay, this might actually be a grantable wish. is your computer unfixably old? or do you just not have enough ram? because ram isn't super expensive, but minecraft being in java: it eats a lot of it.