Quote:
I feel like I'm losing my passion for everything. Nothing really gets me fired up anymore. I'm just drifting along without trying to make a difference in my life, and that attitude makes me angry with myself. But I simply don't care enough to try to change things.
This. So much. Recently it's been going better because my life has been pretty good, and I try to keep challenging myself so much that pure stress and adrenaline keep me going. It's kind of a subconscious thing, I always skip classes, never study and postpone projects until the last possible second, without even wanting(probably also my maybe having ADHD). But I must admit the thrill of a death line that seems impossible to meet makes me feel alive man. I also enjoy doing semi-extreme sports for that reason.
Now this is something I've never told anyone, not even my trusted friends: one time, when I was about 13 years old I think, I attempted suicide(a real sloppy attempt, but none the less). My only reasons being: not wanting to study for my exams, not seeing the point of life and wondering what the afterlife is like. I often wonder what shrinks would say about me, but my surroundings don't suspect anything and I don't want to burden them. I'm better now though, just living life for the heck of it and also for gaining a fear of death.