iconsting wrote:
How do you turn a Trombone into a french horn?
[spoiler]Put your hand in the bell and miss all the notes.[/spoiler]
Such
dickery.
Anyways, there was the old man who loved to gamble, and he won every bet he ever made. He was rich due to this, but for some reason, he never paid his taxes. Well, he got in trouble with the IRS, so they wanted to talk to him.
The old man goes to the tax collector's office with his lawyer. He approaches the tax collector and the lawyer sits back and watches. The tax collector is about to talk to him, but the old man cuts him off. "Listen," he says, "I'd like to make a bet with you. I'll bet you five-hundred dollars that I can bite my eye."
The tax collector chuckles at him and says, "You've got a deal."
So, the old man pulls out his glass eye, nibbles on it, and pops it back into his head. The lawyer starts looking pretty dumb. "I'll let you off easy," the old man says. "I'll make another bet; double or nothing. I bet you that I can bite my other eye." The tax collector accepts.
So, the old man pops out his false teeth and nibbles on his other eye. "Okay, really, I'll strike you another bet. Triple or nothing, just 'cause I like you. I bet you that I can stand on your desk, and pee into that." He points to a trash can about twenty feet away from the desk.
The tax collector agrees, confident that he'll win this one.
The old man hobbles on top of his desk and starts whizzing all over it. "Yes!" the tax collector yelled. "You crazy old man, I've beaten you!" He looks over to the lawyer, who is on the verge of tears. "Hey, what's the matter? I won, you should be pop flyin'!"
"No," the lawyer says. "I'm not."
"Why?" he asks.
"He bet me six grand that he could piss on your desk and make you like it."