AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Bear, dead, you get it.

Driving around with the girlfriend and her family the other day. EVA-01: "Hey dad, you gonna take us to Olive Garden?"
Dad: "Why?"
Gf: "It's your's and mom's anniversary."
Her dad: "OH FUCK"

My senior year, I took Chem AP with my Chem teacher from my Junior year teaching. She's got a doctorate and used to be a college professor, so she was always very professional but personable. She would work with everyone in the class on a case by case basis if possible, so I was looking forward to having her in Chem AP where we had 5 people in the class rather than 35. On the very first day of class, we were all sitting in the classroom, all of us knew each other and all of us had her the year before, and waited for her to come into the classroom (she had hall monitor duty right outside the classroom). When class started, she came into the room and immediately says "Oh FUCK!".

We were all shocked because we had never really heard a teacher swear (except my Sophomore English teacher, but he was only like 25, and was a pretty laid back guy) and least of all we didn't expect HER to swear.

So we asked her what was wrong. Turns out she left her Dr. Pepper in the teacher's lounge down the hall and had to go back for it. I guess she realized we were all shocked by her swearing, so before she left to go get it, she said "Oh don't worry, I know all of you. I don't have to hold back, if that's okay with you guys."

That year was fucking great.

A close friend of mine works as a nurse in a psychiatric institute, and I could share a lot of his stories. But this one immediately made me think of you guys.

So there's one guy there who thinks he's a wolf. I'm pretty sure this is not just a upstanding member of society, but a guy who actually thinks he's currently a wolf. He actually has Wolverine's sideburns too. So the guy was in a room with a 4 m or so high ceiling, with a camera attached to said ceiling. My friend and some other nurses come in to escort him to his room. And he's just standing in the middle of the room. Holding the fucking camera in his hands. There wasn't a ladder or anything, goddamn mystery how he got up there. Anyway, they say "Hey dude, you want to come back to your room with us?" and he answers "Y-yeah, sure". They start walking him back, but suddenly he turns around and bites one of the nurses square in the neck. Tore right through his t-shirt, nasty looking wound. The nurses immediately try to restrain him, but they're struggling until he notices my friend. "Heh heh, you look like Harry Potter" he says, and he completely calms down.

This reminded you of us?

... Should we be offended?

I have wolverine sideburns.
The transformation begins, snikt bub

He thinks we're all wolves.

this thread is basically made for me, give me a genre or something and i'll probably have a story to do with it

homo

no, too personal

homoerotic

hetereoerotic

Something scary.

ok once i was camping in the back garden with a friend, and the neighbours were playing general pop like cheryl cole or something in the background and we were all "laugh laugh cheryl laugh". Anyways, a few minutes later it stopped and was replaced by piano

not a piano recording

some slow, creepy piano person playing it at like 1 o clock in the morning

So my cousin Jesse, our friend and Kyle and I were outside this burrito place and Kyle was telling us how the German and Romantic languages are actually connected in a super big language family called the Proto-Indo-European family.

"Proto-Indo-European...that sounds like some kind of hipster music genre"

"...by God you're right."