AWKWARD ZOMBIE

All my relationships have been online/far distance ones. Only one of them turned into more, we're not together anymore though but we still live in the same house.

My first boyfriend was also the worst breakup so far.

Dated one guy when I started school last year. He was really a nice guy and everything, but we really didn't have enough in common to sustain a longer relationship. I broke up with him when he was studying abroad, because I kind of just wanted to be dating while he wanted a relationship. Glad that it happened, though, because I learned a lot and found that I'm actually pretty good at making mature decisions when it comes to dating.

This past school year was like the most cliched shitty teen romance novel for me.

A girl I first met briefly about three years ago (we'll called her Elizabeth) joined a club I was in, turns out we both read Homestuck so that was a starting point. Developed a huge crush for her over the first half of the year, but with suspicions that she was in a lesbian relationship with one girl she was nearly always with (We'll call her Alexis).
Over Christmas break, we all started talking on tumblr and 'Alexis' turns out to be cool.
Because I'm sort of terrible I start crushing on 'Alexis' as well (and kind of almost instead), and we actually share more interests and get along better. In mid february, everything takes a turn for the hella cliched:

- My entirely baseless suspicions of 'Elizabeth' being into women turn out to be true
- She's dating 'Alexis'' cousin
- And now I'm kind of mostly dating 'Alexis' ??? My feelings for her are reciprocated but she's worried about relationships and doesn't really want to use labels like boyfriend and girlfriend, which I respect.

So it turned out really great in the end? We're all friends and it's cool.

Although now I think there's a weird ironic almost love triangle between myself, 'Alexis,' and a dude from school that I ironically hit on who seems to have a thing for 'Alexis' too? It isn't really a proper love triangle since the me/'Alexis' side is actually happening, but I kind of feel sorry for the guy since he doesn't actually know and probably sees me mostly as gay. Whoops.

Any attempt I've made to get into a relationship in real life has failed, so I'll just list my online attempts. The first four are from the community I was a part of before joining up here.

1. Girl from England, lied about her age; was really 12 when she said she was 14. I was 15-16 at the time.
2. Woman from Maryland, was 25 but we agreed age wasn't a big deal (lol); lied about being with someone and I broke it off. I was 16-17 at the time.
3. Minor fling type thing with a girl from California; was 16, I was 17 at the time.
4. Girl from Oklahoma, was kind of needy but not really overbearing (at the time); Was really untrusting and was always accusing me of crap in the later half of our relationship. I got fed up and broke it off. I was 17-18 at the time.
5. Girl from North Carolina, met over WoW; we really hit it off and are currently 'dating' (quotes because not physically together yet).

First girlfriend was super platonic. I mean hugs only, no emotion, super sucked but goddamn was she gorgeous. I tried my best, but she wasn't going for it. Now she's dating a pothead dropout so good choice there.
Also had a friends with benefits situation with a girl for a couple years. Ohohoho my was it exciting, but after awhile I wanted more, to date her. I was young, naive, didn't know it was a bad idea. At one point, she got a super controlling boyfriend, very aggressive, and I think that distanced her from wanting a real relationship. Now she's super into ball-joint dolls, lolita fashion, goes to almost every single animes con on the east coast, and owns a little etsy shop for making rave stuff. I think she had mental issues, no joke.
I've also run into the unfortunate problem where a lot of girls who I liked in High School now like me and have tried to hit me up. One came at me almost a day after she broke up with her boyfriend, another had actually been waiting for me to say something in high school and I had no idea (we had a brief sexual thing, but she was very teasing and I can't believe I'm saying this, but tusundre around me, but we were great friends.).

Now I've got Oracle, dating for a bit over two years now, planning to move her out here once I get into my buddys apartment. I'm very okay with leaving all that other stuff in the past, none of them ended well for me.

don't give up kids if you have trouble, you either fuck up a lot because you don't know better like me and eventually find someone great and makes you very pop flyin', or you hold the line
i said hold the line, you will stand your ground
glory to the first man to die

i haven't been on a date since I was...17 or something

yeah and like a few days after that i broke up with the guy
Partly because he wanted to make out and that majorly squicked me for the rest of the day for some reason
(I'm 20 now, for reference)

Though Chris and i are going to otakon this year (FINALLY)
And Chris is cool because unlike my ex-boyfriend he doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little by using cutesy words and stuff
though I don't think I'd mind if he did?? I'm just picky about that sort of stuff and prefer to be the initiator of affection.
I think I've been patient for quite enough time thank you very much

I've got a dating story.

One time I had a new coworker at the restaurant where I was sous-chef at the time, she was a waitress. I asked her out to go see a movie sometime and she picked The Chronicles of Riddick. This made me pretty pop flyin' because I was afraid she'd pick some chick-flick. I was 15 at the time and had no idea what I was on about.

At the theater I found out why she picked that specific movie. It wasn't because she was into that sort of movie, but because she had the hots for Vin Diesel and proceeded tell me all about how much she loved every part of him. Even then I didn't write her off.

About 10 minutes before the ending, the lens broke, so we had to be moved to a different hall. I figured it was no problem, but she immediately started calling her parents, saying she'd be about 15 minutes later and they started off calling her a liar and then phoning the theater to ask if it was true. She pretty much spent the rest of the night stressing the fuck out, even when I brought her home.

I don't think I could get into casual dating or even the usual system of Find attractive person, Go on date, Go on date, Wait X number of dates to be "official" or whatever. I'm the kind of person who could only be attracted to people I'm already pretty good friends with, so it kinda just evolves out of that friendship.

I haven't been in a relationship for a long long long time now though, in fact I only recently got over all the stuff I went through after the last one. Let's just say I convinced myself that something was there when it actually wasn't, and it took years to un-convince myself and get closure on that. The good news is that he's now one of my closest friends, and I'm really lucky to have someone that was willing to be there for me with all the crap I put myself through. Moral of the story: always be willing to patch up a friendship after a romantic relationship, but it'll probably take some work. Also don't be a crazy person like me and decide that somebody is The One when they're really not all that attracted to you. It won't go well.

Now I'm not really attracted to anybody, unless you count that one friend of mine who I always fake-flirt with, but he has a girlfriend and now I think I'm pretty good at knowing when there's not a chance. So really I'm just waiting for somebody to come along, I suppose.

I slept with a guy in March who I'm pretty sure I'd fallen in love with. Went from having never facebattled someone to basically having sex over the course of a night. Initiated the encounter knowing full well that he wasn't interested in a relationship, I really WAS interested in one, and that that wasn't going to change for either of us. I was proven right a week later. We still talk and I still want to be friends, but god daisies, things haven't gotten easier, and I still have bouts of feeling like shit.

A while after that I was hanging out with a guy I knew and had been hanging out with more and more often. He asked be out when we were in Starbucks and I said yes. We went on two dates, and facebattled at the end of the first one, when we parted ways at the station. The second date ended with a hug. I haven't seen him since then, and we only texted a couple of times. This was two months ago now. I was planning on ending it anyway (wasn't feeling it) but it seems strange that it was just left hanging like this... Not sure what the dealio is, or if I should try and get in touch with him again.

OKAY time to whip out the Three Nights of Skyping and a Date with the Homophobic Girl story

ALRIGHT SO I go to a charter school, which is basically just a homeschool program where some of the kids meet up at the center and do some electives. So this new girl (Let's call her Christine because that's her name) comes to the school, she's really pretty, get to know her over the next few weeks and eventually I ask her out. She says yes, I'm really excited, the rest of the day we spend passing notes, turns out her mom doesn't LET her date, but she doesn't really care so long as we're secretive and bring friends or at least SAY we bring friends on dates.

So things are cool, we start texting and she asks if we should Skype. I say it sounds good. So basically we Skyped for three, four nights. The majority of those calls were spent

get ready for it

her reading me the 34 chapters of Narnia fan fiction she wrote.

Not just reading me 1 so I could get interest in it maybe and read it myself, but reading me ALL 34 CHAPTERS OF THE FAN FICTION SHE HAS SO FAR WRITTEN. ALOUD. EVERY NIGHT. I tried to follow it but seeing as I'm not a fan of Narnia I could only listen along intently for so long, eventually I just listened sort of close enough to sort of answer questions she asked me about it. She also showed me her entire collection of My Littlest Pet Shop dolls. All 97 of them. She had named all of them.

Also important to mention she was a wolfaboo and a LOLRANDUMB CHEESECAKEMONKEYPIE XD. Her favorite animal was a wolf and was all like "oh my god so cool wolves are so misunderstood" and made a list and read it aloud to our class about 10 reasons why you shouldn't give her sugar, 3 of which were stupid old memes. Yeah.

Then later we sign off of video chat but keep on text chatting and she asks if I would want to sharescreen and watch a movie on Netflix so I say sure. Browsing through she gets to the genre "Gay and Lesbian comedies" and she says "ew". And I say "Haha what?" And she basically goes on a quick little thing about how she thinks it's wrong (mostly because of her family views as an Orthodox Jew) and then asks me if I feel the same way. I explain that no, I don't and I kind of lose my shit a little at this point. I start typing "I'm so sorry" and just turning into a giant cliche for no real reason, it was honestly one of the dumbest things I've ever done.

So SOMEHOW even after her turning out to be a homophobe and me turning out to be a huge romantic baby, we still think we should go on a date. We ask our friends to come with us, both say maybe, one of them cancels the day before, other says she can't be there halfway through the date. Ain't no problem, she'll just tell her mom that our friend was there and that she left before Christine's mom could get there. So the date is going nice, I've saved up around 70 bucks from work and my allowance to throw around, trying to play the role of gentleman I guess. We start off and she takes me into Hot Topic, we don't buy anything, we go to lunch at Panera, I buy it for the two of us, we walk around the mall, I buy her some stuff she wanted, including 3 MLPS dolls that bring her collection up to 100! By the end of the day I had somehow spent 55 dollars.

So the date comes to an end and her mom and my dad come to pick us up, no facebattle or anything but it was fine, we were both 14 and she was p. conservative. I text her afterwards to tell her I had a good time, because I was kind of thinking with my penis, she says her mom flipped out when she had more stuff than her cheddar could buy and that I had bought stuff for her. Basically we couldn't ever see each other again, which I realized in all of 2 hours was a good thing.

So yeah.

I'm still waiting to see these.

I have another story but its a little long I'll have to post it tomorrow. but the sneak preview is I drove more than 16 hours and lived with a girl for 3 months. That shit was crazy

no not that MC, theotherMC [/quote]

Yeah yeah, but I know him, I grew up with that fool, I am curious to hear his date stories I am sure they are epic!

Dated a person who was one of my best friends throughout high school. Lasted two months. Ended badly.

And because I'm the type that doesn't feel any sort of attraction to someone that I don't already have a strong emotional connection with (my friends keep throwing around the term 'demisexual' but, y'know, fuck labels) plus the fact I have developed severe relationship-based trust issues, it's resulted in me not having had romantic thoughts about someone in a good 7 months. Which is a bit bothersome considering I quite like the idea of companionship.

I am a little bit broken in that respect. Ach well.