AWKWARD ZOMBIE

NOW YOU FUCKED UP

SIRENS GO OFF
TOWNSPEOPLE RUN TO THE BUNKERS
SCREAMING
RIVERS OF BLOOD
INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING
ITS TERRIBLE, YOU WET YOURSELF

NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE WIZARD, YOU GET THE PENALTY BOX.

+5 SOLITAIRE CONFINEMENT

>3 card draw
>vegas style points

DRAW THREE CARDS, THEY'RE ALL GO FISH CARDS. SOMEONE HAS STOLEN YOUR PLAYING CARDS DECK BUT THEY'RE STILL USEABLE. I GUESS DEUCES REALLY ARE WILD.

>mance up some pasta ropes
>tie card deck to arm
>gambit

genuflect genuflect genuflect genuflect genuflect genuflect

Become a anime

>sing a lovely song

>Hump EVERYTHING

goddammit shoolis

who, me?

>Demand the chef to make you a Hoggie.

PULLING SPAGHETTI OUT OF YOUR POCKETS YOU LASH THEM TO YOUR ARM AND THREAD AROUND SOME PLAYING CARDS. AFFECTING YOUR BEST CAJUN ACCENT, IT ONLY COMES OUT A GARBLED ASIAN STEREOTYPICAL ACCENT WHICH ONLY AMPLIFIES AS YOU SCREAM WHILE SLAPPING PEOPLE WITH WET NOODLES AND CARDS.

THE WORST PART IS THAT THIS IS NOT THE ODDEST THING TO HAPPEN TODAY.




THE PENITENT MAN PROTECTS, GETTING DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND PRAYING FOR MAGEHOOD. YOU STRAIN EVERY MUSCLE IN YOUR BODY AS YOU PRAY WITH ALL YOUR FIBROUS BEING BUT ONLY MANAGE TO PULL A MUSCLE AND RIP YOUR PANTS.

JUST LIKE OUR LORD JESUS

+10 JESUSFLEX



YOU SUGOI WITH THE BEST OF THEM AND HIDE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT BECOMING A MAGE WITH BULLYING. YOU MANAGE TO MAKE SEVERAL CHILDREN CRY AND FRIGHTEN AN OLD MAN WITH YOUR SAUCER PLATE EYES.

+10 ANIMES



YOU BELT OUT A HARMONIOUS BEAT THAT'S SO FRESH IT MAKES STALE BREAD INTO DOUGH. RAZZLIN THE CROWD, ITS A MOMENTARY BIT OF ORDER IN A TOWN KNEE DEEP IN THE DEAD.

I MEAN CHAOS


\

YOU LET OUT A HORRYFYING HEEEENGING NOISE AND LEAP ONTO FOUNTAINS, SIDES OF BUILDINGS, AND PASSERSBY. THRUSTING AS HARD AS YOU CAN, YOU GRIT YOUR GROIN DOWN DO A SMOOTH SHEEN THAT SHINES LIKE THE SUN. ON THE DOWNSIDE, YOUR LEGS ARE BROKEN.

+5 OUCH




OVERHEARING YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT "HOGGIES" SOME LOCAL YOUNG RUFFIANS STROLL ON BY.
"HEH, HE CALLS IT A HOGGIE, HE'S NOT FROM AROUND HERE"
"YOU ORDERED A DELI SANDWICH IN THE WRONG TOWN, MOTHERFUCKER"
THEY JUMP YOU AND TAKE YOUR WALLET

-5 GOLDIN'S

>Tell your OTPs you love them

>eat hot dogs

>Pull out all your hair from your armpits