AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Chapter One, Part Three



A loud crash and crunching noise erupts from behind me, to the left. I look, and then there’s Takizawa, a higher up of one of the two gangs of our district. Oh hell. He’s riding in a wagon himself, swinging at us with a heavy pole. What the hell is his problem with me? Oh man, if Obaa-san finds out that I made a member of the East gang angry, she is going to be so rustled.

<Good evening, Takizawa!> I call, trying to pull the wagon away from him. <What brings you here this evening?>

<You attacked my boy!> He howls, taking another swing at the wagon, and me personally.

And now I finally realize why Obaa-san never bothered telling that kid off. He was Takizawa’s. And she knew what kind of trouble that would cause…Oh shit.

Obaa-san is at the store by herself. She might be frightening and crazy, but she’s just an old lady.

“Pedal right!” I shout at Red as I pull the wagon around in the street, trying to get back home to make sure Obaa-san’s alright. Fortunately, the streets are relatively empty right now. I can navigate however the hell I want with minimum collateral damage.

What the hell do I do? I’ve never had anyone out to kill me before. Running seems like a good plan now.

“Where are the vents?” Red shouts at me.

I don’t have time for these goddamn questions right now. I need to figure out how to get the hell away. Get away get away oh shit oh shit get away…

“WHERE ARE THE VENTS?” Red screams as she ducks down, throwing her arms over her head in an effort to hide from the rocks Takizawa’s guys are throwing.

“Along the south wall, to the left street. Why?!”

“Go there!”

“WHAT?!” I shoot her a panicked look. She can’t be serious. When we actually have someone following us?

“JUST DO IT. I’VE GOT THIS!” And she hops out of the seat into the back of the wagon where her belongings are. I hear a loud scream and clang, and turn briefly to see a couple heavy chunks of steel being flung at Takizawa and his guys.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, RED? IF YOU DO THAT, THEY’LL KILL US.”

Then I hear something about “excessive public aggression report”, and I figure out what’s up. She’s luring them into getting caught by the Authority, meanwhile, we’ll be hiding in the vent.

“HURRY, DO SOMETHING TO SHAKE THEM AROUND A COUPLE CORNERS!”

You got it, girlie. Now finally getting into the groove of the chase, I rattle the wagon around corners like they’re nothing, narrowly miss a group of children, sending a carton of akashia at the other wagon and mucking up their wheels with the sticky fruit (I’ll have to pay back Mrs. Morimoto later), and eventually disappearing around a corner into a lot that is full of wagons.

We jump out, now that our wagon blends in with the fifteen or so others in the lot, and duck away to escape to the vents. I don’t want to be here for Takizawa to find, and I don’t particularly want to face the Authority, even if I am on the victim end of things. We get to the vent, which is actually my usual one, and I see that the cover has been retightened. Oh hell. I don’t have any tools to—

“Move!” Red hisses. She pulls a hammer and a pry bar out of the bag on her shoulder. She makes quick work of the vent cover, prying it off of the granite wall as easily as just popping the tab on a can. She tells me to get in first, and then hooks the vent cover back onto its case with the curved end of her pry bar, all with hardly any sound.

“We’ll need to get further out if we don’t want the Authority to find us in here,” I remind Red. She nods in agreement, and we run crouched down as far into the tunnel as we can, until we hit a filter. This should be far enough in.

And then I hear it. That familiar whir that marks the approaching Authority. Oh shit, if they find us in here, we’ll be as dead as we would have been with Takizawa out there. We need to move, now. They won’t check all the way to the end of the vent, but at this rate, we’ll have to actually surface in order to escape.

They haven’t replaced this filter yet, so it’s still easy to move. We shift and replace it, as well as the next five that we run into, the path getting steeper and steeper, until the tunnel starts getting brighter. We get to the outer cover and I shove it open to get to the ledge on the granite cliffs. There’s enough space to comfortably camp out here, but it catches all of the wind. This is the cliff that a lot of the vents all wind around to, so that they can catch more air with the wind.

I look over to Red to see how badly she’s freaking out. First time out on the surface would be pretty jarring, depending on whether or not she believes the whole contamination and toxicity thing. At the very least, she ought to be just about blinded from the bright light, what with her pale colored eyes.

Well, the last part looks to be partly true, as she’s got her shawl pulled down over her face like a veil to hide from the light. But, instead of weirding out, or being shocked, she sits down and laughs. And not just an exhausted giggle. Full voiced, shoulder-shaking laughing.

“What?” I ask, breathing hard.

She lifts her shawl (well, now that I can see the light shining through it, I guess it’s more of a large scarf than a shawl) just enough for me to see a mischievous expression on her face. Huh, she’s a lot prettier when she’s laughing.

“Whoo, it’s been a while since I’ve made an escape like that, haha!”

What? What the hell is she thinking? That was almost really really bad. But she keeps laughing. Just sitting there on the stone, laughing. God, she is so weird. Hah, she was right though, now that we’re out of danger, the excitement of the whole thing is kind of fun, I guess. I find myself joining her in the laughter, after collapsing to the granite floor myself.

“So I’m guessing that you’ve been out here before?” she asks calmly, straightening the veil/scarf/shawl thing whatever the hell it is. “You blasted past those filters like they were only curtains.”

“It’s illegal to breach the vents.” I remind her. I grin at the calm water that stretches from below us to the horizon. “What do you think?”

It’s quiet, save for a light wind and some birds that are out of view. No sign of anyone searching for us from the vent, nothing coming for us. I can rest for a second before we go anywhere. Just looking out at the water vapor clouds that put a soft white-grey cast over everything, making the water a dark, greyish teal. Every once in a while, the mist that blends seamlessly with the water’s horizon will look almost solid in front of me. The air is always moving out here. Even with the security that the wall of mist seems to make, it’s so much more open. I mean, it’s just as warm out here as in the Third District, but at the same time, it’s more refreshing.

“The vents in my region of Central lead to a more manageable terrain,” Red finally announces. “Is there a way to climb up to the flat area?”

Well, there is, but I’m not sure you wanna go for that climb, kid. “Uh, yeah, it’s climbable, but it’s not something you just want to tackle blin—“

“Awesome. Let’s go, then.”

“Matte! Wait!” I jump up and grab her by the shoulder before she tries to swing around the side of the alcove, or do something equally thoughtless. “Did you not hear me? I said you don’t want to climb it cold like this! It took me three hours of surveying before I found a route up!”

She looks at me for a second, then cocks her head. “You’re right. You need to go first, and then I’ll follow.”

“No.” I don’t want to go climbing today. I’ve had a long day, I’m tired, and I don’t feel like giving climbing lessons.

“Pleeeeeeeease?” She asks again. What, does she think the answer is going to change? Finally, after I ignore her, and sit back down, she leans out the alcove on either side, checking out the cliffs. She can’t seriously be planning to—WHAT THE HELL

She disappears around the edge of the wall. Her bag swinging off of her shoulder, and the tail end of her scarf trailing in the breeze. What do you think you’re doing, Red? I scramble to my feet and follow to the edge of the alcove.

Her feet are already level with my head, and she almost kicks me in the face when trying to find her next foothold.

“Get back here! You’re going to fall!”

“What’s wrong?” She calls down. “Are you worried about me or something?” She laughs a little bit and climbs even higher.

“I’m not climbing after you!” I shout at her. If she dies, that’s her problem. Then again, Obaa-san will kill me if I let our new tenant die before her first rent is even due.

Within about three minutes, I’m directly beneath her, shouting instructions for where to go next. She’s strong, but the whole planning side of climbing is not her strong suit. After about twenty five more minutes, we’re up to the top of the cliff. We both heave ourselves up onto the ledge, our arms feeling dead from the exertion.

“And here I was, thinking you didn’t like me!” She smirks for a second before she has to start breathing through her mouth again to get enough air.

“Yeah, well…” no comebacks appear. The whole witty thing is always a lot easier in imaginary conversations. “I think that at this point, I’ve earned the right to learn your name?” I press, still half sure she won’t tell me.

She grins again, taking her scarf off. “No, but now I feel more comfortable around you. No need to be all reserved.”

Oh come on, really? That’s all I get—what the hell am I saying? Haha, that sounded like I was expecting more clothing to be remov—whoa, let’s not go down that road.

I must have had a strange look on my face, because she sighs and brings her knees to her chest. “It’s really that important to you?”

Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s important, exactly, but

“Tell you what. Let’s make it a game.” Her eyes light up at the prospect. “You guess my name by the end of the year, one guess per day. We’re something like 750 days in now, so that gives you about 250 chances.”

Whoa, I don’t care that much. I mean, I would like to know what name is so atrocious that she refuses to be called by it. But it’s not worth some stupid game that will probably have some horrible catch.

“And if I win?” the words escape my mouth before I can register the thought of being horrified at them.

Her eyes widen. “Well, I hadn’t gotten that far yet. What do you want to happen in the event that you get my name, Daisuke?”

Whoa, something about that didn’t sound right. Maybe it was just the fact that she said my name and now it feels like we’re on an uneven playing field. Maybe it was the way she said my name? Ah screw it, I don’t know and I don’t care. Anyway, what do I want?

“Uh, I don’t know, we’ll figure that out later, I guess.” Maybe if I just agree with her, it’ll be a safer option. After all, look what happened the last time I told her no. We ended up climbing a cliff during which I almost got a girl to the face several times. Which, now that I think of it, might not have been the worst way to g—haha what.

“We should probably start heading back, you know.”

Huh? Oh, right. Into the Haven. I guess it might start getting dark at some point. I still haven’t gotten a firm grasp on when the night cycles happen in relation to the clock. It seem like every time I come up here, I’m never here long enough to complete a full section of the day, so for all I know, the day and night could be ten hours each. Not a whole lot of details like that survived the Founding and the series of system failures that followed during the first century afterward. Our clock is supposed to be based on the old one, but our calendar is entirely different. So I really don’t even know what time of year it’s supposed to be up here.

Oh right, she wants to go back to the store. “Kay, I’ll go down first, just in case you f—“

“What?” She stands up. “We’re not climbing back down that cliff. Once was enough, thanks. Come on. We’re going to find a more…horizontal vent.”

Wait, that’s not a good idea. You want to screw with as few of the vents as possible. If you muck up too many of them, people will notice, and then they’ll get suspicious. Oh wait, maybe she was talking about her vent that she used living in Central. But who knows how far away that one is. I’ve never been up in Central, so I have no idea what the layout of it is. I mean, I know that it’s bigger than the other ones, with more spread as well as multiple levels (the offices are on top of the Ag level), but that’s about it. We had to study basic maps of other Districts back in school, but only were required to know our own district well.

Point is, it could be ridiculously far away.

“Hellooooo? You there?” Red is waving her hand in front of my face. “You kind of spaced out there. Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah. We should go about finding another vent, yeah?”

She nods, and flashes a very wide smile before just marching ahead toward the mountain near the center of this island. Well, if nothing else, you can’t say that she doesn’t get straight to business.

We don’t run into anything noteworthy aside from a few of those teal songbirds, and some closed moonflowers. Each of us almost falls flat on our faces several times from breaks and sudden elevation changes in the granite. But nothing pointing to a vent, and nothing worth delaying our trip back. I notice that it is indeed starting to get darker. Something further illustrated by the fact that I just cracked my knee on the ground, which erupts with a loud, echoing clang.

“Found another vent, Red.”

She pulls the pry bar out of her bag again, pulling the grated metal off as if the screws weren’t there. I ease down the vent first, making sure that it’s not a straight drop down. Red helps to hold onto my arms until my feet touch ground, her entire torso in the vents. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing to keep her feet and legs anchored, or how she’s planning on getting back up if I can’t find a suitable foothold.

Finally, I find a ledge that should be big enough for both of us to stand on. Alright. Her turn to get down here. She hooks the vent closed, and is sort of hanging by the pry bar. Uh, I’m not so sure she’s going to land r—whoa, there she goes. I try to catch her around the waist to keep her from landing badly and cracking her head on the stone.

Aw shit, now I’ve lost my footing oh shit oh shit oh shit falling kuso ouch sliding. Augh, I think half the skin on my back just got torn off. My ankle bends badly and we finally stop just before crashing into the first filter. Well, at least we’re not still moving, and the ground isn’t so steep anymore.

“Are you alright?” Red hisses from on top of me.

“Not particularly. You?” Seriously, my lower back is killing me. Stings worse than that time that I accidentally spilled salty broth on my hands after I scraped the crap out of them.

“A little afraid to move right now, to be honest.” Now is when I notice that she’s clinging to my arm that’s still wrapped around the front of her waist. Haha, and just an hour or so ago, she was all bashful about me touching her hand. And not long after that, she was flinging chunks of metal at a group of men who wanted to kill us, and was ordering me to pull some crazy stunt driving in order to make a getaway. And now she’s scared of a little fall? Haha, she really is weird.

“Okay, I need to dig the boulders out of my back, so I’m going to get you off of me, ok—hghplch” I warn her before choking on the mass of red hair splayed over my face. Goddamn, I didn’t realize how much of it there was, because it was tied back before. I try to move away from it, but with her on top of me in a relatively narrow tunnel, that’s not happening. At least she smells nice.

In response to my half-choked warning, she tries to sit up to move forward, but instead decides she can’t move enough and just ends up putting a sudden pressure on my crotch with her butt. Well now it’s just about to get entirely more awkward thanks to you, Red.

Now that the scrapes in my back are the furthest thing from my mind (or close to it, well now I’m thinking about them oh hell), it is even more important to get out from under her before we open up a whole other can of “oh shit”.

“Um, sorry about that.” She says slowly. “I don’t know why this part of the vent is so narrow.”

“Right. You roll off to the side, and press against the wall so I can crawl up a bit and let you turn around to work on the vents.” She follows instructions, and finally, we’re situated right so that it’s a long, but easy crawl back to the end of the vent.

I can hear people. Like, a lot of them. A lot of them sound like kids.

“Oh hey, looks like we’re on the west residential sector of Central.” She looks out the grates. “We can hop onto the roof from here. There are some kids having a party across the street, so everyone should be a bit more attentive to that direction.”

“I still can’t believe you’re willing to fight off guys that want me dead, and you’ll blindly jump up a cliff so steep it’s practically got a backwards slope, and you’ll skip across roofs, but you’re scared of a little fall down a tunnel.”

“Tight spaces bother me. Now shut up and help me get this cover off. It’s a little difficult to do by myself when I can’t reach the screws.” She snaps. Okay, so now I know that pointing out fears is a bad thing. We’re making progress. Kind of. I think. Oh right, the vent.

Little hard to actually brace my feet against anything to push when my ankle is screwed up, but oh well. I need to get home. We try just pressing against it, but that’s not going to work unless we ram it, which would risk too much noise. Wait a second, maybe, if we bend the grates on the vent just a little bit, she can get the pry bar through to…no, that won’t work. Shit, we’re screwed. Haha, screwed when the screws are causing the—why the hell am I monologuing in puns?

Anyway. Shit, maybe we’ll have to go back up. Bet Red’ll love that. Nah, not sure we could climb back up it anyways. Ah hell, my first idea is worth a shot. “Red, gimme the pry.”

“And what are you going to do with it from back there?”

“Nothing. You need to get your butt and boots out of my face so that I can get some face time with the cover.” It takes some shuffling, but we finally adjust so that she’s behind me. I slowly bend the grates of the vent cover out of the way, just enough that I can fit my fingers around the pry bar through to twist at the screw in painfully small increments. Twenty more minutes, and I’ve got the cover off. About damned time.

I skitter onto the roof of the house that’s right next to the vent, and Red follows suit. I look for a way down without having to jump. No such luck. “Where to now?” I ask, turning to see her replacing the cover. “This is your home field, after all.”

She puts the scarf thing back on and just makes a “pfff” noise. “Dude, I grew up on the opposite side of this district. Hell if I know where anything is.” She crouches around the edge of the roof until she finds an easy to reach balcony.

Oh hell. I think I’ve had enough jumping and climbing for one day. She, however, has not. She swings down onto the balcony and from there, climbs down someone’s decorative vine trellis. Well, at least there are worse ways to go down. She could have tried to get us to jump across several more roofs. I try to follow her as carefully as possible, what with my foot spazzing out. But when I’m almost to the ground, my ankle surges, I lose my balance and fall flat on my butt.

“You’re really clumsy, aren’t you?” she asks with a quiet, flat tone. Then she reaches into her bag and pulls out her earpiece. “Connect: Rhiora Samenur.” She has it connect to the person’s number before talking very fast in that other language. “Gor. El. Enoch-che orhudeth I. El, shor-che vagreth.”

I can’t keep up with any of the rest of it. Not that I particularly care to. Can’t understand what she’s saying anyway. We walk down the road a ways, away from the vent that delayed us so much. Finally she stops talking and puts away the earpiece.

“What was that for?”

“It’s too late to catch a train back to Third at this point. I called my aunt, and she’ll let us stay at her house through the morning. You should probably let your grandmother know what happened.”

Oh yeah, because that’s a great idea. Not only will my grandmother hear from me that I managed to inadvertently piss off the gang that she warned me under penalty of eternal cane beatings to stay away from, but also that I was involved in several illegal activities along the way. One of which is even rumored to be punishable by death. I can totally see that going over well. But, looking at the clock post on the next intersection we’re approaching, Red’s right. The trans-district trains won’t run again for another two hours, and I am dead tired.

“Alright, can I borrow your phone? Mine’s back at home.” I sigh.

She hands it over, and I have it dial Obaa-san. This can only end badly. Okay, she’s answering. There’s no screaming yet. “Konban wa” I’m greeted. “Ogenki desu ka?”

<Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Um, some stuff happened and I ended up in Central with R—uh, the new girl. It’ll be a few hours until the next train goes to Third, so she arranged for us to stay at her aunt’s house. I thought I should let you know.>

Oh man, here it comes. First the screaming, and then she’ll figure out a way to beat me through the phone. After that, she’ll start asking all of those questions that I don’t want to answer, and it’ll just—

<Alright, thank you for letting me know, Daisuke. Have a good night. Take the next couple of days to sort of explore around Central if you want. You don’t have work, so take your time and bring back anything neat that you find.> And the call is quickly ended.

What? No yelling? No threats? No death? daisies, tonight is just all kinds of weird. Whatever. Red’s leaving me behind, so I better hurry up. Aaugh, my foot is killing me.

Huh. So Red was telling the truth. Pretty much all the girls in Central do wear the scarf things over their hair. Probably makes it a bit easier to hide her hair color. Little hard for me to hide my face. I’ve already seen a few people staring.

After living under ground for five hundred years with no sunlight, even people whose ancestors were dark skinned have gotten to a point where while their facial features are still distinctive, their skin tones are all nearing the same shade of pale. Darker than the quite bodaciously white people, but not as dark as me. Me, whose only living relative is as white as Red over here. I assume the others were all the same. Why am I the one that everything happens to?

Augh, there Red goes, leaving me behind again.

The kind of man who decides on what to cook before he's sure he has the ingredients.

The kind of man who duct-tapes his wounds for fear of attracting bears.

The kind of man who tries real hard to be lazy.

The kind of man who's growth is inspired by boredom.

The kind of man who snorts coke so other people don't have to.

The kind of man who worships toast but doesn't see Jesus in it.

The kind of man who knows knowledge is addicting because... wikipedia.

The kind of man who changes his opinions for everyone he meets.

The kind of man who uses a blow drier on his testicles.

The kind of man who owns a gun but is afraid to be in the same room as it.

The kind of man who knows deer are decent enough fellows.

The kind of man who got his degree in FedExery.

The kind of man who tunes into the Super Bowl to watch the turf grow.

The kind of man who needs Minties.

The kind of man who produces bands called Squat Squat Breakdown.

The kind of man who is the soul of parties, but only because of the dexterity of his mustache.

The kind of man who can lift cars if you are looking the other way.

The kind of man who really appreciates beige.

The kind of man who steals things on Tuesdays if he's had more than three cups of coffee and thinks the cashier is the kind of gal he'd like to talk to.

The kind of man who once came across Samuel L. Jackson in a Walmart on the outskirts of San Francisco and didn't make him say a catch-phrase.

The kind of man who decides on what to cook before he's sure he is going to be alive by dinner time.

Oh hey I am a huge butt for literature of all kinds

I did this weird thing where I tried to write a biblical worldbuilding story, as it might be written for a child. I've considered doing more things along this line because the mythology I've managed to build is interesting. Thoughts?

The World of Not
In the beginning, existence was very big and very black. It was very black because the only thing in it was Darkness, and it was big because the Darkness was big. The Darkness, was so big, in fact, that one day it became aware of its own bigness.

"I am very big," the Darkness said, inventing language in that moment. "I am so big I don't even know how big I am."

"I will move around," The Darkness said, inventing motion. "And then I will know how big I am."

And then the Darkness moved. And it moved very far, but not very far at all, because distance did not exist yet. And after a very long time (but not very long at all, of course), it decided that it was tired of moving so far.

"I will make a way," The Darkness said, "To move without moving."

But that did not work, because obviously moving without moving is a silly idea and the Darkness was silly for having it. The Darkness then decided that he would just invent a way to sense where he was, which was a far more sensible idea. So the Darkness did exactly that, and saw where he was.

"Oh," The Darkness said, "I appear to be everywhere."

And this made the Darkness pop flyin', because being everywhere is a very pop flyin' thing. It made him so pop flyin' that he decided to be everywhere again. So he saw himself everywhere again, and this time he made a discovery.

"There is a spot," The Darkness said, "Where I am not."

And then the Darkness moved to that spot, and he found a thing which was not him. It was very bright and very not the Darkness. He said hello to the thing that was not him.

"Hello," the Not-Darkness said back. "You are very big."

"I know I am very big," The Darkness said in reply. "I am so big I am everywhere, except where you are."

"Well I am sorry, then," Not-Darkness said. "I must have ruined your mood by making you be not everywhere."

"It's okay," The Darkness replied. "I do not mind not being everywhere."

The Not-Darkness told the Darkness that it was called Light, and then Light and Darkness became the best of friends. Light and Darkness moved around the everywhere together, talking about how big the Darkness was. And one day the friends found something that was very curious.

"It is not us," Light said, and that was true. "So what is it?"

The thing that they had found was very small and very brown. It was also very much not like them. Light and Darkness were very big energy-things, and this thing that wasn't them was very small and had no energy of its own. When Dark and Light spoke to it, it did not talk back. This made them very sad, because they wanted to have a new friend.

"I think," Light said, "That we should name it. Because when I told you my name we became best friends, and if we name this thing, it can tell us its name and become our best friend."

"We should name it Not," Darkness said, "Because it is what we are not."

And they agreed on that name, but it did not make Not wake up and talk to them, and they were sad. They decided to watch their new friend until it woke up, each of them watching half of Not. To keep from getting bored, they played a game where they both chased the other. And that was how day and night were invented, by the spinning of Darkness and Light.

Far below on Not, the chasing game of Darkness and Light was making things happen. Not became part green and part blue, and small things which were not like anything Darkness had seen before began to grow. Whenever Darkness tried to talk to the small things they ran or fell down, and that made him very sad.

One day a small thing was looking at Light, and eventually said something to it.

"You are very big."

"I am very big," Light said, pop flyin' to have someone to talk to. "But my best friend Darkness is much bigger."

"I see Darkness a lot," The small thing said. It flapped its wings in the air, for the small thing was a bird. "I like you better. It is easy to fly when it is bright and the ground is easy to see."

"Thank you," said Light. "I am glad I can make it easy for you to fly, little bird."

And then Light ran away, because Darkness was catching up to her in their game of chase. But the next time Light ran away from Darkness, she stopped to talk to the bird again.

"Hello again Light," The bird said happily. "You are looking very big today."

And Light and the Bird talked for a very long time, and they said many things to each other. Eventually Darkness caught up to Light, but she did not mind because talking to the bird made her so pop flyin'.

"Hello Darkness," Light said to her friend. "This is a bird. He is my new friend."

"Hello Darkness," The bird said. "You are very big."

"Hello Bird. Are you my friend too?"

"If you are a friend of Light, then you are my friend," Bird said. "But I cannot say I care for how black you make the ground."

"Oh dear," Darkness said. "I do not want to make my friends unhappy."

Light had a very smart idea then. She gave the Bird the power to make its own light, so it could see where it was going even in darkness, and the other birds could see it and be guided by it. And that was the birth of the Phoenix, who would become especially important later.

Light made another friend while it ran around the world, a Tiger who liked to sit in the grass. And one day the tiger complained that there were too many rocks on Not, and that the rocks made his paws hurt. So Light made Tiger able to grow plants wherever it wanted, which was good for lots of things that lived on Not, because the grass that Tiger grew fed many animals.

The Darkness was also making friends. It made friends with a snake who was getting very hot during the day, so Darkness made the Snake able to live in the cold water. He also made the snake very big because Darkness liked it when things were big. Darkness also made friends with a beast in the mountains, who also wanted to be big. But the Darkness made a mistake and made the beast too big, and it became even bigger than the mountains, and eventually became so big you could see it from high above Not. The beast was called the Mountain Lord after it grew so big.

And the many friends the Darkness and the Light had made were pop flyin' with each other. The six of them became very good friends and they talked about many things. They talked so much that they did not even notice when Man appeared on Not. Only Phoenix, who flew over the land, saw the two-legged newcomers. He was pop flyin' to see them on Not, for they looked like very smart creatures.

But the Humans were not pop flyin' on Not. Living was very hard for them, and Darkness and Light found they could not do anything to help, because Men were very different from the other things on Not, and Darkness and Light did not know how they worked. But the Phoenix knew how they worked, because he saw many things while he flew.

"I am going to help the Humans," The Phoenix said one day.

"Noble of you," said the Snake. The Snake had become very smart in the oceans, and it knew many things the Phoenix did not. "But I am afraid it will not work, Phoenix. You do not have enough power of your own to help the Humans."

"Then I will give it away," the Phoenix said. "If I give the power I have to a few Men, those men will be able to help the other Men."

"Smart." Mountain Lord rumbled. He was very far away, because his voice was so loud he could be heard from miles away.

"Then I will do it," Phoenix decided. "I will help Man the same way Light helped me."

Phoenix flew high into the sky of Not, where every man could see him. Phoenix then gave the men a gift of his power, and this power became Knowledge, and with Knowledge men became very clever and strong, and they were pop flyin'.

But it was not very pop flyin' for others. Phoenix had given away so much of his magic that he had become a normal bird again, and normal birds do not live very long at all. Phoenix, who was now Bird again, plummeted to the ground, landing on a soft blanket of grass that Tiger made for him.

"Did it work?" Bird whispered. Time had taken the song out of Bird's voice.

"It worked very well," Darkness said, proud of his friend. "You should be very pop flyin'."

"I am very pop flyin'…"

And then Bird died.

It was very sad for Bird's friends. They missed him terribly, and everything was very sad without him. Tiger stopped growing grass, Snake stopped swimming, and if Mountain Lord could have stopped being big he would have. Darkness and Light still chased each other, but they were very sad while they did.

But when the Friends stopped doing their work, man stopped being pop flyin'. Plants would not grow, so they had no food. And without the Snake's swimming the water did not move, so all the rivers dried up. Nothing really happened because of Mountain Lord, and he was somewhat put off by that.

So one day all the animals that Darkness and Light had befriended came together, and they promised that they would not let Man suffer, because Bird had not let man suffer. Snake started swimming again, and Tiger grew, and Mountain Lord was disappointed because he could not help.

Snake and Tiger decided that they would help Man personally as well. Snake would take care of the Men on the islands, and Tiger took care of the Men on the grassy plain. And once again, Mountain Lord could not do anything, and he was very sad.

After a long while Man began to take up much more land than they had, which was a very big problem. It was such a big problem that only the biggest thing on Not could solve it.

"I know what to do," Mountain Lord grumbled. "Since I am very good at doing nothing…Nothing is exactly what I will do."

Mountain Lord laid down in the wide ocean and fell asleep. After a long time mud began to pile up on his back, and the mud eventually grew so thick that Mountain Lord was covered by it, and Mountain Lord became a new continent. Men from Snake's islands and from Tiger's plains came to live on Mountain Lord's back, and they had more land than they ever needed.

There was so much extra room that Men began to fight over it. This made the two Friends that were left very angry, and they stopped the fighting. To stop the fighting, they divided the land on Mountain Lord's back into 9 parts, and gave each part a King who owned one part, and only one part. The fighting stopped, and all were pop flyin' again.

And then, for a very long time, Not was a pop flyin' place. Darkness and Light chased each other through the sky, and Snake and Tiger watched over their lands. Mountain Lord slumbered with the Kings on his back, and the Kings made sure not to fight. And at the very top of the tallest mountain on Mountain Lord's back, Bird's body was in a special place. A place that was very big.

D'awwww that's sweet. And the really simple style that you wrote it in works very well. I like it a lot!

Indeed. You should definitely do more like it or expand upon the mythology you created. Perhaps make the Bible of Mander or something where each different chapter is a new segment of mythology.

Unless the mythology you wrote is for a fictional land, you could explain how Not came to be called Earth, how weather patterns emerged, how the stars and moon came to be; a whole cadre of things are available and you could easily write a mythology book.

Mander that was absolutely fantastic! I had a massive smile on my face the whole time I read it.

Here's a generic story that was an English assignment:

Once upon a time, there was a great fortress of infinite splendor and cordiality, the Hereniath, far into the north-western plains of what is known as Glenhaven to the people of its fair land. Away a large facet of the South there grew a foe of supercilious mind and a strident body could induce brave knights into cowering and smite all but the strongest of hearts.

The Southlands had always been infamous for their vast deserts, in which, it is fabled, the heat permeates through sand, cloth and stone, and travelers would stop anon only to find themselves rent from the biting teeth of sand, winds howling without pause, and the cruel, slavering hunger of the desert plains to find their hearts and wills bent erroneously.

Untouched by this virulent plague lie the lands of The Glenhaven of the North and West there was an interposing force on these lands that caused all wicked things to find a pain through their very fibers of existence. The epicenter of this holy earthquake could be found above a great tree of silver and bore no leaves, save it was clad in green fronds of light upon its boughs of gold. Atop the canopy of the hallowed tree was bourn aloft a single flower, in the same fashion of its leaves it too was made of light.


This tree is set in the middle of a great fortress set in the shape of a great bowl, thicker, taller walls gave way to lower, lesser walls until, at the centre, surrounded by the seven levels of this citadel, was a deep lake with a sunken island that would elicit not but the sacred tree of Glenstat, the Republic of the North and West, land of equal voice, home of the blind hand of justice, the strongholds of the free peoples.

The unnamed Ward and Denizen of the South looked upon this land of purity and justice as a great greedy cat looks toward a sleeping rat. The complacent Ward licked his lips and prepared his claws to pounce upon the unawares men of Glenhaven. His great machines of iron and smoke rolled north with a great plume-wall of languid soot and ash that tore the sky asunder and blackened the sun. The corpulent haze of war was seen first, but, to the dismay of the lookouts of the Great Citadel of Hereniath, the great rumblings of the metal war machines were heard shortly after, for their noise was great, and they could move swiftly.

Quickly, the great fires of the watchtowers in surrounding fields burned brightly. The ancient signals of Glenhaven were built to rally and call their allies at a great need they coil through the great lands of Glenhaven, where the signals would flare and split towards Harnn in the East, and to the Durnor, away to the North.


The realm of Harnn and its fabled cannon riders was nestled between low hills and wide plains. The wild horses of Harnn were legends in that they were bred from the great stocks from the deft horses form heavens themselves. The Harnlings were a proud and elder people whose vehement cries and whispers could muster both man and beast toward the gates of death.

The people of Durnor and its mountains of silver were masters of smithing and stonecutting. Their toils in the arctic mountains and searing forges of their land have made them a strong and hardy race. They have mastered cannons and have mounted them upon great metal chassis, though this fact has faded into myth and is now only spoken in reverence of their great tasks.

And thus these four great armies gathered beneath the Green Standard of Glenhaven. The Durnmen set about reinforcing the Citadel of the Tree and building great battlements on which to set their fabled cannon mounts upon. The cannon riders of Harnn gathered about the plains. The war began, and a new age dawned.

Alright I've continued my mythology thing

PROBLEM: No matter how hard I tried I couldn't exactly get the childish tone down for this, so it feels more like the Silmarillion or the Bible.

Also, it is LONG AS HELL. Enjoy wall of text.

The Problem of Darkness

In the ages after Bird gave knowledge to man, and the kingdoms rose on Mountain Lord’s back, all things lived in harmony. A few crabby beasts made a nuisance to travellers here and there, but in the grand scheme of things everything was pop flyin'.

Which is why it was a great surprise to Tiger and Snake when Darkness and Light gathered them and told them that there was big trouble.

“What kind of big trouble,” Snake asked, for he was the more curious of the two.

“The biggest kind,” Darkness said, and considering how big Darkness was, this meant very much coming from him. “Bird would not at all be pop flyin' about this.”

This made Bird and Tiger very concerned, for Bird had been their best friend, and even in death they would not want him to be unhappy. They asked Darkness and Light what should be done.

“We think Bird should solve it,” Light said sadly. “But Bird is dead, and we can’t ask him.”

“But Bird gave his knowledge to Man,” Snake said. “We should ask Man what to do.”

He said this even though he wasn’t quite sure what the problem was yet. Snake was rather smart and thought he could handle it himself, if Darkness would tell him what the problem was. But if they wanted Bird to solve it, Bird would solve it, one way or another.

“But not just any man, I think,” Tiger said. Tiger was the grumpiest of them all, and often times he would make things more troublesome than they needed to be. “We should test them first.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea at all,” Light said, and everyone but Tiger agreed.

“But that way the person who has the most of Bird’s knowledge will win,” Tiger said. “So it will be most like asking Bird.”

Despite Tiger’s grumpiness, this time he was actually right.

Darkness thought for a very long time about what a test could be, because he was not very clever and had trouble thinking of puzzles. After many rounds of his game of chasing Light, Darkness had an idea, and he called Snake.

“Snake, please swim all across the world, and tell all the clever men to gather at the Smallest Place on the Biggest Place.”

Snake knew exactly what Darkness meant, for he was very clever, and he obeyed. Snake swam across all the oceans and rivers of the world, and wherever he went he spoke to Men, telling them of Darkness’s riddle. Many set out for small and big places across the world, but very few went to the right place.

High atop the biggest mountain on the sleeping Mountain Lord’s back, there was a very small shrine to Bird. The small shrine was atop the biggest mountain, making it the smallest place on the biggest place. Although many men went to other places, only seven discovered the true answer.

The first to venture to the mountain was Alurd, a man from the third kingdom on Mountain Lord’s back. On his journey to the mountain he encountered a Witch with a necklace of bat fangs, who promised him great wealth and power if he should abandon his quest. Alurd questioned what reward the Witch could give that would be greater than those Darkness and Light could give.

At this, the Witch became confused, and returned to her scrying glasses and spells to discover an answer. Alurd continued on his way.

Continuing on his path to the mountain, Alurd found company in a stranger, a beautiful woman who seemed to have no past and no memory. Alurd allowed her to follow him, and as the two travelled together they fell in love. Together they abandoned the quest for the mountain, settling down and raising a family.

Many years after their marriage, Alurd’s wife crafted a necklace of bat fangs, and Alurd realized her true nature. In her foolishness, the old Witch had turned herself into a reward that Darkness and Light could not offer; a loving woman. Despite her past, Alurd still loved his wife, and they lived happily.

The second traveller to the mountain was a man named Omal, who was from the islands that Snake ruled over. He was young and clever. His travels were beset by Nort, an impish creature who commanded strange powers. Nort wanted to solve Darkness’s riddle, and he attempted to trick Omal into revealing his destination. Omal was as clever as the imp, though, and his tricks never bore fruit.

One night, Nort grew impatient and made an all or nothing gamble. For the flip of a coin, he said, a deal could be made. If the side of the coin that was painted red landed face up, Nort would serve Omal as his slave for the rest of time. If the unpainted side landed face up, Omal would be Nort’s servant.

Nort was clever, and as he showed the side that was unpainted he rubbed the red paint off of the other. But Omal was far more clever, and as Nort tossed the coin he cut his hand on a knife and snatched the coin as it landed, coating it in his red blood. Nort was defeated, and lived as Omal’s servant to the end of his days. Omal never reached the mountain, but returned home with a magical servant bound to his will, and he lived well. Omal would often brag of his victory over the mischievous demon, and demon’s heard this story and grew afraid. Ever since, coating a coin in blood has been a ward against demons and tricksters.

The third man to set out for the mountain was a man of the Eastern Plains, who believed himself to be far stronger and cleverer than he truly was. His name was Cedeus, and though he was a mighty warrior, his temper often overcame him. Despite his brother’s warnings, Cedeus set out for the mountain.

Cedeus set out on his journey in full armor, a foolish decision. As light circled overhead in her endless game of chase, his armor grew hot, and he grew thirsty. Over the course of his journey he stripped off many pieces of his armor, selling them to passing merchants or leaving them in the dust.

During his journey he crossed paths with two other men who had set out for the mountain. The first was a wealthy businessman named Lende, who bought the gauntlet of Cedeus’s armor in exchange for one of Lende’s many silver necklaces, one with a large silver disk. The second was a greedy criminal named Lote, who had only gone along the path to the mountain to steal from Lende. As he saw Cedeus strip away his armor along the path, Lote began to follow him, and picked up scraps of his armor along the way, or stole them from merchants.

Unbeknownst to Cedeus, however, his brother Cadi had set out after him. Cadi was the younger of the two, and was not as strong as his brother, but he was more cautious. He knew what fights he could win and which he could not. To this end he knew that he would never find the mountain on his own, and so he looked for help. He found it in the final traveller to the mountain, a young man of the southern islands named Malas. Malas was clever beyond his years, and strong enough to fight his own battles, but he welcomed Cadi’s company, for he sensed that the young warrior had a good heart.

Cadi and Malas’ journey, unlike others, was more often spent assisting others. Cadi’s heart was innocent and pure, and he could not let trouble pass by. Their journey was often delayed by Cadi’s good intentions, but those they helped did not forget them, and their aid made the world a better place, and often aided them on their journey by granting them supplies or quick travel.

Along the way they came across Lende, the wealthy businessman. He was lost in a vast wood which encircled the mountain range, and which seemed impassable. Cadi was immediately suspicious of the merchant, for he was wearing his brothers gauntlet. Lende quickly explained that it had been sold to him fairly, and the two made peace. Malas, Lende and Cadi travelled together afterwards.

The forest was vast, and impassable, and Malas soon realized why. This was one of the elder forests, filled with trees that had seen the first days, and had followed the first rotations of Darkness and Light in their endless game of chase. The forest shifted along with their rotations, the trees constantly mimicking the celestial chase. To be lost in an elder forest was to be lost forever. The grim prophecy proved to be true, as they found a corpse in the woods bearing the armor of Cedeus.

For a time Cadi wept, for he believed his brother had died, but when he removed the helmet he found only Lote’s face. Wearing the heavy armor of Cedeus on his weak shoulders, and lost in the elder forest, the bandit Lote had died of exhaustion. Cadi rejoiced, for now there was a chance his brother was alive.

The sounds of mourning and jubilation in such close order is a strange thing to nature, and one of nature’s attendants came to explore the strange situation. A Dryad, whose name is spoken only by the wind whispering through tree branches, appeared to the three travellers and examined them. They pleaded with her to help them escape the forest. She agreed, on one condition. The trees of the forest tried to mimic Darkness and Light’s game of chase, and catch each other, but never could, for if two trees grew close together their roots would tangle and both would die. The trees cried out for satisfaction in their game of chase, and the Dryad could not satisfy them.

Lende, who was not the most clever of the three but by far the most practical, suggested that the trees bend their long trunks to touch their neighbor. Immediately the forests ceased to shift and the way became clear. Some trees began to bend to reach out to their neighbor, and thus there came to be willows and other leaning trees.

The Dryad, who had constantly been plagued by the complaining of the trees, rejoiced, and gave them a greater reward than she had promised. To each traveller she gave a seed, which, when planted, would grow into a plant which would aid the travellers in their time of need. Each plant would sprout a new seed as well, so the travellers would never fear losing their blessing.

The travellers continued on their way, and the Dryad, no longer needing to tend her forest constantly, began to travel the world. She took the name Shithis, and her presence made the places she visited verdant, and the wind was forever at her back. In time she aided men as men had aided her, and she was worshipped as the Spirit of Plenty, for her presence made crops grow rich.

Lende, Malas, and Cadi continued on their path to the mountain. In time they came to rocky places where plants did not grow, and only hostile things lived. In time they came across one of the darkest creatures of the mountain, a tyrant beast named Alivar, who had named himself King of the Mountains. He was stronger than any man, and all who challenged him perished. In his hands he held the sword of Cedeus, and Cadi’s fury was sparked, but his hope remained, for if Cedeus had left his armor behind, he might have left his sword behind as well. Cadi asked Alivar what had happened to the swords last owner.

In answer, Alivar pointed the sword to a corpse that had been beset by rats and maggots, wearing the silver necklace that Lende had traded to Cedeus.

At this, Cadi’s wrath woke, and the mountain shook. Cadi was not a warrior, and was in fact a righteous and peaceful man, but there is nothing more dangerous than a peaceful man who has been brought to anger. Cadi struck the hand of Alivar, and his bones shattered, and Cadi ripped the sword from his broken grip and struck him down.

After this Cadi mourned, and buried his brother, and took the silver disk from around his neck. The body of Alivar was burned, and the smoke of his corpse became a storm cloud that brought rain to the land for weeks, but was then blown away and troubled no one. Cadi took up his brothers sword and the journey continued.

Many dangerous beasts had gathered in the mountains, but the smell of Alivar’s blood on Cadi’s sword frightened them, and the three travellers had no more troubles from any monster.

The mountain itself proved an obstacle, and a cliff came to face them which they could not scale. Lende and Cadi walked back and forth, searching for a way to climb the cliff, but it was sheer and offered no place to grip. Malas searched the bottom of the cliff for small blades of grass, and his two companions had no clue what he was doing.

Eventually Malas found a patch of grass, and he buried the seed Shithis had given him. Immediately a web of sturdy vines overtook the cliff face, and the three climbed. At the top of the cliff, Malas plucked a seed from the vines, which could be used again, as Shithis had promised.

The vines did not die, as some plants might have in the rocky mountains, but thrived, and the vines reached into every crack of the mountain, and they swelled in the caves, and the dangerous creatures which inhabited the dark places of the mountain were pushed from their homes, and the mountain was made safe again. The monsters were driven into the lands of men, but they were scattered and homeless, and many were slain, and the world became a safer place for their deaths.

The three travellers continued on, and soon reached the top of the mountain. There they found the shrine to Bird, and Tiger and Snake were waiting, and far above Darkness and Light ceased their chase to welcome their guests.

“Well, this won’t do at all,” Darkness said immediately. “Only one person was supposed to show up.”

“Two of you may have to leave,” Light said.

Malas and Lende immediately turned away, for Cadi had lost his brother on this quest, and had earned success far more than they, but Cadi grabbed onto their arms and would not let them leave.

“These are my friends,” Cadi said to Darkness and Light. “Without them I would not have come here, and without me they would not have come here either. We work together.”

All four deities gathered agreed, for they well understood the bonds of friendship. All three would work together. Finally, Darkness presented the problem that they had been called to solve.

“A long time ago, Light met Bird, and Bird complained that he could not fly while I crossed the sky. He was Phoenix for a while, and so that problem was solved, but since he gave up his power the night has been truly dark, and no one has been able to travel, and evil things thrive in it. I do not wish to cause so much trouble, and give evil things so many places to hide. Please, men, how can we bring light to me again?”

The three men thought silently, and the four deities waited. Cadi was the first to offer a solution.

“I mean no disrespect to Bird,” Cadi said. “But perhaps you should make another Phoenix.”

“If it comes to that, I will,” Light said. “But I would not like to. Bird was my first and best friend, and I don’t want to replace him.”

As light spoke she shifted, and the light reflected off of the many silver necklaces that Lende wore. He and Malas looked at each other, and the answer became apparent.

Lende tore the necklaces from his neck, and Malas stripped them of their hundred beads, and scattered them among Darkness. They reflected Light’s radiance, and formed a guiding light in the night sky.

Cadi saw this and offered the silver disk that he had taken from Cedeus’ body, and it was the last and largest of the pieces of silver placed into Darkness.

With this, all were satisfied, and Darkness and light resumed their chase. The silver beads and disk reflected Light, and the night was no longer black. The shine of the silver frightened the beasts that lurked in darkness, and night became safe for man.

At this satisfactory ending, the three travellers parted. Lende returned to his business, and was successful, for he owned the moon and stars above, and he was rich and pop flyin', and his descendants still keep his business running. Malas returned to his realm, and with the seed Shithis had given him he was never again troubled, and he befriended Snake and was taught many things about the world, and he founded a great library which has educated many generations after him. Cadi returned to his home in Tiger’s plains, and he trained as a warrior, and Cedeus sword, still bathed in Alivar’s blood, was the bane of many monsters. He founded an order, warriors who honored the moon, and they were the protectors of the world of Not.

This is the origin of the moon and stars that sail above Not, constantly reflecting Light amidst Darkness. It is the tale of how Alivar was slain, and how the elder forests ceased to wander and willows came to be, and how Shithis was freed from her forest and became a Spirit of Plenty, but at it’s heart, it is the tale of Lende, of Malas, and of Cadi, who bested all challenges put before them and proved that Man could help God as God had helped Man.

Oh man Mander I am really diggin' these Not stories

They're so nice and picturesque

Aaaaahhhh I love it. It didn't feel very long as I was reading it. It was great.


So, I've got more written up, but I figured I'd start posting this stuff in more manageable chunks.


Chapter Two, Part One

Now that we're back inside, I can’t help but notice that Red gets more quiet and withdrawn again. Man, I was kind of starting to like her when she was all adventurous. And when she had more personality than a rock. I shift my foot around under the seat of the tram, trying to find a position that’s comfortable. Ankle got worse over the course of walking for fifteen minutes to get to the station.

“Oh hello!” an old woman greets Red next to me. “I thought I heard that you got transferred to work on assembly equipment in Third!” She sits down across from us, putting her bag on the seat, taking up as much extra space as another person. “Not that I approve of you working of moving away from home, of course.”

“Yes, well, there were some delays. I’m visiting Aunt Rhiora for now.” She says, only making eye contact for a split second.

“Oh. Rhiora, huh?” The old woman asks. Jeez, if she sounded any nastier, I’d have to wonder what Rhiora did to deserve that. Actually, I probably wouldn’t, because it sounds like she’s going to let us have an earful anyway. “You really want to associate with that…that…adulteress? Watch out little missy. Don’t want none of her sin rubbing off on you.”

Red just nods quietly. Isn’t she going to defend her aunt?

“And who are you?” The old woman snaps at me. “You’ve got dirt on your face, you know.” She turns back to Red. “You know, if you hang out with too many ruffians, I’ll have you written out of the estate!”

Red mutters something that sounds along the lines of “like there’s even any estate worth being written in for.” Haha. Sounds like this is the hated and jaded aunt.

“What did you say, young lady?”

“Whooooops, sorry to cut this party short. It’s our stop, Red.” I pull her up out of the seat and toward the door, trying very hard not to limp.

“Watch out, little missy. Don’t want to get too mixed up with this trash.” The old lady calls after us.

“Well that was…nice?” Not entirely sure what to say. Red’s either rustled or terrified, I can’t tell. She just walks the same way that she first walked into the store earlier tonight. Head down, arms crossed, not saying a word. “Red?”

“Sorry. My grandmother is rather…abrasive.”

“That’s your grandma?” She’s not serious. Direct descendant of something like that? I mean, hell. I live with Obaa-san, but I don’t think I could handle that. Obaa-san is brutally straightforward, but she’s not unreasonable. That old lady was just flat out mean and bitchy. “daisies, didn’t think you’d be related to someone like, uh, that.”

“Yes. That is my grandmother. I’m sorry that I don’t get to have relatives that are as good as yours.” She snaps.

Well, that answers the question about whether or not she’s angry at me. Time for damage control. “I just, you know, uh. You seem very easy-going with things like, uh…”

She stops and looks at me. “Very what, Daisuke? What am I? What do you declare me to be after only knowing me a grand total of four hours?”

“You didn’t care that I look different from you. You don’t mind that you live in a sector that speaks a different language. I mean, sure you tweaked a little when I touched your hand, but you’re just very…cool about things.” I stop walking for a second, trying to rest my foot. “I just thought that your family would have been the ones to make you cool about something like that.”

She isn’t saying anything. Would she really be that mad at me about this? I try to catch back up to her, since she didn’t stop for me. Oh hell. “Red, come on. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just…surprised.”

Not sure if I'd allready posted this....

40 word letter to the world assignment:

Dear life, the world and all your heavy handed rules
Controlling hopes, deciding fates, hushing thought, and making them fools
Ruling a world of Ignorance, the Able take the stand
Teachers free the prisoners of your ideals.
[size=200, One Free Man][/size]

“Don’t you even want to want to say goodbye?” Eleanor pleaded with an energy better served wrestling bears.

“Not especially.” Ronald continued the rhythmic rasping of chalk upon chalkboard. “Seems to matter little.” If you could have
noticed the change in pace of the chalk tapping then you have better ears than most. “Is there a particular reason for my
appearance, some formality I am unaware of?” Ronald’s tone was even, but could not completely hide his irritation at the mere
thought of ceremony.

“He admired you, admires you still, no matter how cold you’ve been.” Professor Eleanor Ball reached for ego, hoping against
everything to get some response. Her friend was less a person and more a high functioning piece of equipment that lived in the lab.
His shell was his most defining feature. It left him with one stubborn friend and a host of peers willing to strangle him.

“Cold, is it?” The rapping of the ever shrinking chalk piece stopped. Professor Ronald Rountree turned to face his peer,
research partner, and some might even say, confidant. “I suppose he wants a gracious handshake and a fruit basket.” Rountree’s
hulking frame belied a man entirely dependent on his intellect for traction. “Perhaps he wants more of my time, to remind me of all of
it I have already wasted on him.” His beard gave his face most of its definition. It merged with his thinning hair on either side of his
head, framing sunken, dark eyes and a narrow nose. His mouth was almost invisible unless he bared his teeth.

“Stop that, Rountree.” Eleanor’s spine stiffened a little. “You have no right to insult his intelligence or his contribution, both of
which are substantial. He has been a credit to this university and he deserves his new position.” An unpleasant rumbling sound left Rountree’s diaphragm, a distorted laugh, condescending as any deity.

“Substantial? Such a lofty claim. Such a grand accomplishment. His work was not quite worthless, I agree.” The tapping of the chalk continued, faster as if making up for the brief break. Professor Ball’s frustration began to outweigh her affection for the miser.

“Can’t you allow him anything? Can’t you wish him luck? Say thanks?” The stout woman’s sharp blue eyes went unnoticed, much as they stabbed at the back of the neck. “I don’t see why you hate him so much.”

“Him?” Ronald put down his utensil, allowing the equation to rest unfinished on the board. “What makes you think it’s about him?” Rountree was genuinely taken aback by the idea. “I don’t want to go to any damn party for any damn assistant. I do not want to mingle with the troglodytes.”

“This again?” Eleanor’s frustration shifted to consternation. “Are we back to hating everyone? A grudge against the human race is a massive waste of effort.”

Rountree’s darkened features eased a bit, sliding back to arrogant standoffishness. “I assure you, my dear lady, it’s no effort
at all.” The miser returned to his work, taking only moments to find his place and no time at all to continue it. The sound of the chalk returned, comforting to one and frustrating to another.

A younger Rountree sat at a lunch table reading, unaware of his surroundings, and unaware of the consternation he created even at the young age of twenty years. Engrossed in his dense tome of equations, aloft in higher thought, he committed the social faux pas of ignoring an upperclassmen. A tone which would follow him throughout his academic life.

“RONNIE!”

Rountree looked up with a start, turned and looked with wide eyes at his classmate. “Oh, sorry, ummm…” Young Ronald found himself at a loss. Brown eyes and hair. Unkempt clothing. He looked familiar, but being good with math often led to bad with names. Ronald was too embarrassed to mention this though and merely stuttered incomprehensibly until…

“It’s Kevin, jackass.” Kevin, apparently, had been trying to borrow a pencil for nearly a minute at the top of his voice.
“Remember, early morning class, General Physics?” Kevin lost all remaining patience at the blank stare in Ronald’s eyes. “Forget it.” He left a still stammering Rountree to his book.

“Third row back. Kevin Gibbs…”

“Will you be supporting the team this Saturday?” A tall girl dressed in full cheerleading regalia, handing out buttons and flyers.

“What team?” That was stupid of me, thought Rountree, too late.

“Nevermind, loser.”

“Rountree, we missed you at the party.” A young black haired sophomore walked with a clique of friends on their way to cafeteria. Rountree physically wilted at the rebuttal in the boy’s tone. The young junior hesitated a moment before asking.

“Party?”

“The invite’s in your locker, dude. Did you not get it?”

“Oh,” Rountree considered telling the truth, that he found crowds uncomfortable, but settled for, “I don’t use it much, probably should check it more often.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Devon and his group continued on their way, muttering not quite soft enough to stop Rountree from hearing their insults.

“Where’s your head at, Rountree?” Jeffrey was incensed, there was no other word. “You knew I needed a project to work
on!” With his lab coat’s sleeves rolled up over a tie dyed t-shirt, he looked the quintessential college student. The easygoing ponytail and lovechild color was slightly offset by the yelling. “Did you just laugh it off every time I asked for help?”

“You never asked me.” Rountree was backed against a bookshelf in the students’ lounge. If it had occurred to him Ronald might have tried to intimidate using his size, but he was not programmed that way. “I didn’t even know you needed any help…” The grad student’s voice failed him, fading with his wherewithal. Jeffery pounced on the weakness, using it to confirm his accusations.

“Everyone else here knew I needed help. How’d you miss the damn memo?” The answer was simple, Rountree did not talk to anyone outside of class.

“It’s not a competition, Ronnie. We’re supposed to help each other.” Rountree withered under the combination of proud Jeffrey’s shaming gaze and his fellow graduates’ righteous sneers. He waited till the angry student’s moved from their menacing positions in order to make his escape, barely stopping to grab his bag from the table. He kept his head down, not wanting to offend anyone.

Stomping down the stairs out of the building, he began to feel the first spark of indignation. This spark landed on a lot of fuel.
Rountree began to comprehend the injustice of it all, of all he had been put through. Not once had he heard Jeffrey’s pleas, not because of negligence, but because the disorganized asshole never talked to him, never bothered to. Rountree’s thoughts darkened as he asked himself why he should ever feel guilty for another’s stupidity. He could think of no reason for any of it.

Dr. Ronald Rountree stared down his nose at his assistant, Yancey Price. Tapping his desk with a meaty index finger he listened as Price detailed the day’s going’s on in the lab. No breakthroughs on the math, no progress on the physics, and the grad students wanted a new coffee machine. In short Rountree was bored by the whole conversation, and was no longer polite enough to hide it.

“Oh, but we got the software running again. A missing installation file seems to have gotten in the way.” Price was enthused,
his boss was not. Rountree nodded, waiting for the rest of the report, staring ahead with brow furrowed.

“And…?”

“And I suppose that’s it, Professor.” Price stared awkwardly down at his feet.

“Alright then.” Rountree waved Price away and began going through his mail, a sure sign he wanted to be alone. Price swallowed a question regarding a raise and left hoping his girlfriend was in a better mood than his boss. She had been pressuring him
to ask.

Scantly a year later Price announced his engagement to his longtime girlfriend Sharon. Rountree stood at his chalkboard and mumbled something. Possibly his blessings. Possibly what he thought the weather would deliver.

Price gave his resignation a year after that, prepared to move on to greener pastures. He had been offered a department of
his own at a distant college across the country. Rountree loudly gave his blessings all the while realigning books on a shelf.

A month later Professor Eleanor Ball stood in a classroom confronting the hulking fool. Rountree continued his affair with the blackboard, left now with only the option of checking over his work. There would be no mistakes, he knew, but he was in no mood to turn around and deal face to face with his fellow professor. She was uncomfortably good at talking to him.

“I suppose you’re just going to hire another one?” Eleanor was growing impatient. “Spend another year getting to know an assistant and then ignore him till your callousness drives them away.”

“I am not callous.”

“You’re unfeeling.”

“Not at all. I am feeling annoyed. Primarily at a so-called friend who moonlights as a therapist.”

“You don’t care about anything but your books.”

“Agreed.” Rountree tended to respond to badgering like he did all things, sarcastically, without emotion or investment. “Have you anything else to say, Elly?” Rountree’s disarming nickname had stopped working on Eleanor a long time ago, but he was eager to see an end to this interrogation.

“Shut up, Ronnie.” Eleanor sighed in surrender. “Why do you insist on being so distant?”

“Distant to whom?” Rountree jumped on the question, stomped on it. “To my peers, who insist on demonizing me when my
back is turned? To my superiors, who openly tell everyone they’d fire me if only they could replace me? Perhaps you mean my
students? The ones who have decided that every low grade is the result of a personal vendetta against them, perpetrated by some
horrible troll? My family, who forgot I existed when I didn’t get a business degree? Maybe it’s the people I grew up with? The ones
who got angry at the sight of a book? The jocks who found my ignorance of their semi-organized rough housing a threat?”

Rountree shook with a distilled rage. “Weird, distant, angry, greedy, nasty, arrogant, mean, short tempered, nerdy, scary,
ugly, and vile. So many colorful ways to describe me.” Like a dying volcano the professor paused, sighed, and let out one last small
eruption.

“They can thank me. I made honest men out of them.” Rountree returned to his chalkboard, staring at it till Elly had the sense
to walk away and leave him alone.

Criticism is always nice mmhmm. Need a place to post my work mhmm.

A romantic observation of nature as knights.

THE COURT
Far in the deepest forests of man lay a hall. Made of stone overgrown by years of growth and almost retaken by the roots and grasses, this hall stood tall. Not as large as those trees around it, but enough to give impression and leave awe. How the thing stood, nobody was quite sure. Nature had seen fit to make it her play thing, to keep it in her hands but never to destroy it. Great stone doors opened at the whim of touch and revealed a simply furnished hall. There were dormitories to the left and right, but were unimportant compared to the table that ran the length of the building. It was moderately decorated, the cups and plates and tapestry were all but extravagant. At the head of this table rested a simple stone throne, engraved with scenes of battle, peace and love. Scenes of heat and cold, pleasant winds and blooming flowers. At the top of this throne rested a four sided crystal that shone a different color depending on its arrangement. The first is an emerald green that glowered as the light that shone in through the painted glass windows. Second shone a sunset yellow, harsh as it is bright. Black obsidian that drank all the light that shone against it was the third side. The last face sparked white and pure.




THEIR PURPOSE
“Nature always wins”, or so the saying goes. Humanity is under the assumption that nature will always succeed their endeavors, or at least they should. Just as we know that in the spring new growth emerges and in the summer the heat comes and fall brings the rains and winter covers the land in cold and white, we know that these are integral to the Earth’s growth. Within this enchanted Court then, are the protectors of that cycle. Knights who uphold the idea that Winter is cold and Summer is hot. These are not peaceful knights however, they do not simply appear and their charges follow. No, they carve out their duty. Summer beats his hammer upon the Earth. Winter slashes his axe to bring snow and wind to the grasses and forests. Fall sweeps his glaive to open sores of water in the sky to bring down the rains and with each pierce of Spring’s blade he brings forth new growth. Interference with such a cycle is a mortal mistake.

SPRING
When the crystal rested emerald forward, it was time for Ser Spring to take hold of the granite throne. His armor was a deep green that shone brilliantly in the sunlight. There were no harsh edges to his plate, all was scaled and ran cleanly from limb to limb. The shoulders and gauntlets rippled like the veins of leaves and the chest had rivulets in it like the roots of a tree. Over the heart, a ruby collection that looked like a rose bloomed. His helmet was all clean edges and sloping lines, a crest of green steel sprouted from the back of the helmet and stopped suddenly to flow into a singular sharp curve, like a sickle moon. Threads of red, yellow, violet and many other colors often found their way into the light, only to disappear under the ripples of color. Spring carried no shield, as it was not his way to hold fast and wait. He wore his coat of arms on his back instead on a sash that crossed over his right shoulder. His chosen arms were not heavy; they were the rapier and dagger. Both had elegant cross guards designed to look like weaving vines and flowers that were as durable as any hard steel. They were designed to catch blades and allow the Ser to flip and twist the weapons that came upon him. Like a river these flew because Spring could never hold still. In battles he danced on the balls of his heels and never waited for an enemy to strike. Spring was always first, brilliant and dashing. When Spring walked the Earth, defilers of nature’s beauty saw the end of his rapier that dashed and flashed like the fleeting like of midday. Ser Spring was the brother that sought to repair relationships, who sought to bring out the kindness in Winter or the cheerfulness in Fall. Spring laughed often and well, and was kind to those that showed kindness in turn.

SUMMER
The second face, the one of yellows and golds and oranges, heralded Ser Summer. When Summer arrives, he brings the shine of the sun and the heat of the day. Though he is gilded, Summer is stern as he is bright. Cruel as he is open handed. Summer is freedom and ease of day, and Summer is drought and the hammer of the desert. He wears burnished gold armor that is made up of heavy plate. The helmet has a crown melded around the bridge of the temples and the faceplate is immovable but riddled with holes. His shoulders are crowned as well, and arms cross his breastplate to join on his back, sand running through the hands to mix with the browns and golds that color the armor. Around his waist Summer atttached tapestry of red and gold that twisted in the wind. His weapon of choice is a large warhammer whose head has a blunt end on one side and the other tapers to a point. A symbol of the sun itself, which is both a presence that beats down upon the ground as it is piercing to the skin and eyes. Summer was cruel to any that irritated him, though it was not in his nature to be cruel. To his brothers Summer showed affection but in a paternal and overbearing manner. His voice boomed in the empty halls in that deep forest. If trespassers were violent with nature, or if the ever present technology loomed into those secretive places of nature, Summer would be there, ready to grind the intruders into the dust and sand that makes up the endless deserts.

FALL
When the crystal turns to show the face that devours light, Ser Fall takes his seat. Fall wields a glaive as he rides across the fields and forests of Earth. His glaive’s staff is five feet long and made of black, polished wood. The head is a foot and a half feet long of flat steel, the head abruptly curving up into a peak, which slopes back down to form a claw like hook at the base of the metal. Fall’s armor is black and stained with flecks of the dying leaves. Burly and tall, Ser Fall’s plate weighs heavy upon his frame, which slouches and retains ill posture. On his back Fall wears a cape too long for him threaded with bronze fabric that was always dirty. His coat of arms shows here, flitting shadows beneath crossed scythes. His helmet is close to the flesh with a plume of black silk, and an open face. To cover his face however, the knight drapes chains that allow only the points of his eyes to shine through, black though they may be. Fall is quiet compared to his brethren. He makes little noise and speaks only when spoke too. Even his horse is quiet. Fall rides as the trees shed their leaves and the clouds weep openly to make the roads run with mud. He follows his bright and noble brother Summer and warns of his fearsome brother Winter. Fall closes the year and he brings death to Spring’s bounty. Liked little and less by his brothers, Fall remains quiet and dislikes his time on the throne.

WINTER
Winter means the crystal turns to the fouth and brilliant white face. Ser Winter sat then on the throne, his white armor that could shine brightly or shake off all color to remain pale gray, like a traveler shedding the snow from his cloak. His armor was all sharp edges and intersecting plate. On his right shoulder a fur half cape rested, covering his arm but not the rest of his body. The left arm was covered in heavier plate.The helm matched a gladiator’s, with sloping curves flowing to around the flat plated face. Winter’s arms were as sharp as he was, a heavy shield shaped like a thin triangle, edges sharp as spearpoints and decorated by a frozen wyrm. His main hand carried a battle axe, dual headed. The common forward facing part was flat and razor sharp on the edge. Straight as an arrow the blade did not shift or curve, only the connection to the handle did it differ. The other side however shifted like a snake and was lined with small curving teeth. Winter nicknamed the sides Ice and Wind and found joy in swinging the cruel device. Winter was both the end and the beginning, though not to hear him tell it. It closed the year and also began a new one. Though the trees shook their final coats and were left as skeletons and though white cascaded across the world, Winter also hid the fresh buds of Spring as he finished Fall’s work. Though distant from his brethren, Winter matched shout for shout against Summer and wit for wit with Spring. Winter shunned his court and brethren.

A little sappy something I guess

Those stars that hang in the sky twinkled, the moon's dagger sat stuck in knight's breast, glowing softly

Only a curious few beasts stirred at this hour, betwixt dawn and twilight

One special creature was about to wake however, it's restless snoring and shifting enough to move Earth

The mountains shook with every breath, oblivious mindless noises until with a start those mountains rose

For the mountains and hills of Earth rest on Coliso the Bear, King of Terra's back.

His ancient stone and soil body shook off debris, his eyes, massive rubies, glowed on a mangled face

Steadying himself by resting his massive paws, the stars above turned their gaze to him

Mismatched teeth, stalactites, stalagmites, valleys act like scars, that elder face cracks open

Colisio the Giant let loose a roar that shook the Earth, his body shaking with effort

Waking the creatures of the world, then there is a pause before those lances of light from the horizon.

These spears shred knight's armor, you see Dawn has woken, bringing Day the playful child by hand

Colisio ceases his ferocious task, rubies meet sapphires, he has seen Dawn's visage.

Golden hair, soft pale, fair skin those thin hands and a quick smile that sparkles with white teeth,

The Titan is silent, rock heart pumping fast that blood of gods, mouth limp like a dullard.

Dawn giggles, but Day, the sparkling child, pulls at her arm and they disappear across the Earth.

Coliso is saddened, not just because that gorgeous Dawn is gone but because he will never have her

He is a creature of Earth, she a Maiden of the Sky. But perhaps one day if you, children, wake early

You may just catch the light of Dawn, as it kisses the peaks and hills of the Earth.

More to come when I feel like digging them out.

I haven't written in a long time, but I suppose I may as well try my hand at it.
___________________________________

In the beginning of everything, there was only the Maiden, a beautiful soul that lived in the void. She was very quiet and patient, but nevertheless she became very lonely, being the only thing in the void. She came to grow uneasy, constantly staring into the nothingness which seemed to go on forever. The great darkness came to frighten her, so she decided that she would do something to make it less threatening.

She then created stars.

The stars were vibrant with light, and made what was once nothing rather beautiful. But she wanted to make it special, so she swirled the stars together to make pretty, stronger lights. She rearranged them to make pictures of things she thought up.

One day, or I say day, for they had not been invented yet- she painted a portrait so beautiful and real it came to life, it was that of a bearded elderly man. He was rather short, with with an odd shape in his legs that the Maiden had never seen before, with curled horns that adorned his helm.

"Why, hello there!" The Maiden exclaimed, looking at the Old One with curiosity, "and who might you be?"

The Old One coughed a bit, stardust sputtering from his lips like spittle. He looked about, and h saw nothing but stars, and this bored him horridly. The Old One turned to the Maiden, peering through his thick brows.

"These lights, was it you who made them?"

"Why yes," she beamed, "they are lovely, aren't they? I call them 'stars'!"

The Old One muttered at this, looking about.

"'stars', hmm?" he croaked, "They're a pretty sight, aye, but they're a tad dull. I want something I can hold, but yet these stars just float right out of my hands."

The Maiden thought for a moment, "I know just what to do!"

She took a star and began to smooth it out, until it was perfectly round, like a glowing rock.

"Here you are," the Maiden said, her voice filled with joy, "I think this will fit your liking."

The Old One took the stone in his hand, and smiled up at the Maiden. "It's beautiful, lass, you simply must show me how to make more of these!" he spoke quickly, chuckling with excitement.

The Maiden agreed, for she was a kind soul, and once again maid another glowing stone from the stars. The Old One chuckled and tried for himself, but he could not mend the stars, for they slipped through his hands, and this saddened him.

The Maiden saw that he was upset, so she held the stone in his hand, and told it to listen to the Old One, and she gave him power over all things stone.

The Old One looked into the glowing stone, and thought of a way to create another stone which he may mold to his liking, for he cherished the glowing stone, for it was a gift of the Maiden, and would not mold it.

The Old One asked the Maiden if she would mold the stars together into a glowing stone , so that he may mold it to his liking. The Maiden obliged, and pulled together more stars that she had ever before, and gave it to the Old One. But she was sad, for in order to make the large stone, she had to sacrifice many of her lovely stars, however, the Old One had an idea, and told the Maiden to pull the light from the stone, so that she may have her stars once more.

The Maiden did so, and the Old One looked with happiness upon his stone, for he could look at it closely, and the light would not bother his eyes.

"Now I have much work to do," declared the Old One, " Maiden, would you be so kind as to make a light for me to work by?" he inquired.

"But of course" she replied, and the Maiden made a great star so that the Old One could see. The star was very bright and warm, and she loved it very much.

The Old One began to mold his new creation, turning it as he sculptured it. He made ridges and bumps and crevices, and he thought that it was indeed a beautiful stone, though something was missing, so he plucked a hair from his beard and placed it onto the stone, and told the stone to decorate the stone with it, and the stone obeyed, and took the hair and absorbed it, but it would not grow.

He asked the stone why it did naught with the hair, and it told him it was weak, and had no energy to make anything from it, so the Old One spoke to the Maiden, and asked once more for a gift for his stone.

The Maiden thought, and once again painted with her stars. This time, she made a very swirly portrait, this time of a woman, which soon came to life as the Old One did.

When the woman spoke, her voice was smooth and rippling. She was playful and careless, yet she had a certain mystery about her.

"Hello Maiden," the woman bubbled, before swimming over to the stone and the Old One.

"Why, what a beautiful stone!" She beamed, looking at it with delight, "It looks a bit dry though, doesn't it?"

"Indeed it does," replied the Old One, "It has no energy, and thus it bears nothing."

The woman became very sad upon hearing this, and she wept. Her tears fell onto the stone, filling the great craters and holes in the stone. The stone gained energy from the tears, and thus grew green and rich with life.

"Look!" The Old One gasped, "You fixed it, lass, you brought life to it, look how beautiful it is!"

The woman saw this, and she was overjoyed.

"What shall we call it?" she inquired, peering over his shoulder at their handywork.

"I do not know" He explained, "Such a beauty is beyond words I could form."

"You and the Maiden and I made it, did we not?"

"Yes, indeed." The Maiden interjected, "This world was made living by the light, the water, and the Elder, and it is only fitting that it be named after the one who molded it, so it shall be called 'The Elder World'.

The three liked this name, and thus the world was made: a world teeming of life, made with stone, water, and the warmth of a star at it's center.

Goddamn, I want to do this, and I'm just fine at writing, but I'm terrible at coming up with interesting things to write about.