AWKWARD ZOMBIE

>Freak out.

Roll for sanity check.

Critical Failure.

You start FREAKING the FUCK out like the madman you are.

"FERGLAJKHGNMOLPH"

You screech

Fotsteps are heard coming up the stairs along with people chattering.

Your mom comes into the room.

She is in her late 40s she has red hair and a slight irish accent. Her breast are slightly limping but a good height for her age. The are deep bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.

"Are you okay honey?" She asks

"I'm fine mom. Don't worry." You reply back

"Okay well heres something to make sure you dont bump into anything." she says as she tosses you a bright red flashlight


>+1 flashlight

Your mother heads back downstairs leaving the door open. The smell of chuips, dip, and tiny wieners on toothpicks fill your nostrils. You then remember that your parents were having a party for no apparent reason

What do you do?

>Have incestious intercourse with your mother
failing that...
>Go downstairs naked

>Break aquarium with flashlight
>An hero with shards of glass

Turn flashlight

into Fleshlight.

>STEAL tiny toothpicked SNACKS

>Get sexy and flex among the ladies.

>Why aren't you dead already.

You eat the flashlight

>-1 FLASHLIGHT
>+1 FLESHLIGHT




You now wish you had thought of that before you ate the flashlight



Your mother already left so you can't have intercourse with her.
Failing that, you go downstairs NAKED the female guests and a few male guest swoon at your huge manlitude.



You start cramming your pie hole with various tiny snacks



You start thinking "What would my sexy hero, Trygve, do?" You start flexing your nakedness for all to see the women start coming on to you. You choose the sexiest of them all and start fornicating in the punch bowl.

>-1 virginity



Because you are busy fornicating in the punch bowl. PAY ATTENTION ODDS

Well you're finally posting !
We were waiting for you !
And that was worth it.

>re-evaluate this whole "killing oneself" thing now that you found out you could just get any girl through flashing (litterally) your dong

>change class to MANLY MAN GUY

> Attempt to drown yourself in a puddle of fruit punch

You start thinking about your day so far, whilst trying to drown yourself in the punch bowl, your new naked girlfriend standing nearby.

Lets see:

You decide to kill yourself,
you ate a flashlight
you got naked
you stole all of your mother snacks
and you started humping a very attractive brunette in the punchbowl

This seems like a very full day to you and a well lived life. Maybe you shouldn't kill yourself. But instead, help others to kill themselves. Yeah, thats it. You become the sucidal helper..Or something to that effect. You are still thinking of a cool super hero killer name.

Also, the attractive woman's name was Charlene.

She was wearing a very tight dress that hugged her curves ever so nicely and she was not wearing a bra. Of course now that doesnt matter.

She had lucious blue eyes and a a voice like an enchantress.

>Nickname newly caught girlfriend?



You have now switched classes to MANLY MAN GUY which makes charlene even more attracted to you, and you two start having sex again.
The sheer "being in the roomitude" cause all other men and family members to dissapear into mid air.

You are now stuck in a room full of attractive women, it is still raining outside.

What do you do?

Excuse me, stuck?