AWKWARD ZOMBIE

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:44 am 
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WouldYouKindly pretty much just listed all of my favourites.

But it needs more Russell Howard:
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And Sean Lock of course.

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Last edited by Octopus-Droid on Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:46 am 
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Seinfeld.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:54 am 
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George Carlin


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:05 am 
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Firestorm wrote:
George Carlin


Yeeeesssss.

Why did I not mention him?


Patton Oswalt
"With Obama and Biden in charge, our government has basically become a really cool cop show."

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:15 am 
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Daniel Tosh

"I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun."

Doug Stanhope

"Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a tiddy bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist."

Bill Hicks

"They're putting the cart before the horse on this pornography issue. Playboy doesn't cause sexual thoughts. Sexual thoughts exist and, therefore, there is Playboy. Do you see? … You know what causes sexual thoughts? I'm gonna clear the air for you tonight. I'm gonna end this debate, hopefully once and for all while on this planet, 'cause outer space awaits our presence, we are better and more unique creatures than this and all eternity is our playground, so let me go ahead and clear this one issue up once and for all and let's move on to real issues. Can we? Great.

Here's what causes sexual thoughts: having a dick.
"


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:50 pm 
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Torizo wrote:
Mitch Hedberg

awww yeah

I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.

I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.

Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a bunch of people that I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated and not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand? I want a chair too!

may he rest in peace

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Last edited by Superior Bacon on Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:24 pm 
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Mitch Hedberg is awesome.

"What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable."

"I would imagine that the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is... fucking... clean."

"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?"

"I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket."

Also, more Daniel Tosh.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:33 pm 
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Eddie Izzard

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Tales wrote:
[20:54:03] George: fun fact: I have only seen my friends dads dick


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:33 pm 
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Demetri Martin

The audience is really really eager, geez

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:36 pm 
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WouldYouKindly wrote:


Game Angel wrote:


:D


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:42 pm 
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TheBlackFeather wrote:


OH GOD YES.

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betrippin wrote:
Wow that took off like a golden rocket fueled by cheetah blood


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:47 pm 
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Bill Bailey, indefinitely.

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it.

You're absolutely right, Hitler was a vegetarian. It's very unseemly to think so, but there he was. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:49 pm 
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How about some musical comedy?

Stephen Lynch

Da Vinci's Notebook

Jon Lajoie


Last edited by Firestorm on Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:50 pm 
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I loved Carlos Mencia until the 2008 election campaign. Then he became really political and republican and not funny. :C

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:00 pm 
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theres another good musical comedian, but i cant remember his name
hes got reeeeally big hair

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Tales wrote:
[20:54:03] George: fun fact: I have only seen my friends dads dick


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