AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I went to a local Transgender youth support group tonight.



I waited half an hour and nobody showed up. Probably because of the snow Tulsa is getting.
Because it's Friday and I was a nervous wreak waiting for this meeting that never happened I've decided to get drunk.




Also RIP in peace Mr. Neemoy. I'll be watching all the episodes you appeared in the Simpsons.
As is the norm for all American celebrity grief.

Oh wow for a second I thought you posted a picture of an empty room to just show that there is no such thing as a trans support group near you.
daisies fine chandelier, though. It seems to be hanging at roughly chest/face level.


Getting wasted for celebrities dying is probably my favorite American tradition.
Everyone got drunk and watched Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams passed, even if they won't admit it.

Bullshit, I didn't do that.

I watched Jumanji instead. And also I didn't get drunk because no alcohol allowed in the dorms at my old school.

Jesus! Where do you go, BYU?

I used to go to Arizona State.

Also sorry to hear that the support group didn't happen.

It's fine really.
I really just went to get information on how other people in my area were transitioning so I could get a firmer grasp on my situation.
I didn't go to find support or sympathy.

I'm not out to anyone outside of this forum yet but when I am, and I know who my true friends are, that will be all the support I need.
Also you guys have helped me Immensely.

Also there is only two episodes Nimoy appears in. The X-files crossover in season 8ep10 and the fan favorite Monorail episode written by Conan O'brian (season4ep12).
Both are fantastic.

I think it's really courageous of you to follow your heart, also considering the environment you are in. I am proud of you.

Thank you Terraem. Really.

Because I've determined I would actually go through with this I've been a nervous wreck lately. Too stressed to sleep right. I woke up at 3am the other day, threw up, and stayed up till 6am making this thread. I knew I would have to tell someone, to get this off my chest, the worry of my closest friends and family judging me and excluding me was tearing me apartlisa.

So I came out to my roommate whose been my friend for years.
He said he always thought I was gay or something but it doesn't really bother him and was just curious of how the thought would even occur to someone.

I asked if he had any questions, and he simply uttered "why?"
I was taken aback at the question, as I've always felt this way ever since I could remember. I tried to explain that its how I feel, who I am, and my life would be easier if I didn't have these feelings. But I do. And I want this. He seemed to understand that and we ended up talking about dumb cards games and shows like we usually do late into the night.
He's a pretty awesome friend.

I have never felt more stress free than I do right now.
It's like the numbness of self-loathing that I was feeling for feeling too different for anyone to like just got switched off.
Holy shit how can this happen.

Lemme tell you how it happens:
When you realize you're anything but 100% straight, you also tend to realize that everyone assumes everyone is straight by default. Everyone does this, barring abnormal circumstances (like you wouldn't default assume straight if you met someone at a pride event or something).

So once you have that realization you start to feel guilty and pretty bad. You know that not everyone will support or approve of you, and that adds to the stress. Stress compounds over time, like the interest on your student loans - it just gets worse and worse and worse. The shit icing on the student loan cake (analogies woo) is that you also feel like you're lying to everyone you know and meet by withholding such a big secret (at least, this is how I and several people I talk to have felt), and letting them assume the wrong thing.

So by telling someone - ANYONE - it's a massive weight off of your chest. They know the truth, you no longer feel like you are lying to that person.

The bad part is that the coming out is (unless you are a total emotionless sociopath) incredibly difficult to do, but when you do you feel like you just climbed a mountain and get to ride the relief high for a while and enjoy the view from the top.
help how do I write emotionally motivational stuff

That's super accurate CN.
And don't worry, I sure felt the emotion behind the words.

Reading this topic makes me oddly pop flyin'. You have a good friend and I hope more people in your life are equally accepting of your decision.

I went through a period of gender confusion as well and still sort of dont really consider myself as one or the other.
Ive always been more feminine than most guys ive known ever since a kid, and when i first heard about the subject of transgender in middle school I thought that must be me. I convinced my self it must be true, but looking back I was just using it as an excuse to blame my self consciousness and awkwardness. When I started spending more time online during highschool and I read the stories of others and really looked at why I thought I was transgender I realized this. I still generally call myself female when online, cause when I started creating various accounts and such online during highschool I still considered myself female and its easier to just keep saying it for continuity. While I identify as a straight male sexuality wise, i really dont mind being addressed as male or female.

Holy shit this is so awesome Kira! I wanted to get off lurking to at least give my best wishes and luck during this time <3 Congratulations and keep up updated!

This is wonderful Kira! May everything keep getting better. c:

Thank you Chopstix and Winchester! The support means a bunch.

I was supposed to go to the support group and again but had to work. Guess there's always next week.

I was playing DnD with my roommate and his sister's family, I was playing a half Drow lady. Anyway during my chaotic shenanigans I was called a bitch and it made me happier than it should.