AWKWARD ZOMBIE

His name is Sir Cranzibald, and he doesn't take kindly to those who shorten it to "Sir Cran" or jokingly call him "Sir Cranberry". Oftentimes they find themselves doing very unpleasant duties for the foreseeable future. Like helping bake cakes with the Princess.

A Princess Quest?! I am so in!! Ahahaha, all the fan art! But wait, her name isn't Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third? (But you can call her Dot.) That's disappointing.

But oh dang, it's a role play thing? I might wanna do this, but I've been busy lately.. Can I be a hilarious guy side character to be introduced later for a few scenes or something?

We'll find you something, Angelic!

Say, what world is our kingdom set in? Is it a fantasy world with tons of dragons and the like, or a sci-fi world with lasers everywhere? Ooh, can it be both?

I think we're gonna stick with a fantasy world.

So, would you say that whenever Cranzibald's name is shortened, he's cranky?

You get to be the Princess's personal diary writer.

I think I'll get into this if it goes anywhere.

If there's enough support, it will. And we won't be in the castle forever, we'll be going places.

Also I'm gonna give people until like 6 PM tomorrow before Kamak takes the role.

OK, so since Kamak has been the only one to sign up so far, I'm calling it now.

Congratulations, Kamak. Feel free to write an introduction for your character, or I can write one for you if you want.

Remember, other people can still include their own characters later. How this will basically work is people with characters will respond to suggestions, and then I'll respond to suggestions for Emilia, and finally advance the plot a bit.

Sir Cranzibald was waiting outside the doors to the throne room. The princess had not arrived on time at the specified meeting place and he was clearly worried. Actually, he was pretty sure she forgot where she told him to meet her and misremembered it as another place. Typical.

However, while her tardiness irked Sir Cranzibald-- a man of staunch moral fiber and diligence-- he took solace in knowing that he had a moment of reprieve from her shrill voice and rampant narcissism. He began to look back fondly on his time in the service of the Royal Guard of Rossodin. All of the horrifying sights and cruel deaths of his men at the hands of the more capable Azurian "monsters". Yes, despite the sheer terror he felt back then, and how relieved he was to be made of some use to his captors and escape slaughter, he never imagined he'd eventually rise up through the ranks and become the right arm of the most dreadful monster of the Azurian Realm.

Well, maybe he was overplaying her negative features too much. At least she was too busy baking cakes to actually go out and personally slaughter her people.

Still, had he been a man to dream, Sir Cranzibald would delight in the notion that at some point he'd be able to return to his fair kingdom and be done with the blithering idiots he was encompassed by. His true princess was no great charmer either in etiquette, but she was a much more manageable personality, tempered by her disciplinarian royal parents.

But, that was enough daydreaming for now. The halls of hell certainly don't maintain themselves, and for the foreseeable future, Sir Cranzibald was in charge of curating it for the young red devil Princess.

Maybe he'd even slip in a mention of her popularity amongst the princesses slipping dangerously towards third in the recent poll. Oh how much joy such a small moment would give.

(Since Kamak is in the game, from now on, I'll indicate which character I'm controlling beforehand.)

Emilia:

You try your best to stay patient a little longer, but OH MY GOSH WHERE IS THAT MAN. Finally you decide to take matters into your own hands. Ooh, when you find Sir Cranzibald, you're just going to....to.... Ugh, you honestly forget why you hired him in the first place.

You open the doors leading out of the throne room, step out into the grand hallway, water cascading down the walls on either side into narrow pools, and OH. He was....here...the whole time....apparently. What on Earth is he doing out here?!? You stand in front of him, give him your sternest glare, and WOW LOOK AT THOSE PECS. You suddenly remember why you hired him in the first place!

OK, OK, calm down, Emilia. Muscles aren't everything there is to a man. OK, except maybe Cranzibald. You imagine he's like, what, 80% muscle? Whatever, you're getting distracted again. You press down the wrinkles in your gown with your hands, and then fold your arms. Very sternly. You are a figure of authority and you will be treated as such.

Although, you do still feel bad whenever you look at him. Being a prisoner of war certainly couldn't have been easy. And in a war against your future best friend, no less. It's a good thing Green came along and was decidedly more awful than you and Red. You suppose you should thank her for that much, at least. Still, you feel a twinge of....umm....hang on....the word's on the tip of your tongue....sympathy? Yeah, that's it! Sympathy for the Captain. You keep meaning to return him to Red, but he's kind of needed in the sense that every other soldier in this castle is an IDIOT. Really, he should be grateful for the job security, in your opinion. When the day comes when you have to relieve him, you will certainly be remiss to see him go. You couldn't ask for a better helper when it comes to baking cakes.

You let out a tired sigh and fold your arms, resuming your stern gaze from earlier. An explanation for Cranzibald's tardiness is in order, and he knows you want one, and you know he knows you want one. Of course, you aren't going to outright ASK for it! Obviously that would completely demean the air of authority you've so delicately constructed for yourself. You clear your throat a couple times, tap your foot, and raise an eyebrow pec-wise. This had better be good...

(I like that, let's go with that. Kamak can add some insight later.)

Emilia:

Wow, Cranzibald is really standing his ground! But fine, then. He wants to play this game with you? You'll play this game. The two of you stand there in complete silence for a solid two minutes, unflinching, neither one of you looking away for an instant. Little does this smart aleck know, you've had WAY more experience in stare-downs than he has. You've got this one in the bag. You...will....win......

OK, your eyes are starting to dry out. But the instant you blink, he'll have you beat. You can tough it out. You're a tough girl. Toughness and beauty and grace and wisdom run through your vei-OH GOSH YOU HAVE TO PEE. Nononononono, not now, can't you see how important this is, bladder?!? Why why WHY did you have those waterfalls installed in the grand hallway?!? I mean, it looks really pretty and goes with your whole motif, but this happens every time you step out of your throne room!

This is bad. This is really, really bad. What will you do now?

(Remember that you can suggest things for both Emilia and Cranzibald.)