AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Goddamnit it's 1 am I'm trying to sleep stop moaning your room is in front of yours I can fucking hear you at least be quiet while having sex

Start yelling stuff like FASTER, HARDER, OH YEAH and such. Hope that it creeps them out.

I don`t wanna make any assumptions here, but it really sounds like you have an eating disorder.

Random story: A few years ago I was at the dentist for a checkup, and he pointed out the bit underneath my tongue that keeps it in place. Apparently it goes up further than most other people which makes it a bit less mobile, at least upwards that is. And then he asked me if I'd like him to snip the end to let it loose, citing one reason (while my mom was in the room) as, "if you're ever with a girl, it might make you better at facebattling, you know".

I didn't get it since of course I was terrified of the idea of just slicing the thing.

Is that why you cannot satisfy Lyra?

Oh, you did not just go there

Dear lord.

Oh snap.

inb4 shitstorm

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Parents out of town. Couldn't find my bathing suit for the jacuzzi, but it's pitch black outside.

Skinny dip ahoy.

So, I was foolin' around with the boyfran tonight, and his step-dad just walked up to his door and tried walking in. Luckily we locked the door, but holy shit it was terrifying.
But you'd think that all the times that he's walked in on us putting our clothes back on, he'd learn to either knock/not come up to our room late at night.

Something similar happened to me Unba but at a much earlier age (or atleast it sounds the same), and I needed to have an operation and then I was taught how to speak properly again (I was only 5 so it wasn't a terrible deal) and pronounciation and stuff. Supposedly it could've been avoided if the doctor noticed it earlier and removed it when I was still a baby but they didn't.