AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Once was jokingly accused of wearing a "pedophile" coat to writing class. I laugh. Reach into my pockets...and pull out several full size Hershey Bars and a restraint.






Now before you judge, the Hershey Bars were left over from some people on campus trying to make smores. They bought a bunch of supplies, made a few smores, and then realized that it takes approximately half a bite of a smore to feed a small African nation. So they had a bunch of candy to get rid of. I tossed them in my pocket and left them there. The "restraint" was the belt that went to the trenchcoat. I had stowed it in when I didn't feel like messing with it.

That moment when you're exiting a public restroom, and there's someone outside waiting to use it.

I always hold the door open for them and I feel weird about it.

There is usually some sort of muttered pleasantry involved.

I don't know if this is correct.

You're obviously supposed to stay in there with them

Hold the stall door open for them.

usually instead of opening the door to find them standing there I usually end up pushing it open in a such a way that it surprises and injures them.

I am the violent opener of restroom doors. I break all the noses.

I've posted about my interacting with my ex's father before, right?

A few days ago, I asked him for advice on some car work that we were doing, since he's the collision repair teacher at my school.
This went over well.



except that my display name was set to "Yiff-it Yorick"

Why would you ever

It's like that old email you made on yahoo back when you discovered how to do it, but weren't quite old, or wise, enough to NOT make it something ridiculous.

I buried that old e-mail name years ago.

Blame my Skype friends.

Unrelated: I met someone yesterday and spontaneously developed a silly crush
we shook hands after the event (it was a school competition) and our fingers were a jumbled mess, I'm not totally sure what our thumbs were trying to do
I think my policy of making eye contact with people was a hindrance

That was a bit awkward but the real awkward moment is the point somewhere in the future when I try to socialize with her

Oh that reminds me of what happened to me a few years ago. I was walking in the mall and I had walked by a group of girls.
You know how you swing your arm back and forth when you walk? I guess me and this girl had to be in sync because when we walked by each other our hands swung back and we interlocked fingers. So like we held hands for a split second before letting go. We both kept walking but had looked back at eachother and laughed.

It was pretty funny and awkward.

I gave a hug to my friend in the car (which is always an ankward time because there's sitting parallel to each other is not good for hugs) and we had that moment of hesitation where we don't know which direction to lean, as in I went for the right and he went for left then right, and then my glasses stabbed him in the eye.

I was seriously concerned it would start bleeding or he would end up with a black eye or something

You wouldn't stab a guy with glasses, would you?

Hanging with Breanna's family the other day. Bre hugs me from behind, I forget what I was doing, but her hug was quick. I guess she walked off cuz I turn around to hug her....

And hug her sister instead. I swear to god her family is a clan of super speed ninjas.

On Friday my friend and I were dicking around in economics class and I was using TeamViewer to bypass the school's Internet block. Anyways my laptop has Windows 8 so I had all these motherfuckin apps running and I had no idea I had my photos app running and it had all my upstanding member of society Pokemorph shit showing. I quickly minimized it and I hesitated to restore the window considering I was in a computer lab with a bunch of normals hanging around. Eventually I made a feeble attempt to cover the screen and switch apps when my friend saw my little drawing and he said he "saw that". I told him, "What, why are you looking at my upstanding member of society porn? (even though it wasn't porn)" and he just looked away and chuckled and continued playing his game. Crisis averted, though I was sweating profusely and I dropped spaghetti from my pockets.