AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The temperature drops to absolute zero and you are frozen solid, before being discovered a century later and put on display in a museum.

I wish I could take a pencil to a tank fight and win.

Granted, you win but are hanged for witchcraft

I wish people weren't so dumb

Granted, everyone is now smarter than you.

I wish people weren't so smart.

Granted, the world falls apart because noone has the brains to do anything right anymore. Doctors, lawyers they all just fuck around, pretending to know what they're doing.


I wish people wouldn't wish for wishes that are flawed enough on their own.

Granted, now every kid is a sad kid crying in the corner because they have nothing to dream about in the future.

I wish i got on this site more often.

granted. U realize that this forum is too awesome for you, but you still stay.
Eventually your eyes melt out due to the awesomeness and you never are able to play castlevania again.

I wish I was pop flyin'.

Granted, but at the cost of making everyone else in the world sad.

I wish I had an easier time putting my thoughts into words :T

Granted, every single thought you have immediately comes out of your mouth, and you are constantly punished and shunned for being mean to everyone.

I wish I could time travel.

Granted, but you can only travel into the future at the same speed you are already doing so.

I wish for the next person to post in this thread to have their wish come true.

Granted. His wish is evil.

I wish all jews were dead.

Granted, they all die and follow you as ghosts for eternity, talking about their religion and their ways every second.

I wish I had Portal 2.

granted. You accidentally get nickel poisoning and go blind.

I wish I could think of a funny comic to make.

Granted. You make the funniest comic ever to exist, and millions of people die from laughter just reading it. The ones who survive and are dumb enough to beg for more like crack addicts demand that you make another one. However, since this is the funniest comic, you are never able to surpass it humor-wise, and people become bored. Eventually, all the other comic artists shut down from inferiority complexes and lack of funds, and you are the sole comic-writer to exist. All this pressure on you to make another funny comic eventually shuts down your brain. You die, knowing that you caused the deaths of countless millions and crushed the dreams of other aspiring comic artists.

I wish this beef jerky hadn't dried up.

granted, but no one gets the joke except you.

I wish i had a good job.

Granted, you had a good job, but you don't anymore.

I wish THE POWER DIDN'T JUST GO OUT AND ERASE SEVERAL HOURS OF SIDEQUESTS.