HEY GUYS
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS
IT'S
TIME FOR CHAPTER THREE!
So, here we have Chris ready to punch someone or something.
...That's... really all their is to say about this one.
...NEXT PAGE!
First, we see what Chris is doing that night. He's apparently hugging a pillow and thinking about Brian. Moderately creepy, but not too bad.
Take a close look at his cat. Notice how the author apparently first just drew a circle, and then added in everything else later. The result is a cat that looks horribly mutated with misplaced legs. Or maybe just a cat with broken legs.
Then we immediately skip to a few days alter. I don't see why the
first panel couldn't have
also been a few days later. It's awkward to start a chapter
right where the last one left off and then immediately skip ahead a few days in the next panel. Why not put that one panel in the
previous chapter or something?
Here we discover that Brian is late for gym. He then says the weirdest thing I've read in a while, "Ucchhh!". I have no idea how someone is supposed to pronounce "ucchhh". What does "ucchhh" mean, anyway? My guess is that it is the beginning of some sort of demonic chant, but midway through Brian decided that destroying the school wouldn't make him any less late for gym.
Something like that, anyway.
Notice that Brian is wearing a shirt with an "X" located on the right side of his chest, over his heart. I can't help but feel he means this as a target or something, as if he is saying to nearby snipers "HEY SNIPERS! IF YOU WANT TO KILL ME, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOOT THIS CONVENIENT LITTLE "X" AND YOU'LL GET ME RIGHT IN THE HEART!"
Brian thinks to himself about how he hates dealing with jocks and then OH MY GOD SPEAK OF THE DEVIL someone off-screen calls him fag.
I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE?
COULD IT BE...
JOCKS!? WOW, HOW UNEXPECTED.
Now, this is probably one of my favorite panels in the book. I can make a
ton of jokes about this. So, rather than just choose one, I'm going list them all one-by-one!
1. Suddenly, a trio of jocks burst out of what appears to be a locker!
A very
small locker.
That they were apparently all hiding and waiting in.
Together.
...And they're calling the
other guy a fag.
2. Oh, wait, no jocks, it's just the Three Stooges. Now all Brian has to do is wait for thing to slapstick themselves unconscious, which, knowing the Three Stooges, should probably take about thirty seconds or so.
3. Look closely at the lockers. Notice how they are curved in a strange manner, as if reality is collapsing behind them. This can only mean one thing: Brian is on some sort of hallucinogenic drug. This raises questions about the entire story. How much of it is "real", compared to how much is just imagined by Brian during his severe tripping? Is the story not actually about a boy accepting the fact that he is gay, but rather a boy trying to get over his severe drug addiction? Is Chris supposed to be symbolic, maybe representing rehabilitation?
This book gets more mysterious by the
page.
4. Here we see three people completely incapable of posing as a team properly. First, let's look at the one on the left. He's probably the best at dramatically posing in the group, which doesn't say much. He seems to be going for the "smooth" look, what with the way he's leaning back and that "look at you with my head facing to the side" thing. However, generally people try to use that pose when they want to look "sexy" or something along those lines. However, that doesn't fit his team's purpose at all. He shouldn't be trying to look sexy in front of a guy when they're making fun of him because he's
gay. It's a conflict of interest.
Then there's the guy in the middle. His knees are bent in quite possibly the most awkward position possible. I'm pretty sure if I tried to stand like that for more than a few seconds my legs would break. His right (our left) arm is also incredibly awkwardly placed, as if he's grabbing his pants for some reason. What he doesn't realize is that dramatic team poses should look somewhat
symmetrical, which is especially true for whoever's in the middle. His stance, however, is as imbalanced as hell.
Lastly, there's the third guy. I have no idea what this guy was even
trying to do. He has his hands slightly in front of him, as if he's holding something, but he isn't holding anything at all. He just looks like he has a horrible stomach ache and he's holding his stomach, except the stomach ache is somehow located several inches
away from his actual stomach. For some reason, he also appears to be thrusting his crotch forward. Why? Who the hell knows.
I give them a 1.3 out of 10. Poor effort, guys.
Annnd that's enough for now. NEXT PANELS!
Look at the look of pure
rage in that jock's face. I have never seen more rage in one place in my entire life. He looks
so daisies angry that I'm surprised he isn't trying to
crush everything around him for their horrible crime of
existing.
It's even
contagious. I dare you to look at the picture for more than 10 seconds without feeling a little bit of rage at nothing in particular building up inside of you. You
can't. It's downright
amazing.
The jocks then prepare to beat the shit out of Brian or something (how do they even know he's gay, anyway?).
Chris then wakes up at 9:55, late for school. That's
really sleeping late. If his schools is anything like my school, he'd have to wake up at six to be in time. That means he slept in
four hours later than he should have. That is a
lot.
Also, here's something fun and interesting to try. Whenever a character has their mouth open, imagine that their open mouth is actually a classy white mustache, and that the little line on their chin is actually their mouth. It makes the characters seem at
least three or four times more classy.
A mailman then hands a letter to Chris in the first panel and- wait wait wait only an
hour late? Does his school start at
nine? Why can't my school start that late? Being able to actually
sleep would be great!
Anyway, Chris gets Li's letter personally handed to him by the mailman. Because mailmen will totally do that instead of just shoving the mail in the mailbox.
Chris is understandably very upset by the letter. So upset, in fact, that the great Triangle Army shows up behind him to take a break from their quest for world domination to comfort him. What nice guys.
Chris then pffffftahahahaHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry guys. I just can't look at that top panel without
bursting out laughing. I mean,
look at it. The art style is suddenly
wildly different (but just as bad) and it's just... I don't know,
funny, for some reason.
I don't even have to make a joke about this one. Just stare at it for a little while. The laughter will come soon enough.
Brian, meanwhile, is still getting bullied by the jocks. I'm not why they're saying that there's no use yelling. After all, if Brian is
late for gym class, then that means gym class is in session. Locker rooms are generally located right next to the school gym. You'd think that people in the gym could hear him if he yelled.
It suddenly occurs to me that the three jocks look like older versions of Square-On-Shirt-Kid, Shit-Hair, and Faceless Lad. I guess they went through accelerated aging after Brian told them to stop bullying Faceless Lad. And then Faceless Lad became a jerk too.
Anyway, the bullies continue beating the shit out of him. It's pretty nasty and serious and all that. You can almost take the book seriously for a little while.
Of course, as usual, you can't take it seriously for very long, as Chris suddenly appears, and it turns out that...
...
HE'S REACHED THE NEXT LEVEL OF SUPER-SAIYAN!
SUPER TWO-PAGE AWKWARD KICK
ATTTAAAAAAAAAAAACK.
Based on those movement-line-things, Chris appears to be jumping up and kicking at quite possible the
strangest angle possible.
What Chris doesn't realize is that he's
clearly attacking the wrong jock. Look at his legs. He was
clearly just trying to imitate some great Michael Jackson moves! And then suddenly Chris runs in and kicks him
right in the face.
ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS DANCE, CHRIS.
Chris and Brian then start punching all them Jocks
right in their stupid faces, although Chris and a jock take a break in the second panel to have a dance-off. Check out those sweet moves. daisies, I wish I could dance like that.
Chris then threatens to
truly finish off one of the jocks. I love the look on the jock's face. He's not even
looking at Chris. He's just looking in shock in like the complete opposite direction, like he didn't realize a wall was there before or something. He's not even
paying attention.
Heh, I bet you guys thought Chris was doing this for Brian. Well, you're
wrong. He was doing this for
Li. You know, Li, the guy that has nothing to do with this whatsoever. The guy who, as far as we know, wasn't even bullied for being gay. Chris is doing it for
that guy. Not the one who was about to be horribly burnt by a cigarette. No, that would make
sense.
Anyway, Brian tells Chris that maybe killing another student in the middle of a school wouldn't go over so well, and that they should quit while they're ahead. They decide to go to Chris's house. Which is weird, since I'm
pretty sure that they still have school and that they're now sneaking out of school and going. Not exactly the best way to avoid trouble.
Chris starts talking to Brian about how upset he is about Li's apparent suicide. Brian then starts talking about how he hopes they don't get suspended, because bringing that up while Chris is busy mourning over the loss of his friend is an
excellent idea and a
great way to help him get through this hard time.
I swear, the words "MEANWHILE, IN CHINA" appear more in this book then in any other book in existence.
Li decides to finally send Chris a message explaining that he is not, in fact, dead. He decides to send this message via
telegram stop
This book was published in 2006 stop
WHY ARE THEY USING A TELEGRAM stop
Do phones like, not
exist in China stop
Because I'm pretty sure telegrams don't exist in the U.S. anymore either stop
I think the author just has something against normal means of communication stop.
AND THAT'S THE END OF CHAPTER THREE stop
I think it's worth mentioning that I have not left out a single page
or panel throughout all of Chapter 2
and 3 stop
So, if any of the transitions seem bad, it's actually
that bad, and not just a result of me leaving out some parts stop
ONLY TWO MORE CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGUE TO GO
stop
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