AWKWARD ZOMBIE

> Realize that the people you have told to tell people important things may have failed to adequately spread said important things. And by things we mean plans for THE BEST DAY EVER which is today! They need to be reminded of important things. You should probably do that.

(As an aside, an unnamed person sent me my first Princess Quest fan fic today. Better step up your game, plebs. Actually, please don't, jail is not a place I want to be ever.)

(Ooh, do you mind if I post it here?)

DON'T. PLEASE DON'T. NO. STOP.

('kay. I'll just link it here.)

>Round up the people in charge of relaying the plan and make them do their job. Once they leave, cackle elegantly.

> Decide on a single person to blame and then fire them, possibly with real fire. Then get someone feasibly reliable to get things where they need to be for this mysterious event.

Great idea! Except YOU were the one who told everyone about today's important plans! For such an momentous occasion as this, you knew you could only rely on yourself to spread the word. That way, no one could possibly have an excuse for not getting the memo.

That was the THEORY, at least.....



Now, THERE'S a plan! After all, you certainly can't blame yourself for this. You made absolutely certain to tell each and every person in the castle individually about today's goings-on. And you are nothing if not thorough. You cycle through your list of particularly annoying people(aside from Blue), and try to figure out who best to blame. Ah! Perfect! She'll do quite nicely! You call for a particular servant of yours, a young girl who does various odd jobs around the castle. She seems willing to take on whatever work you put her in front of, and her family has a history of excellent servitude, so you figured she'd be the perfect choice to do the various simple, minor tasks required in the castle.

Well, you'd be wrong! Every time you turn around, that girl is making some mess or another out of her job. Dropping expensive plants, tripping and falling into your garden, spilling juice ALL OVER YOUR BRAND NEW HAND STITCHED SILK TAFFETA GOWN, the list goes on. You've considered firing her before, but every time you make an attempt, she gives you the biggest, saddest eyes she can muster, accompanied by ample tears. You don't know whether you find the display more annoying or pathetic. And yet every time you tell her she has "one more chance", and her face lights up as she skitters away to go make another mess. Well, no more. You are DEAD SERIOUS this time.

You send for your future ex-employee, and she arrives within minutes. Her plain shoes drag the ground as she slowly walks toward you, and she looks down at her hands, constantly wringing them together. She bows once she reaches the throne, then flinches as you stand up. The girl is trembling like she's having the worst blood sugar dropout of her life.
"Y-you c-c-c-called for m-m-me, p-p-princess?", she says in a shaky voice.
"Yes, well, I hate to inform you, but your services are no longer required.", you say shortly and tartly. "Collect your last payment from Mr. Branford before you leave."
"B-b-but I d-d-didn't even break anything t-t-today!", the girl stammers. Oh boy, here we go. The waterworks are about to start. You're ready for her this time, though. You turn your head off to the side, not once taking even a glance at her.
"The difficult economic climate as of late means that some people have to be let go out of necessity", you reply. "Unfortunately, you are one of those people."
The girl sniffles and chokes back tears. "Y-Your M-Majesty...."
A man's voice rings out from the throne room door. "I would strongly advise you reconsider, princess." Dog. FREAKING. GONE IT. That voice belongs to the absolute LAST person in this castle that you want to talk to right now. You turn to see if there's even a slim chance that the voice belongs to someone else, but no, it's him all right. Your royal adviser. You roll your eyes and motion for him to enter. He doesn't hesitate at your invitation and walks swiftly to the girl's side. While his robes flow behind him in his stride, his combed, short dark hair is completely still. He bows before you and pushes up his thin glasses as he rises. Now what does this smart aleck want? While you're at it, you might as well make the effort to remember his name.

>Royal Adviser Jarjayes. He's R.A. Jarjayes.

> Hanswell Dudekoff. He'd be pretty bro if he didn't cramp your style all the time.


(Also as a side, many kudos for using low blood sugar as an actually funny simile that doesn't poke fun at those kinds of problems; I'm type 1 diabetic and waaay too tired of the typical humor using that and other diseases)

Gustaf VonBrandt, whatever it is he's here about it had better not ruin things...

Johannes Klosterheim. A tall, frail looking man who exudes self-importance yet knows when to grovel, a perfect fit for royal advisor, if he wasn't SO DAISIES MOUTHY. Honestly, it's like he's only serving you because you're the best, which you are, no questions about that.

Be the girl

Your name is Goofball McScrewup. Or at least that's what you'd name yourself if you were allowed to. Your given name is Ivy Truman, but you don't feel you're deserving of such a name.

You just narrowly avoided being fired, yet again. If it wasn't for the royal Advisor, you'd be sleeping in the cold tonight for sure! He and your dad knew each other, and you feel that's the only reason you haven't been fired yet. That, and you become a blubbering mess anytime the princess scolds you, so you have sympathy going for you!

Your family has been serving the royal family for generations and it seems everything you do just disappoints them further. Your father says you were cursed with clumsyness because of a bet he made with a traveling witch, but you doubt that's true. He's probably just trying to make you feel better, making you think your short comings are out of your control when in reality you're just not good at anything.

SIGH

While the princess's attention is towards the advisor (she's probably trying to remember his name again) you decide to slip away to your quarters and paint something. Painting pop flyin' little trees always calms you down.

(Sorry for no update yesterday, I was doing the school thing.)



Thanks! I wasn't even aware of potential diabetes jokes I could have made there! But if it bothers you, I will do my best to avoid jokes I'm unaware of in the future!



(SUDDEN PERSPECTIVE CHANGE BECAUSE THE WRITER IS A DINGUS

ALSO SOMEONE CAN BE THIS GUY IF THEY WANT

FJHABLGHALGKJH)

Your name is Gustaf VonBrandt. Despite your foreign name, you were born right here in Verdenia. OK, well, maybe not RIGHT here, in the throne room, but still born in the castle. You are the Royal Adviser to Princess Acacia, just as your father was the Royal Adviser to her father. Your father taught you everything you know about maintaining the royal household, and you took to it wholeheartedly. Sadly, and also quite oddly, he passed away around the same time as the princess', and perhaps out of sympathy, the princess immediately chose you as her own adviser.

You are well known in the court for keeping a level head in the face of Her Highness' antics, garnering you nearly as much respect as she has herself, but hardly as much fear. Despite her temper and conceited way of living, you hold the princess in high regard. You know she means well.....most of the time, at least. As such, you have made it your daily mission to remind her of her love for her kingdom, and to make sure she doesn't do something COMPLETELY bat crap insane. You also serve as an ambassador of Verdenia to the other nations. Acacia has certainly complained on numerous occasions about not having complete control of foreign diplomacy, but you have stood your ground firmly on this issue. Best to let someone more.....charismatic handle diplomatic arrangements.

Your absolute favorite thing in the world is your collection of books. Fiction, nonfiction, horror, romance, mystery, history, you really don't care what the genre is, if it's got words on a page, you'll read it. You've even gone so far as to have your private room installed above the castle library. Ideal for late-night reading, and it's completely silent there, just the way you like it. You suppose that's the one issue you have with your monarch: You could certainly do without all the shouting. Ironically, despite your desire for peace and quiet more often than not, you certainly are well-versed! How did the princess put it? Ah, yes, she often refers to you as a "walking dictionary", which is a bit of a misnomer, you think. A thesaurus would be a more accurate metaphor, which, conveniently, you always carry a copy of whenever your weighty word bank runs dry, something that happens rather infrequently.

Finally, you are somewhat of an amateur sorcerer. You are able to cast a wide variety of spells, but the potency of your incantations is mediocre at best. There are far more accomplished spell casters in the world, you're sure, but you're satisfied with what you have. It definitely has helped you perform your duties, allowing you to accomplish tasks you would otherwise be unable to, and once or twice it has been useful in solving disputes between castle staff. The princess has magic potential as well, far more than you do, and she is capable of casting minor spells as well, but she is much less diligent in practicing the arcane arts than you, as she finds the exercise "icky".

Anyway, the girl you stopped Princess Acacia from firing is a personal acquaintance, and the daughter of one of your father's close friends. You feel truly sorry for her, as she often finds herself subject to the princess' irate behavior. It would probably be best for you to ascertain the source of Acacia's frustration and come up with a suitable solution.

What will you do?

(Remember to write for Green and/or VonBrandt!)

(Being VonBrandt seems like a big task, so I'll just write some actions for him now.)
>VonBrandt: Order Ivy to start mopping the entire throne room with a bucket of water, a clean rag, and a bar of soap. After all, not even SHE could mess that up.
>"Princess Acacia, what ails you today that you would be in such a temper?"

(He'll pretty much be like Cranzibald is for Emilia.)