AWKWARD ZOMBIE

It reminds me of this:

feelin' real lonely. It's finally gotten cold and I can't stop thinkin' about how muvh warmer it'd be if I had someone to cuddle with, all the lovey dovey posts I pass on the tumbls certainly ain;t helpin' things either./

spoiled cuz it doesn't fit the oily muscly aesthetic I've been trying to cultivate through my posts.
Or does it???

I was taking care of my puppy earlier when I randomly remembered something from when I was 7 that made me hate myself. I went to visit my father figure, and his wife's son was there so we took a couple of BB guns and started shooting cans and stuff. Anyway, we got bored and for some reason we decided it would be fun to shoot the neighbor's dog with it. I have no idea why I thought that would be fun. Past me is a god daisies asshole.

That's probably the single most cruel thing I've ever done in my life, and I had completely forgotten about it until earlier today. Now it's going to eat at me for a while.

Basically all my plans for the immediate future depend on one thing happening that I'm not sure I'll be accepted to.

I now realize that I associate my drawn representation of me as being "me" more than my actual three-dimensional appearance.

I keep forgetting various thing about what I look like and go into a mild panic whenever I look at a mirror as I don't particularly recognize ReflectAirra anymore.

I'm really uptight about people telling me to do anything I don't want to do in games, especially if it's cosmetic or playstyle thing that doesn't affect them.

Less so about it now, but I've cut ties with groups in games I'm sort of getting into because of this.

I fear that I am horribly underprepared for an alien invasion. The only responses I have to meeting an extraterrestrial face to face is to either ask if they are legal aliens, or insist that if they're gonna probe me, they had daisies well better buy me dinner and get me drunk first. And that we agree on a safe word.

That's assuming the Aliens pay you any mind at all...

Well, typically alien invasion scenarios show them going after everyone, and doing whatever to any human they encountered.

Heh, could you imagine seeing it in a movie? Aliens invade, some guy has a run in with an alien patrol, they look at him, shrug, and walk past him. Meanwhile he's standing there like "da fuck?"

I find the idea hard to believe though...
"Hey we're a sentient species that can travel light years away from their home planet to invade some other random planet."
"What should we do once we get there?"
"I dunno? Capture a few locals maybe, get some mysterious circles going?"
"Why?"
"Well I mean, what else are we going to do?"

As you may recall, I was in space for a while (I really don't want to talk about the events that lead to my return to Earth). Aliens really don't have a lot of ideas for budget-efficient entertainment, so they occasionally hop over to Earth to mess with the natives.
Y'know, when they aren't zapping each other to death with lasers and screaming guns.

Screaming guns? So, what, you use it, and instead of a projectile or directed energy beam, it will instead just scream at them?

I imagine it would make the most annoying sound in the world at them (you know, from Dumb and Dumber).

Mostly bad singing, really.

So it plays Rebecca Black?

I haven't had a nightmare in years and I kinda miss it. Is that weird?