AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Does that mean there can be only one, then?

For my latest confession:

I can't stand touching other people, even shaking their hand. Not because of EW, GERMS, but because I feel they would feel like I'm one of those people who are a bit too friendly and annoy the hell out of you, and you hope they get hit by a burning gyrocopter because JUST GO THE FUCK AWAY!

And I also feel like I'm invading everyone's personal space when I stand or sit within six feet or so.

Whoever tries to fight me gets a Wii Fit Trainer sticked up their booty

I want to see that. I have to see that.

Me and you would get along well I think. Although my reason for not touching others is because EW, GERMS.

I used to be a massive germaphobe. I remember my hands used to bleed and dry out really bad because I washed them so much. It was terrible. I'm still somewhat germaphobic, but I've more or less got a handle on it now.

I've become kinda germ-conscious as well, but I try to remember that it's not the end of the world haha. My mantra is "We all eat a handful of dirt before we die"

I was always good about keeping my hands clean, but working in a grocery store has turned me into an actual clean freak. Some of my customers are absolutely disgusting.

I'm big on cleanliness. I hate dirt so much.

Three words:
Sweaty boob cheddar

don't forget dripping wet and smelly sock cheddar

Augh, fuck, I was trying to forget about that. Or "I am very clearly still in biking shorts with no pockets and I pulled my wet cheddar out of somewhere while you weren't looking, so let's just say that I, uh, took a swim in the river and forgot my wallet. ahaha, yeah, that's totally what happened."

O.o Do you guys not have pockets?

Women's clothing typically has unusable pockets, but purses are a thing.
Men's clothing ALWAYS has pockets SOMEWHERE.

people have this weird thought that they will be jumped and robbed at any point in time so they keep their cheddar in a """secure""" location, like in their socks or plastered between their tits. Anybody with thoughts of mugging someone who has ever stood in line by a cash register knows that if you are robbing someone and they don't have cheddar, take their socks and shoes too, and get them to flash you. I guarantee cheddar will magically appear like some sort of reverse strip club.

Also it is never the showered, well-maintained type of people, either.

i may be an adult but small talk with people i don't know still terrifies me

even moreso when it's online. somehow.

Talking to people offline that I dont know makes my anxiety spike so badly. But if it's online, I feel like my screen protects me and I tell myself im just tankign to robots at first.

Whoops

I prefer to keep my hair cut as short as I can without actually shaving it (as in, with a razor).

Not because I buy into the skinhead bullshit, but because I hate messing with my hair, and it makes it easier to get the dandruff shampoo all the way to my scalp.

I get dandruff in my eyebrows, and even on my chin if I try to grow a beard. It's even worse when it's on my chin, because the skin comes off in large flakes, there's some bleed, and a bit of this clear fluid everywhere.

So no epic beard for me.