AWKWARD ZOMBIE

As a kid, go to authorative figures and hope they're properly trained to take care of such a situation. If that's not an option, it really depends on the situation.

I was bullied quite a lot in school, and to be honest still get picked on in college to a pretty large extent, by both teachers and other students. I honestly can't say whether it's the "best" way to deal with it, but I just did my best to ignore them and continue to do what was right and what I felt was best for myself regardless of how they treated me. My parents often encouraged me as a kid to just accept that they (the people bullying me) were right, and to do whatever they wanted to get them to stop treating me differently (wear certain clothes, stop liking certain things, stop volunteering in class or admitting to being knowledgeable, basically to pretend to be stupid and uncomprehending in class so people wouldn't know I understood, etc.)

Every authority figure (principals, counselors, other teachers, etc.) I turned to did the same thing my parents did (tell me I was wrong for not doing what would make others stop picking on me, and that it was right for them to bully me/wrong for me to fight it or try to stop them) or else also actively bullied me. And I mean ALL of them, from preschool until like... last year in college. Eventually I gave up seeking outside help and decided to just deal with it. I don't know that it was very good for me, but it was all I could do at the time.

I will say that after elementary school I stopped merely tolerating physical abuse from other people, and the few fights people tried to start with me in high school assuming I would react submissively like usual didn't go very well for them. But I certainly didn't "school" anyone or seek out fights, and from high school on my existence was this kind of weird wading pool where a good portion of people were really terrible to me and everyone else liked me even if I wasn't really "one of them."

Bullying is one of those experiences where it's hard to say there's any one "right" approach-- bullies themselves vary a lot. Some of them do it because they're accustomed to getting their way and don't have a mature understanding of other people's validity, some do it because they're powerless in their lives and hurting others is the only thing they understand, or something they learned through abuse themselves, or a million other things. People who are bullied are targeted for various reasons too. And of course, the circumstances a person is in matter, too-- in my case I totally tried all of the popular tacks touted at the time (explain your feelings, avoid the person, try to make friends, tell an adult, be assertive, try not to get noticed too much, etc.) and none of them worked for various reasons that were all pretty sucky anyway. Just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't work for someone else, though.

Sorry I was just joking. Anyways I was never bullied seriously so I wouldn't really know what to do. I usually just don't provoke people and they treat me nicely.

Depends on the bully.
In most cases ignoring them is the best option. It's not funny to pick on someone when they don't give a shit.

Guidelines for those being bullied: Ignore them, walk away, do whatever it takes to get them to not take advantage of or abuse you. Bullies only do what they do because it works for them. When you hold them accountable for their actions, they usually stop.

Most importantly get to an authority figure like a teacher. They are taught how to handle those sorts of situations.

On the topic of bullying, there is a excellent documentary

Here's another thing though. Not all bullying happens between children. Sometimes it happens in the work place.

My supervisor is a massive douche. After reading a pamphlet on workplace bullying I could just about high light half the content as stuff he was guilty of. He'd already been spoken to by the store manager for his behaviour and instead of fixing his attitude he turned his bullying towards a different team member. The most important thing we could do was stand up for ourselves and each other.

We're pretty lucky we have each other to talk to, for those people who aren't lucky enough to have friends in the work place should report to someone higher up and also tell as many people as possible about what's happening.

Personally I'm also keeping a diary.

Don't so that here, this thread is only for serious posts.

I can speak from 8 years of constant bullying that ignoring it doesn't work in the slightest. Not at all. Not once has anyone who has ever bullied me "gotten bored." They get their kicks not from getting a rise out of you, but from the actual act of insulting/assaulting you, regardless of whether you react or not.
The only way I've ever gotten someone to stop bullying me was to join in with them in making fun of myself. The first step is to stop giving a shit about what people think of you, and let the people you're around know who you actually are. It took me 8 years to get there, so it's not at all easy.
The second step is to join in with them. Let's use an example that happened to me just last month. "hey, did that costume come with a dick up your booty?" Instead of ignoring it or, hell, just saying no, you respond with a joke back at them "no, I had to put it there myself"
Ignoring it is itself an action that they take pride in getting. It's funny to watch someone sit there quietly when you call them names or insult them. But having them jokingly agree with it? It shows, definitively, that they don't give a shit about you or you dumb insults.
The third step is obviously to report it.

Now, as for physical bullying, in any capacity, that should immediately be reported to authority figures. As many as it takes, and as often as it takes to get them to stop. Though sometimes, yes, you will have to stand up for yourself and react to it. If you're willing to actually do something about bullying it will stop. I by no means won either of the fights that I got into, but after I actually stood up for myself, they cut it out. Both of these were back in middle school, though.

8 years of bullying hadn't stopped with ignoring it. At the 9 year mark I started laughing with them and by the 10 year mark it's all but stopped.

This part is less on topic, but it's still relevant. All that bullying got me down, waaay down. It's still affecting me today, which is why I got so worried about what my parents/peers would think about me not being straight. I still have the "hang your head low and try not to get noticed and maybe they'll leave you alone" mentality for more extreme things, and that's not a good way to meet people you'll be friends with for a long, long time.
The sooner you accept that trying to blend in to get people to stop harassing you is a bad thing, the happier you'll be. Naturally you can't go to school wearing a peacock outfit, but deliberately trying to dress in a way that you don't want to, or pretending to like things you don't for the sole purpose of getting some jackass to quit insulting you is the wrong way to go about it. Just be yourself, and you'll find friends who accept you, and even with one friend, the harshest of bullies seem like insignificant, if annoying, specks of assholery on your day.

And yes, Dire, not all bullying is in school/college. I however, can't speak from any experience on workplace bullying, so this obviously doesn't apply.

Going to an authority figure is really the only way to deal with any "kind" of bully. I remember someone like that in middle school. I told on him, and he gave me shit one more time...so I went and told on him for giving me shit about telling on him. Didn't have any issues with him the rest of the time I was there. If you want to deter something, you make it where they're guaranteed to get caught, so if you go tell an adult, and it doesn't work, just keep doing it (or go to someone else). Being the kid who "rats" on everyone may not be the best reputation, but if they're guaranteed to get shit when they fuck with you, they won't fuck with you. Besides, you won't give a shit what those dicks thought of you when you get old enough. That guy can go to hell for all I care.

As for bullying when you're an adult, just stop giving a shit. That's the nice thing about going off to college and being an adult, you don't really have to give a rats booty about anyone. I still remember when I saw someone who used to lord over me in high school in college. He tried to make conversation and I told him to eat a dick. It completely made my day.



No offense, but your parents were pretty shitty parents.

I was bullied quite a lot as a kid. You reacting isn't the fun part for them. It's just saying it. Because they know that it hurts you, no matter how much you do or don't react. And, I mean, I've seen other kids being bullied, and at times they'll do things like reply sarcastically and it's just kind of cringe worthy. And then if people don't react outright, they still have tells. They grip their pencil harder, they shake, it's that sharp inhale of breath like they're trying not to cry.

And, a lot of times, not reacting makes it worse. Because they want to hurt you. They want your reaction. If you don't give it to them they'll just try harder.

@Reyo: You must have lived in a pretty nice place if telling on someone once made them stop.

That doesn't actually work with the mentality of anyone who doesn't have a fully developed brain. Until you hit a certain stage in mental development, you are actually incapable of registering that actions in the short run that seem good now are less good in the long run than actions that don't. Granted, that's not a sudden realization, but it's still hard for someone in elementary/middle/early high school that you can just wait until you're both more mature for them to shut their traps, and you can be the one in charge of the situation.
That's why saying "wait until youre in some high paying job and theyre working at mcdonalds" doesn't work. The long run just cannot be visualized.

You have to give a solution that either stops a bully quickly, or gives you satisfaction in the slow run to the long term effect, or the person being bullied will ignore it.

I had to tell on him twice, but then again that was because he was the kind of bully who physically abused you. Every other instance I did that "ignore it" thing and it didn't do shit. I'd tell my parents, and they'd go to administration, but even they saw the shit administration was (or wasn't) doing to do anything. What ended up happening was, between Sophomore and Junior year of high school, I went to a charter school. While they were in high school classes, I was in college classes earning duel credit.

Strange thing college...smarts are actually appreciated there.



I'm also out of the pit, so I can't really speak from too much experience from high school. Honestly, in high school, I just gritted through it. Then I got lucky when I was able to move up to a charter school. If you want immediate relief, then honestly you can try a shotgun of these suggestions and still not find the right solution. The only surefire way it'll stop is when you move off well away from all of them.

I can say that being yourself is a great way to prevent it. When you do the things that make you pop flyin', you portray confidence, and when you portray confidence, no one fucks with you. It also helped that I got in shape and am no longer what people would consider a "dweeb", but that one in itself is a bit of an assholish solution. I mean...yeah...you may want to do it if not to prevent bullying but for yourself, but still...

That's actually why I get picked on in college, by both teachers and students. The worst class so far has been Foundations of Education; the teacher actually joined in with them doing this "haw haw this is you OMG I'M SO EXCITED TO BE IN CLASS, MY HAAAAAAND IS IN THE AIR, I KNOW ALLLLLL THE ANSWERS" thing every day-- this being the class that was supposed to teach us how to be teachers. And then I changed majors. Chemistry was pretty bad, too, though, and Stats.

Wow...what a cunt...

It wasn't an entry level class was it? I can't imagine that happening in classes where you're so into the subject that it's pretty safe to say it's your passion.

The last time someone gave me shit for my love of biology I got in his face. "Fuck yeah I love Biology, what's it to you?"

It's pretty much agreed here that ignoring them makes it worse. Stopping it is difficult when you don't want to engage in anything that would blow it up to becoming physical. Anyone who will threaten you will do it. Assuming anything else is risky.

Non violence resistance is the best course of action after examining the bigger examples of bullies and victims. Notably India's rebellion through Gandhi and the Civil Rights movement.
Black people and Indians were bullied mercilessly, through small acts of being constantly insulted to acts of mass murders.

It wasn't until one leader approached by not taking the bully's shit but not endorsing the violence either. Their bravery inspired others after people watched them be beaten, jailed and threatened yet still maintained a strong and enduring courage to advocate the truth.
You cannot change people. You can only call them out and have the bravery to do so without wavering even when they threaten you. It's a simple approach that has a more lasting effect then hiding in fear and hoping they'll leave you alone eventually. Being submissive fuels the flame.

Bullies become angrier the more you resist because they're slowing starting to see how ugly of a human they are. The more they control others, the more they think they can warped their reality and how they want things to be (or how they want to be perceived as by others). By destroying that vision of themselves, it's going to force them to see a side of themselves they don't want anyone else to see. That they're nothing more then a pathetic bully exploiting the weakness in others.

It can take a while for change to come. Sometimes it seems like justice never comes. But after seeing the worst of humans be brought down by waves of brave people who resist, even with guns aimed at their faces, it's kinda hard to argue against that.
Deaths occur though and it's sad that happens. It's more sad though if you live the remainder of you life being hindered by monsters.

I think I would rather die for what I believe is true then to let vicious animals sharpening their claws on me tell me what is true.