AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, but the brain-surgery backfired and you lost a lot of memories in the process.



I wish I never had to sleep.

Granted, but since sleep is necessary, you go insane.

I wish I hadn't fucked everything up.

Granted, the world is perfect, but you don't exist.

I Wish that I could come up with a good name for my garage band.

Granted, but you and your band are now cursed to be aweful forever.

I wish I hate a milkshake.

Granted, but all milkshakes are now superbly delicious.

I wish Sailor Moon lived closer.

Granted she now lives in your skull.

I wish I had never heard of /b/

Granted, but now you just have the images burned into your skull.

I wish I was pretty.

Granted.

But i'm prettier.


I wish coffee didn't hurt my stomach if i hadn't drank it without eating.

Curses

Granted, but now you can only drink coffee.

I wish this soda didn't taste weird.

Granted, but now everything else tastes weird

I wish for a barrel of cheese that isn't moldy

Granted, but on account that cheese is mold, you don't get any cheese.





I wish that the new Transformers had Jon Voight in it.

actually, cheese is curdled milk. CHeddar, for instance, has no mold on it at all.


Granted: However, he is the non-speaking bit character who is the first to die.


I wish more people would buy Tillamook Cheddar.

Well some cheese has mold because its suppose to.



Granted, but they become so greedy and corrupt that they start making their cheddar our of mold.




I wish I wasn't so daisies lazy, and then I could upload an avatar.

Off topic: Cottage cheese is moldy, it was found by a French farmer when he left some cheese in a cave for storage, and went away for along time, came back and ate the cheese. He found that the cheese hadn't lost it's taste.

On topic: You lose your laziness and all sense of sloth. You become a fitness freak and get a fantastic face with a superb body.

However, in your quest for fitness, you lose your old friends and have quite a bit of trouble making any new ones. You've also burned out the majority of your cash, leading you to a life on the streets. You look very handsome, too bad you smell horrible and live in a cardboard box.

I wish for more slinkies!

Granted, but the all the slinkies get tangled and, in your attempts to untangle them you are driven ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!!!!!!





I wish I could go to sleep.