AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I have a similar issue, which is "hold everyone to obscenely high standards and expectations" and simultaneously "assume everyone is an incapable idiot until proven otherwise".

In the end I'm just disappointed all the time. But I guess retail does that to you.

Is there enough room in the "Everyone is great but they're terrible" train for me?

I've always wanted to be a vlogger. Maybe get popular, but mainly just because it seems really fun to do. I mean, I still could, but I kind of feel self conscious about a lot of people I don't know watching my stuff, and I also don't know if anyone would even really care about what I say. Plus, it might just be embarrassing and make me look dumb.

I actually tried out vlogging at one point. I never posted any videos (thankfully) online, but I learned a lot about myself.

Like I can only talk when someone else is talking back to me. Do not ask me to talk at length about anything. Even to tell a story I can't do it - I require verbal acknowledgement and reaction from my audience every three or four sentences or I start to choke on words.

It was the most awkward minute and a half I have ever seen of myself.

I can prattle on about anything. I like having acknowledgement and feedback from the people I'm listening to, though. But if I needed to keep talking for the sake of filler or not looking suspicious or super awkward, then I could do it and do it well.

Another confession: I really like making people smile. I don't know if it's like a self gratification thing, or what, but when I see people smile I just give a tiny mental and emotional fist pump in the air. Especially if I'm making my friends smile.

I really wish i could handle stress better. I think I'm getting a little better, as in i can tell myself to handle things one thing at a time, but emotionally i still get all "oh god why is everything happening nooooo"

Are you...

Are you me?

It depends - when telling a story, do you have several trains of thought running in your head at once?

One processing the story and telling it, another anxiously fretting about embarrassing yourself, and a third that's hyperfocusing on everything your audience does?

"Yeah, so the flood waters 'crested' like five or six times according to the disaster crews, they would just update to a new optimistically low point every time the old one got passed" He nodded, he's paying attention. Good. "It ended up actually cresting like six inches up inside my garage" he blinked, good "FEMA and a bunch of local churches passed out cleanup kits to everyone in the complex" oh god he looked the other way, he hates me "They were all pretty much the same stuff, but since we had the least amount of water of everyone there we didn't really need more than like a third of one kit" oh phew it was just a customer, he's paying attention again "but we would go inside and have some lunch, then come back out and there would be two more kits sitting by the front door" oh god SAY SOMETHING PLEASE "We have so many bottles of pine sol now, like five oversized heavy duty sponges, and a ton of bleach. Not to mention three or four different kinds of mops and brooms. We have so much of this stuff we don't really know where to put it. Do people have broom closets these days? What can you even do with all that stuff besides clean up a flood, anyway?" say something nooooowwwww

"Haha, that is pretty crazy. People went over the top with the aid, didn't they?"

MY EXISTENCE HAS BEEN VALIDATED

I've tried some dog food like 3 weeks ago

i eat my pets' food sometimes

mostly the canned food, because i buy the expensive kind and it's pretty much just meat stew without enough salt, and it tastes rather nice. in an apocalypse i'd totally eat it. kibble is less so, but again, i buy the expensive kind that is made of actual meat instead of corn, and it is edible. i can see why they like it, in any case.

I thought about eating some of my cats' food, once.

The text on the bag made it sound so delicious, with a crunchy outside and meaty inside.
How does one become a cat?

I'm not a big fan of steel cage matches. Just about every spot you can do with one has been done. Rip in rip Elimination Chamber.

I hit my knee when I get frustrated with a game

I always liked Hell in a Cell the most.