AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Sometimes when I go to a class half-asleep, I fear that I'll accidentally start muttering perverted shit.

I think I should go to bed now.

Help I can't stop watching singsing twitch vods.

A while ago, I was positive about moving. Eventually doubts happen, but now the fear has settled in. I hope I'm doing the right thing in the end, I really do.

So I apparently get pretty thoughtless when passing out candy because that's apparently a task that requires intense focus of mental power. I discovered that my thoughtless response to "I like your hair" isn't "thank you", but "I know".

I take far too much amusement from a situation where:
=Person A tells Person B (often, but not always me) that something should be super easy, and they don't see why Person B needs to complain about difficulty.
=Person B mentions that if Person A thinks it's so easy, maybe they'd be able to help with the task (for example, an instrumental solo, or a class that they took an entirely different/far more simplified version of).
=Person A agrees
=Person A's face turns to unsuccessfully hidden terror as they scramble for an excuse about why they shouldn't have to demonstrate the supposed ease of the task.

Like, everyone does this a couple times in their life (lawd knows I have), but the people who do it consistently just make me look forward to the situation.

In my mind I have always had this backup plan that if I'm ever out somewhere and some creepoid tries to hit on me, I'll pretend to speak a different language.

The confession part is that I almost want it to happen because I'm curious if it would ever work.

I tried that once with a telemarketer but my tongue turned into a fat slug and all I could do was repeat the same foreign word over and over.

Better yet, just make up syllables that sound like they follow a language's phonetic system, that way the operator can't just be like, "Oh, hablas español? Tengo un oferta especial para usted..."

Actually I just want an excuse to use my conlang in public. See if it passes for a real language to someone else. Or if they do like Riku said and think it's part of another language and try using Spanish/French/other to respond.

Sometimes I forget that it's 2014.

While playing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire today I came across an old guy in one town who says something like "I wish I could lay Eggs"(referring to Pokemon Eggs). I'm playing as the female trainer and thought, "Heh, well, I can lay Eggs, bro."

And then for some reason it just hit me.

Women have EGGS.

I don't know why that struck me. I wasn't disgusted, more.....dumbfounded. That's the best way I can put it.

Also I'm playing as the female trainer. That's confession #2. The male trainer has a dumb hat.

y-yknow they're not really eggs, I hope.

They're not exactly "eggs", more like single cells that divide when fertilized
Unless you're a platypus or an echidna in which case they are most definitely eggs

Also Pokemon Eggs are apparently actually cradles. Pokemon X and Y confirmed this.

And fuck you Brendan looks bitchin' in that hat.

Yes, I'm aware of the differences between human eggs and reptile/poultry eggs. They're still called eggs.

Edit: That came out sounding more crass than I intended.



Fite me IRL.

Don't worry; I'm a girl playing as the male trainer, for almost the exact same reason. I have never, ever liked May's hair, and now she's got a dumb floppy bow.

I've noticed, though, that recently I try to play female characters whenever possible, unless their design is just terrible or something. I think it might just be due to years of having only one option, and now I must exhaust the other option to make up for it. Is that a confession? I don't know.