AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I don't keep emotions for long. I can feel really depressed, then fine within the hour. My emotions don't have a stable point besides mostly null.

I'm pretty sure that's normal.

Aw crap, seriously?

After having asked my boss about her opinion if I can wear cute clothes, it was like water slowly starting to boil. Apparently getting angry at things became my super power now, because boy are all my doubts swept away and I'm going to dress head to toe in Hello Kitty stuff and ain't no motherfucker gonna stop me


Confession #2: My boss managed to convince me to buy a boring striped adult shirt

So I've been thinking this for quite a while but I've been far, far too afraid to post it. But now I've finally thought, "fuck it", so here it is
Somebody please explain to me how trying to force your views and beliefs on sex is any different from trying to force your views and beliefs on religion.

Is it?

Well it does certainly seem that even after 200,000 years, people still act like the stimulation of specific sensory nerves (and don't even mention STDs and pregnancy, those are possible results of sex, not part of sex itself. They're also why condoms exist.) is some magical, mystical force, and that your beliefs regarding it are the natural laws of the universe. As long as your beliefs are "right".
I'm pretty certain people also think that by saying this, I'm CLEARLY stating that everyone should rape everyone whenever they want and that no one should ever have beliefs ever.

I'm not sure what you're talking about. Heteronormativity and religious morality?

Since when are beliefs of sex forced separately from religion? Besides based on religion and STD/STI/pregnancy awareness people don't really tell you how to have sex.

I've never been a movie person. I haven't been to a theater since 2011 and I don't think I've watched ten movies on TV or on the Internet since (I can only remember Koyaanisqatsi, Baraka, A Clockwork Orange, Star Wars IV, VI and then I just to see how bad it was, and Howling VII for the same reason. I tried watching Star Wars II but I couldn't resist the urge to turn it off right after Anakin's first line). Nowadays I enjoy watching people talk about movies a lot more than the actual movies.

Also I've noticed I really dislike dialogue, which might explain why I don't watch recent movies and series and stuff. They're so talkative! I marathoned some shows I watched as a kid this summer, and it was such a relief. One of them (Mirror, mirror [1995] ) had a very nice soundtrack and used it to build tension and had a great atmosphere and stuff. There was a fair amount of talking but only for meaningful stuff and not quirky characters being wacky and loud.
The drunk guys at that party watched American Dad, and augh. Every character describes what they're doing and what it means as they're doing it. ("Okay, I'm going to give you this important document, I hope you don't throw it in lava because that would really suck. Hey, did you throw that very important document I gave you in lava? That makes me angry and now I don't think I can trust you anymore because it was a very important document and you threw it in lava after I gave it to you"). It's an immensely stupid show to begin with, but man.
Also the recent Smash Bros character reveals. The only thing I could think of the first I watched the Palutena one was 'shut up shut up shut up'.
It's also why I think Journey is great. It manages to communicate so much without a single word, and after a while you can really understand your companions just by the way they interact with you.

My boss and the stand-in had a talk with me today because they're supposed to do so after 6 or 8 weeks. Even though nothing will change and they told me I turned out absolutely positive, I'm still feeling very devastated.

It seems I'm becoming one of "them", I have so many tiger themed shirts now and I know we're getting some more in next week aaaah
And what with me buying toys and decorating my place with it, and wanting to order a custom printed bag and maybe a dinosaur alarm clock.

Man, I know you're supposed to surround yourself with stuff you like and enjoy and what makes you pop flyin', but I think I got a few more screws lose than I originally thought, huh.

I worry that my professors think that I'm pulling quotations out of my booty when I cite one of the first ten or so pages in a book.

I don't want to get promoted at work because I don't want to deal with people all day. I help out more people working in and around the shelves than I would up at the front desk, plus I've been there long enough to have memorize the exact location of any book in the whole daisies library. Can't let that go to waste working behind a desk.

I tend to worry I'm not intelligent enough to do well in my education, even when teachers praise me for my work.