AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Started up a game. My sister and her friend Katlyn both made generic elf rogues. I made a Warforged Fighter. My sister's friend Emily made Spock. Emily's bro/my friend made a half gnome half warforged wizard.

My warforged fighter is obviously the party's tank, since his AC 30 means he can't be hit by any of the enemies we're up against.

This is my excuse to play dangerous. I grappled a giant ant, trying to twist its head off, until Spock grappled it instead and have me a chance for a coup de gras smashing its head in. I killed a fire beetle in one hit with my spiked chain. No one in the party can touch me.

Then we enter a hallway. Colin's gnome cyborg tries a door and sets off a pendulum trap - giant great axe swinging from the ceiling, all that shit. It misses him by one point, because of his diminutive stature.

"I'm going to catch it." My warforged walks up, sets off the trap again, and gets cleaved in half. -8 health, with Spock healing me each turn to offset the damage from my wound. That was how I learned my lesson about armor classes and traps with +15 attack bonus.
It's worth noting, though, that if the DM had rolled only two less on the die? I'd have caught that shit and snapped it off.



Afterwards, he let the cyborg gnome wizard cast reduce person, jump inside my gaping chest wound, and pilot me. It wasnt very fictionally accurate.

Also, Colin set off a spear trap.

Half our party came within an inch of death after just ten minutes clearing a cellar of rats.

Fallout: Equestria again. Our party had recently found one lost member of our favorite town that like to sell us things and hasn't been set on fire by slavers.

To get straight to the point, we were ambushed by a pair of teleporting unicorns who dropped two grenades on the party. I happened to be standing right next to one and thanks to the game's explosive rules, survived with barely a burn. Fun times

Another Cockfighting Society Tabletop story...er...more stories! This is the story of our first session with the "epilogue campaign" (aka Post-Mewtwo).

So, I started playing a Petrologist (fossil nut, for those system-unfamiliar) named Roxie. I walk up to the trainer school to look for the library, and encounter Antonio (played by our friend KT), a "Black Belt". Antonio is in the preschool class, but he's easily in his early 20s, as his dad never taught him about Cockfighting Society (his dad is the promoted version of Lt. Surge). Antonio ends up showing me over to the library, where he finds a book called "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Gray Fish" by Dr. Goose. (this is important a bit later) He isn't able to finish the book, so the librarian lets him take it with him before his scavenger hunt. I follow because I get the feeling that he's going to hurt himself from his exuberance.

The scavenger hunt involves finding a list of things, which include getting his Pokédex (which required a permission slip), finding leftovers, getting a signature from the gym leader (Roxanne still, which is why I referred to my character as Roxie), getting a contest ribbon, and finding an Oran Berry. Antonio runs out the door with his list, but misses getting his permission slip because he left too quickly. The prize for getting everything done first is a Premier Ball covered in stickers.

He starts off by looking for berries. He pulls down a berry from a tree, but it's the wrong kind of berry (Rawst instead of Oran). He bites into the berry. "Leftovers" he says. He finds an Oran Berry from another tree, then zooms off to get a signature from Roxanne. He doesn't have a pen, so he ends up having her sign his list in crayon.

He then ends up speaking to Rachelle, who is a contest competitor, and ends up being allowed to borrow her ribbon if he acts as her bodyguard for an unspecified amount of time. I shrug, (my character's low-Charisma, so she's not so good with the social cues) and he agrees to act as a bodyguard, and requests that she teach him about battling and contests.

We then get to the tough part, the Pokédex. I end up attempting stalling by leaving my research credentials at Devon Corporation for a while as Antonio runs back and gets the permission slip (my character had just finished her Bachelor's of Archaeology at Sootopolis University). He gets the permission slip, attempts to hand it off to me, then runs while holding on to me over to Devon Corporation (since he felt it was faster that way). We make it back and...he finished first, so he transferred his starter over to the new ball with stickers on it. He then expressed to his teacher that he wanted to see the world. Since his dad would be furious if he was out of school for it, his teacher and I worked out a home study course for him so we could see the world and he could still learn about things.

To teach him how to battle, we later had a restrained battle with our early teams (Rachelle officiated). My team consisted of a Joltik (Jewel), a Natu (Paula) and an Aron (Tal, what I'm claiming as the starterest of starters). His team consisted of a Smoochum (Coach, his starter), a Tepig (Oolong) and a Mareep (who I forget the name of). The battle went on and...Antonio won. We had some close calls on the KO front, though.

The next morning, we ended up trying to catch Cockfighting Society north of town. Antonio made a catch of a Magikarp...with his bare hands. He named the Magikarp "Red Fish". He declared that it was his solemn duty to find Gray Fish for Red Fish to meet. (Out of character, KT declared that she's never evolving that Magikarp.)

Meanwhile, I was beset by a Swablu. This Swablu ended up being a bit of a neat freak, as he was brushing me off with his wings. I thought "I could use your tidiness to help with cleaning off fossils. I should catch you." After two failed Pokéballs, I was down to my last one. I smeared some mud on the inside of the ball and left it open. The Swablu began to clean, and I closed the ball on its wing, rolled for capture, and succeeded. I named him Keneth.

Aw yeah

only thing better than a Warforged Fighter is a Warforged Wizard

The only thing better than a Warforged Wizard is a...

Shit, just make your favorite class Warforged and you've got a winner.

Subbing out my Charisma Paladin for a Feypact Hexblade. Maybe tiefling.

A tiefling warlock? That's new.

I am the ultimate hypocrite though, my ranger is an elf and my wizard is an eladrin.

EDIT: Actually, after checking, it turns out tieflings do not in fact lend themselves well to being hexblades. Carry on.

This isn't a very entertaining story, but it felt good when my L.G. warforged fighter managed to bring down a death cult by using the law, despite opposition of the entire rest of the party.

~*~proper role-playing~*~


A more entertaining side to the story is that naturally, the law enforcement in the town didn't take kindly to seeing a heavily armed robot wandering the streets. Instead of using my diplomacy to convince him, I just took the hits until the justicar saw I wasn't going to retaliate. It was impossible for the justicar, like most creatures we've encountered, to deal any damage to me short of a natural twenty.

I made an evil rager designed specifically to fuck up player adventurers.



I think I did pretty good.

What's that tool you're using?

The official character builder. I've been using it more for storywriting than for roleplaying.

Here it is.

Is that the one which requires a subscription? Also I just noticed +36 to hit and 3d6+40 damage holy fuck what level is this guy?

Edit: Yep it is. Oh well.

Level 30, you can see one of the bonuses is +15 for half-level.

And yeah, it requires a D&D Insider subscription.

Oh so he's Epic level then. Or is that Paragon. Still getting used to "reading" character stats.

I was curious mainly because his passive "to hit" is almost twice my paladin's existing AC and even if it rolled a 1 for damage that thing'd Bloody him too.

Yeah, he's at the level cap. Like I said, I designed him to destroy player characters, and that attack bonus is almost guaranteed to hit all but the most heavily-armored opponents.