AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Q?

Hey there, what's a forum like you doing in a place like this?

Hey guiz, what's going on?

Fauche bro, fuck yes, you're rockin that like a boss

Okay fuckers, it seems like most of you are either confused about hats, or fans of hats of the cardboard two dollar persuasion, so I think it's time for Hats 101.

There are two things you need to remember. One, they're an accessory, and two, they're usually a formal one. The fuck does that mean? Well, let's grab some visual aids yeah



See? Hats are good. You already know that. They're pretty rad. But rad as they might be, they only complement what you're already wearing.



Without the finishing touch of the hat, what I'm wearing still looks fine. Dandy as a motherfucker. All the hat has done is give me a slight additional bonus option. Of course, if you stick with buying just a hat, well -



- exactly. There's nothing wrong with liking a hat a lot, and deciding what you want to wear that day based on that hat. Many times I've thought "today feels like a bowler kind of day", and then gone through my wardrobe to pick out something appropriate, and that's fine. You need to make daisies sure you've got something to wear it with, though, otherwise you're just going to look like a ten year old trying to be a cool dude.

Now, hats are expensive. That bowler there set me back about 220 USD. Why's that? The same reasons that all other kinds of formal clothes cost a lot. Higher quality materials, tighter design, possibly bespoke, usually hand made - there's a lot of shit going on. Remember up there where I said hats are usually formal? Of course you don't, you're a retard. Well they are usually formal, yes, and that INCLUDES A FEDORA. I don't care if it's plaid, it's still more dressy than it is casual. Solid colours even more so - it's difficult to get more formal than a plain black hat.

With that in mind, get a fucking cap! Caps are cheap, probably about as cheap as your shitty cardboard headgear. You can get expensive ones too, certainly; I myself have a few decent leather caps that I think set me back about 70 bucks each, but that's beside the point. Caps are cheap, as well as informal. What does that mean? It means you can wear one with your shitty jeans you've had for ten years and that dumb t-shirt your mum bought you off the internet with a cake joke on it without looking like this

I want a very classy top hat.

That is all.

Aaand there's the part where you look like a ten year old

only hat i've ever really liked wearing was a plain canvas bucket hat

>In Australia, this hat is referred to as a giggle hat.
spoony your people are odd in naming apparel

omg spoony where can i find that hat at walmart

Man, they're fuckin weird at everything

Sorry bro, it's in the no chins allowed section

Are you hocking a loogie

that thing on your wall is crooked

Spoony, you're a fashion goddess. Bear my children.

oh dear me, my lungs seem to have been coughed out of my body


that lego star wars shirt did it in for me.


OH WAIT I SEE A CAT.

IT'S LIKE A CAT VERSION OF YOUR DOG SPOONY.