AWKWARD ZOMBIE

These new bluetooth headphones only connect to one device at a time. I hoped I'd be able to listen to my music but have my work phone interrupt when I have a call, but the phone and Kindle can't connect to the headphones at the same time. I can't hear it ring when music's playing and I can't feel it vibrate, but I don't like anyone enough to care about getting a call so... I'll just check my phone for missed calls more often?

My left eyelid has been twitchy for over two weeks because of lack of sleep and stress.

edit: I'm writing my presentation letter to go with my résumé and the stiltedness is making me writhe in pain.

I need to learn how to leave work at work and stop worrying about it when I'm at home. It's like every now and then I see something that reminds me of what we're doing at the school and it sends a pang of worry that'll last for a few minutes before I can distract myself with something.

Doesn't help that I'm being evaluated tomorrow and worrying about that too. But I've already got everything prepared, so it's not like there's any use worrying anyway. It's tough when it feels like you're constantly being judged and critiqued on your performance, even when people are helping you improve.

On January 20th, Professor McIncompetent sent everyone a PM to ask who could be interested in a specific internship and I answered within 10 minutes that I was but that I needed more details. I have still not gotten any response. After a week I asked Professor A (I pointed out how McIncompetent never got back to me) and he transferred the PM they all had in their inbox within half an hour, so basically I lost one week because of McIncompetent.

On Tuesday Professor A was reviewing my résumé with me and I asked him the exact dates of beginning and end of the internship. He was not completely sure so he sent a PM to Professor McIncompetent (who is the one in charge of managing the internships and who we've been repeatedly instructed to rely on and include in every step of the process) asking him to reply to both him and every student and told me we should get an answer within a day. I have yet to receive anything from him, just as we have come to expect from McIncompetent.

I finally got to send my résumé+presentation letter this afternoon and I got an actual response from the person I sent it to (!!) asking me the exact dates of beginning and end of the internship. Gee, I hope my answer wasn't too far off! Thanks McIncompetent

My 5 year old sister fell asleep on the couch last night so I picked her up to put her in her bed and hurt my back. I figured sleeping would fix it since it didn't hurt that bad but it's been even worse today. I might have to get it checked out if it doesn't go away by tomorrow. I guess I've learned the hard way to lift with my legs and not my back.

The taxi company made us wait an accumulated two and a half hours for our cabs, today.

Meh.

One of my pet peeves that I probably can't explain properly to you guys is how French-speaking young people who use lots of English loan words (like gamers and geeks which make up 100% of the people I meet every day) don't even conjugate loaned verbs. It's always been a thing here (not so much in France) to conjugate loaned English verbs like French verbs of the 1st group, i.e. add -er to the infinitive tense, -é to the past participles, etc. It really irks me both aesthetically and culturally when people just use unmodified English infinitives regardless of the tense.

The deadline to turn in Important Document Worth 20% was yesterday. I spent the entire week trying to make Unreliable Teammates work on it while still doing everything myself because Unreliable Teammates are unreliable and I was always specific and reminded them what parts were missing and whose job each part was every day.

PM from me to them at 7PM yesterday : I turned in Important Document just to be sure. Part 5 is missing, we agreed that Teammate A would do it. Please turn in Important Document again after it's done.
PM from Teammate A at noon today: Did someone turn in Important Document?
Reply from me: <Direct quote from previous message telling them I just turned it in>
Reply from Teammate A: I totally forgot to do Part 5.

Here I am thinking that doing important team assignments is more important than going to the gym or textflirting with a girl that's not your girlfriend or texting your actual girlfriend during class or shopping for tech you have no use for or taking ten minutes to pick your next gaming edm playlist to blast through your oversized gaming headphones that you bring to class and wear at all time or playing the latest 1-button-masher smartphone fluke game. I feel silly now.

☆teamwork!☆

Thought my microwave oven was dead already after less than a year. Turns out the jack it was plugged into was dead. That's less bad.

At 72+°F, I start breaking out into horrible itches whenever I feel the slightest bit of embarrassment over something.

It probably wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't so overly judgmental of myself when dealing with other people and had so much social anxiety.
Mispronouncing words, stuttering, being misunderstood in weird ways, physical clumsiness, digital clumsiness, realizing something I said can be interpreted in a manner that wasn't intended...

The library is in shambles cuz they keep sending new people but they don't stick around long enough to remember anything. The whole 1000 monkeys and the typewriter thing is bullshit.

On the upside, I am now CPR certified. Please feel free to die around me, I got your back homie.

My brother tried to install new drivers for the wireless adapter, apparently. Windows 10 doesn't seem to like them. So I'm the one left to fix it.

I keep flipping back and forth between "yeah I have problems but I'm 100% in control of my actions and I can solve them, one day at a time" ...and "I'm terrible and I will always be terrible because that's just my personality and there's nothing I can do about it"

...just, like, can I save this stress for tomorrow, I'm trying to relax here.

I made a lot of stupid mistakes today.

We can dance if you want to
But leave your friends behind.
'cuz your friends don't dance,
And if they don't dance,
Then they are no friends of mine!

That. Just that part of the song. That's what's been running through my head for the past few days.

I kind of want to hear the whole song, but I'm too lazy to look it up on YouTube, or look up the lyrics. Same thing for the song "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals.