AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I'm sick, for about a month now actually... Feels like there is an endless supply of mucus in my throat and my chest is really hurting from all the coughing. Why won't it go away?!
Finally deciding to go to a doctor...

Not really TMI but just enough to warrant it being posted here.

I went to my friend joeys house, and he tells me before and my a lady friend got there that his dog is passed out from eating about half a pound of cannibutter.
We check on the dog to make sure it's breathing and what not, and he finally wakes up after a bit.
He was wobbling and just freaking out.
We took him outside because he was involuntarily pissing himself in the house.
Wake up at around 11, he's sitting under his truck. Just sitting there staring at the dirt.
Poor Pittlesworth.

I hardly eat but I'm still fat as fuck. I think it's because of what I drink.

damnit

not eating is bad way to lose weight

I don't not eat on purpose

My weight fluctuates; sometimes I put on a few pounds and sometimes I lose a few. Possibly if I was really detirmined I could exercise and um, lose more weight and maybe get some proper muscles but i don't.

I dont know how and I'm pretty sure this isn't healthy, but I have 2% body fat and a regular lanyard fits around my waist.
I've been told I have the body figure of a ballerina.

your gender fluctuates

And now we know why he keeps attracting the gay guys.

Hello~

Oh my~

wait is this quote and madican aimed at me
if so erm how does losing pounds help me do this, i'm not quite getting the joke aha.

the pounds are the genetalia

Um, i think I get this. A bit. I don't get it fully, but like, idk what weight has much to do with that but ok.

Why do my cats insist on eating plastic...