AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The above, and also check out the rules thread and the introduction thread in General Shenanigans.

You're probably okay as long as you don't get a message from someone with a colorful name.

If you don't know how to do something, look it up in the 'Search Bar' in the upper right corner. The chances are someone's already posted an answer.

Bots post more often then people sometimes, so report them but don't reply. If they say something you find funny, Unimportant Topics is where you should write about it.

pop flyin' foruming.

So just another normal day?

I think the last time I got called a sociopath was when I managed to move an entire conversation with my mind.

My proudest moment was when I got banned from r/LateStageCapitalism for saying things to the effect of "maybe if you were nice to people and more willing to listen to moderate opinions some people would think more favorably of socialism"

welp

getting banned from the psychopathic reddit communities is so much fun.

/r/incels, /r/theredpill, /r/the_donald
the userbase crossover between those three is almost 100%, too



unrelated, I went to Ocean Grove NJ today and saw the beach for the first time in 19 years.


Beaches are okay, I fucking hate the ocean holy shit
a wave splashed water in my mouth and I threw up 3 times it was so disgusting. instant gag reflex
and a crab attacked me. in the crabs defense, I stepped on it

I'm also the most sunburned I have ever been in my life.
and somehow I had sand around the edge of my dickhead, which was unexpected and uncomfortable

Well they do say that sand is course, rough, irritating and gets everywhere.

you're not supposed to fuck the beach, ya silly goose

Greetings, all! I know that I've been absent for 1 billion years but there is good reason for this; I built a Tiny House! My fiance and I are super excited to start living in it and we'll be completely off grid within a year so that'll give us a ton of mobility and economic freedom, which we are pleased with. Once I get it up here to NY I'll share some pics and stuff!

Yooo, congrats dude! It seems like a tiny house would be fun and affordable to live in but I wouldn't have the means to haul it around so it would have to stay on a property. Also I'd need space for art and vidya.

Trailer for Netflix's new series The Magic School Bus Rides Again dropped today. Everyone on the internet already decided they hate it and it's the worst thing ever and Netflix is personally setting fire to and shitting all over their childhoods.

have you considered that

just maybe


you aren't an 8 year old schoolchild anymore
My mom is a teacher and she's excited for the new series, as are my nephews.
And me. It looks fun.

What

I didn't even click it for context.
Just what

Just finished my first week as a Salesforce developer. Corporate hell ain't that bad at all.

I hope it lasts longer for you than it did for me. I've been depressed for months because I realized I hate it and it will never change, so I'll have to find another job before I completely burn out. It got so bad a few weeks ago it pushed me over my horror of social networks and made me create a LinkedIn account. I've been thinking of getting into videogames but it seems harder to get into (which is to be expected). I talked with a new guy from work who has worked in videogames before and is looking to start his own thing and he says to get hired anywhere you have to do 48-hour jams and the like which are really not my thing. Ubisoft is apparently hiring 1000 developers in Saguenay so there are definitely openings in that area, but I'm unsure about everything. Montreal is just not an option for me as I hate cities. Bleh.

Hmm, I think a large part of it is having nice colleagues (I got hired at the same place as one of my best friends) and a relaxed environment. It barely feels like I'm working since I can set my own pace. But it might be too soon to tell of course after only a week.

Have you always worked at the same place? Just changing workplaces could make the difference if you're hesitant about diving into game development. I suspect the work culture in the US/Canada is quite different from the EU though, that might also play into it.

Yeah this is my first job (I was hired after my internship).
My colleagues are nice and the conditions are more than correct, but the projects are just uninvolving and full of irritating bullshit.

Every project requires to log into either a remote desktop with spotty availability or a VDI with spottier availability and absolutely atrocious performance, and either way you're required to log in to the "secured" IE-only portal with three consecutive passwords and a physical RSA token and then you can enter your password three more times to log in to the remote machine and then you enter it again a couple times every time you want to run a program or change a setting (like cleartype antialiasing, which is stupidly disabled every single time and triggers an admin prompt when you try to turn it on and my team lead called me a diva when I pointed out that it's kind of bad to have shitty unkerned pixelated text when you're looking at text for eight hours every day). You can't type at your own pace because the remote machine is too shitty and will randomly freeze with every input and at best it will process your keys a second later, which is also great when you spend your day typing. They also removed our access to the Internet from the remote machines because it counted as a security risk so we constantly have to switch back to our local machine when we need it. These are web applications.

The projects themselves are really not interesting to me. The first project I've worked on from the beginning until two months ago (although I'm still working on it from time to time like the last two weeks because someone had to replace the sole developer they kept for support while he's on vacation) was an integrated platform for a bank, which meant it never got more exciting than translating the abstract (and completely meaningless to me) business rules into code, There was no code quality control whatsoever and the project was mostly done by a rotating cast of interns and juniors to keep it cheap (although according to my calculations the developpers probably represented about 0.5% of the budget!) so it was a smelly junkyard. The architecture was also your typical "keep it cheap and shoehorn in as many overbearing frameworks as possible because Java singletons are too hard for humans to understand" plus an overengineered mess of a processing queue that noone understood. Yesterday I had to spend the afternoon figuring out a way to pass arguments to a function in a context that was completely moronic and could have been avoided if I had been allowed to put code where it belongs (i.e. in the class that needs to execute it) instead of into the reflexion-based Spring-powered declarative dependancy that was to be run in the processing queue in a separate process that can't communicate. For the anecdote, I was forced to save three variables in the database and retrieve them later for absolutely no valid reason. The conjunction of the bad architecture ("but the buzzwords say it's better!!") and Spring (a useless overbearing piece of shit of a framework) means every new data access method we define requires at least 6 files to be changed, and we're not allowed to clean up the indentation of files.

The new project I've been working on for the past two months is pointless and boring. We are rewriting a Groovy web application in Java and that's it. We're not allowed to make changes that would improve it. We're required to reuse as much as possible even when it's detrimental (I was asked to redo a feature, which I developed using a different approach because the legacy application did it badly and had a bug that corrupted all processed data and thus defeated its own purpose, precisely because it did not reuse the exact same terrible legacy code which doesn't even meet the requirements). Most of the features bodaciously involve simply copying files over and search&replaceing words. Also it turns out I hate web applications.

We're kept in the shadows about everything. I was told two days in advance that I would have to replace my team lead during his vacations (they never asked if it was okay) but I was not told what it involved and I was given no instructions or training so it went terribly.

Looking back at the past year, I could say I went through the stages of grief. For the first six months I was in denial ("it's okay if I think every design decision is assbackwards and the technologies all suck, that's how the real world works and I'm just a noob so what do I know"), then they put me in a position I didn't want against my will (I had to teach programming basics to the grossly underqualified support team) and I was angry for most of the winter, then I tried bargaining (my new position prevented me from doing any actual development so I worked extra hours from home to have something satisfying to do, then when it turned out the amateur-coded application ran like an amateur-coded application and thus could not be delivered, I proposed easy fixes, which were all rejected because they involved half a day of original programming and not weeks of fiddling with frameworks), then I was depressed during spring and summer, and now I'm accepting that this job just sucks and I'm tired of pretending I like it so I'm openly looking for another.

Irma's pushing further west, things are gonna get rough here for a bit. Spent all day helping my folks take care of their last-minute shit and now it's time to board up my house. See y'all when it's over.